David Bruckner

Horror Headlines: Monday August 12th, 2013

The fried cheese curd is one of the greatest things that's ever been invented and I both love and hate the mid-west for keeping it for themselves.

If you can think all the way back to 2012 and the first "V/H/S" you might remember David Bruckner's contribution about a freaky ass monster girl who goes buck wild on some fellas in a hotel room. Well if you liked that you might just want to check out "Intrusion", a soon to be made movie about a woman who moves to San Francisco and finds she is being stalked by a nut bag, because Bruckner has just signed on to direct the project. If you can't remember all the way back to 2012 though you might want to think about seeing a doctor. It was only a year ago. You might have something seriously wrong with you.

M. Night Shyamalan and Juliette Lewis, we used to love them both. Not me so much, but other people, other people wanted to marry them both. Not at the same time I think, I don't really know. I honestly never got the details. But what my point here is, Lewis has been cast as a straight talkin bartender in "Wayward Pines", the new Fox series being helmed by Shyamalan that follows a secret service agent who comes to a small town looking to find two missing federal agents. Alright I'll just say it, I didn't care for "Natural Born Killers".

I was 99% sure the documentary "Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History of Friday The 13th" had already come and gone but apparently it was set for an August 27th release date. I say was because apparently someone attached to the release had the good sense to say, "hey why don't we push the release a few weeks and release it on September 13th? Why you ask? Well because that's a Friday the 13th and the documentary is based on a series of films titled 'Friday the 13th'. You see why that might be a smart idea? Oh good I'm glad we agree. Have you lost weight?" I assume that's how the conversation went at least. I imagine some people with very nice shoes being involved in this conversation.

Of course there's going to be a second "Sharknado" and of course it's going to be called "Sharknado 2: The Second One". Have at it twitter.

In Real People News: 

If you're in the woods making meth and you get lost I guess calling the cops and telling them you're actually out there looking for ghosts is one way to go. I mean make no mistake they will find out you're making meth but still, it's a way to go.

If the song "Cat Scratch Fever" was actually about a guy being in love with a cat than there's a good chance Ted Nugent would most likely be in jail. But it's not, so instead this guy in Idaho who made love to his own cat is now in prison. Alright honestly this isn't really a tit for tat thing but now you have "Cat Scratch Fever" stuck in your head so I kind of think I've done my job here.

Horror Headlines: Friday, January 27th, 2012

I don't even know how long ago that Rebecca Black song came out but it still rings in my head every Friday. That's got to mean something to someone. Anyone!

No real surprise here but it looks like " V/H/S", the horror anthology from Adam Wingard, Glenn McQuaid, Radio Silence, David Bruckner, Joe Swanberg and Ti West, has been picked up by Magnolia Pictures. The film tells the story of a group of burglars who discover a bunch of weird videos in a house they're robbing. From the number of directors I assume each story will be about 3 minutes or the movie will be 4 hours long.

If there's one thing you know about me it's that I freakin love Norway. Corpse paint, trolls, and everything in between. Give it to me! So I couldn't be more excited about the trailer for the new film "Thale" . The movie is based on the mythical Norwegian charter Huldra, which is a sassy minx who lures men into the woods. Sounds fun but unfortunately the men never return. Oh and the Huldra has a cow's tail. God I love Norway.

All you really need to know about "Monster Brawl" is that it's a fake Pay-Per-View battle royal between some classic monsters and Jimmy "Mouth Of the South" Hart is in it. Now that I've got you all excited here's the bad news. Image Entertainment has decided to push back the DVD/Blue-Ray release from March 27th to June 12th and unfortunately haven't given a reason. I need a reason! Maybe it's because they're trying to get Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. Let's pray.

I don't know how much you can really believe this but Megan Ellison, founder of Annapurna Films which now owns the rights to "Terminator 5", how promised the next installment in the robot series will indeed be rated R. She let this news out via her twitter account though and I'm not positive but I don't think anything on there will hold up in court.

In Real People News: 

Ladies and gentlemen, well mostly gentlemen, and I don't really mean "gentlemen"... here is the greatest invention to ever been imagined. An aftershave specifically designed to hide the smell of a strip club.

Little baby goats are always adorable. Well not always, this one that was born with 6 legs in Europe and is an abomination and should be thrown into a lake.

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