Inspired by true events? Anthony Hopkins? Exorcism? Movie? These are all words you can read! There also words that describe the film "The Rite" which finally has a trailer. We're off to a good start today.
Patrick Alvarez, someone I have no idea about, has been tapped to direct "Girls", a movie about a girls slumber party gone terribly wrong. Apparently this is not a porn, which might explain the terribly wrong part. Or maybe that's just for me. At the very least there better we a tickle fight.
If you didn't see Duncan Jones' "Moon" then you missed out because it was awesome and it had zero Jake Gyllenhaal's. Unfortunately his follow up "Source Code" has one Jake Gyllenhaal but you should still give it a chance. Based on the new behind the scenes photos of the pic it might have a chance, if that jackass doesn't smile with the stupid goofy face of his.
Johnny Depp on the new Tim Burton film "Dark Shadows" which is based on the cult TV show, "it's gotten f**kin' good". That is all.
Even with a cold black heart I still couldn't help but get a little choked up about this one. Scrub is an adorable kitten that found it's way home 5 years after it was lost in hurricane Katrina. If you're not crying then you're a monster.
Tim Burton and super hunk Johnny Depp will finally begin filming the big screen version of "Dark Shadows" this April. For those of you not familiar with the original TV show it's kind of like "Soup" but not funny, with vampires and a lot of English accents. Of course I learned all this from a TV commercial selling the entire series on DVD so I could be off.
What's next up on the remake list? "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things", the 1973 zombie flick which I'm 99% sure was shot on someone's home camera. Did they have home cameras back then? I have no clue, maybe that's a really good thing for back then. What a strange and wondrous world it must of been back in the 70's.
Oh boy, who's as excited as me for the second episode of "The Walking Dead"? No one, that's the answer, no one could possibly be as excited as I am. Anyway here's a sneak peek at the second episode, don't even try to pretend that you wet yourself like I did. That's Joe's thing!
In Real People News:
Too far America, too far! San Francisco has apparently passed a low making it illegal to include free toys with unhealthy meals. Meaning the McDonald's Happy Meal is a no-no for kids anymore. You win the world series and all of a sudden you think you can play god. I know I know, it's a long shot making a sports joke on a horror website.
Yes, yes and yes. I want this. It's the world's largest coffee, holding a stunning 2,010 gallons of the good stuff put together together by the people at GourmetGiftBaskets.com. I hope it's black, I only drink mine black. Only hippies use cream and sugar.
On this day in history:
2009 - A shooting rampage at the Fort Hood Army post in Texas left 13 people dead; Maj. Nidal Hasan, an Army psychiatrist, was charged in the worst mass killing on a U.S. military base
"Hellraiser: Revelations" is confirmed to start filming next month and will in fact not be a remake of the original classic, which is apparently still on the table. This one will be a small budget continuation of the Hellraiser franchise and will most likely go direct to video. Small budget meaning they can only afford four nails for Pinhead's face. Hey, time are tough for everyone.
1998 - Retaliating for deadly embassy bombings in East Africa, the United States launched cruise missile strikes against al-Qaida training camps in Afghanistan and what was described as a chemical plant in Sudan.
Lars von Trier has let it be known that he will next be visiting the end of the world with his apocalyptic thriller "Melancholia". Few details are certain at this time but early rumors claim that the movie will involve Earth colliding with another planet. So far, there has been no mention on whether or no Willem Dafoe's penis will make an appearance or not.
"Alice in Wonderland" scribe Linda Wolverton is working on a live action "Maleficent" screen play. If you're currently scratching your head, Maleficent is the evil queen from Disney's 1956 classic "Sleeping Beauty". Even stranger, Tim Burton is said to have taken keen interest in the project and may be lining up to direct.
After finally un-wedging his bulk from the seats of Soutwest Air, Kevin Smith lets it be known via his twitter account that they are finally ready to begin on "Red State". From Smith, "Looks like we start shooting this July. Took nearly three years, but we're finally ready to roll on Red".
In Real People News:
A 62 year old Hong Kong man was fed up with life, and poor health decided to take his life in what he claimed were the ancient ways of his ancestors; by shoving a large zucchini into his rectum. His daughter was surprised when she came home to find him writing in pain on the floor, bleeding from the anus.
According to everybody but Tim Burton himself, the director's next movie will be a feature length version of his 1984 short "Frankenweenie", a spoof on Mary Shelly's classic book surrounding a man who brings his dog back to life after being hit by a car. Expect confirmation from Burton any time now along with casting news announcing Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp in the lead.
Manhattan area police are on a vampire hunt. During a routine pickup, a passenger tried to rob Mouhamodo Seck at gunpoint. When Seck managed to knock the gun out of his attackers hands, the man then started to bite Seck about the arm, shoulder and back.
Tim Burton is aiming his sights on his next production as he makes plans to team with Russian Timur Bekmambetov for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Based on best selling author Seth Grahame-Smith's novel, in the same vein as his hit "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". Both film-makers will be taking on producer duties as a director has not yet been listed.
Warner Brothers has announced their plans to bring the classic "Space Invaders" to the big screen. This joins the long list of other classic arcade games that will be mentioned as in the works for big screen treatment and never heard from again!
Stefan Ruzowitzky, Austrian director of the Oscar winning "The Counterfeiters" is in talks to direct the period piece "The Last Voyage of the Demeter" which has been written for nearly five years now. Concentrating on the over seas voyage of Dracula as he fled Transylvania, this could be something fun on the horizon.
In Real People News:
PETA has decided that the Berlin Zoo will be its next target as they urge the facility to have Knut the Polar Bear castrated. Not just an idle request, they are trying to prevent Mr. Knut from having incestual sex with his partner Giovanna who has the same grandpa polar bear as Knut.
Hey guys, Louis Fowler here, live from Comic-Con '09! And, by Comic-Con '09, I mean my office in my underwear. Crap...I just dropped Toaster Strudel on my chest. The jelly is getting all mingled in my lush chest-hair. This wouldn't happen if I was wearing my homemade Flash costume...
Forest Whitaker and 50 Cent will play “intense” dueling personalities in the umpteenth retelling of “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”, according to MTV. This makes me a bit mad because they both turned down my cop movie “Lazy Eye and Mumble Mouth: NYPD” to do it.
After he's done with “Alice in CGI-land”, Tim Burton's next movie will be a remake/retelling/reimagining of the 1960s cult vampire soap opera “Dark Shadows”. Let's place bets now that Johnny Depp is in it. Is it just me or is Tim Burton out of ideas? When he's not destroying the Ozone Layer applying copious amounts of Aquanet to his Robert Smith-like coif, I think that he's too busy rolling around naked in piles of money made off the fleshy backs of 30-year-old women who's wardrobe mainly consists of “Nightmare Before Christmas” hoodies to come up with anything original ever again. Seriously ladies, it's called TJ Maxx. Get yourself a nice pantsuit, on me.
Swarthy homunculus Danny DeVito, taking a break from banging that hot piece of ass known as Rhea Perlman, has started an original horror film website called “The Blood Factory”. Danny DeVito? Are they “short” films? Hahahahahaha...oh, wait, they are. I give the website a year, but, then again, that's what I said about Ted Danson's “Becker”, and that lasted at least three years, two of them HILARIOUS.
I don't know why it hasn't been pimped here, but how about you do yourself a favor and download “Who Wants a Tortilla?”, a joint project between BGH and Night of the Living Podcast, starring me and Chiz, and filmed at last spring's HorrorHound Weekend! We make Tom Savini uncomfortable!
In Real People News:
In the past ten days, $10.2 billion dollars worth of marijuana have been confiscated in Fresno, California. When I asked my pot-smoking neighbor Chad “Kind Bud” Budderson for comment, he said: “Hey man, this is like, bullshit! Man, did you know that, like, President Obama has his own private field of weed, just like Kennedy and Thomas Jefferson, man? People gotta tell City Hall that, you know, you can make rope and glaucoma out of weed, bro! War on drugs, let's make it a war on shwag! Hahahahahaha...dude! Do you ever stop to think about...the universe?”
Speaking of lovable chihuahuas, who doesn't want a five-legged one? We all would—that little vestigial leg is just more to love! The adorable puppy, named Lily, was rescued from a freak show on Coney Island at a cost of $4000. The fifth leg, located in the puppy's butt, made it impossible for Lily to sit, lay down or really even walk, but I would be two busy hugging and kissing her little nose to notice. Luckily, the new owners did notice and had the leg surgically removed, to the tune of $2000. I LOVE YOU 5-LEGGED PUPPY!
So for the past month or so we’ve been seeing more and more images coming out for Tim Burton’s “Alice In Wonderland”. Well not we’ve got the first official teaser trailer for the film which is currently set for a March 5th, 2010 release.