tim burton

Horror Headlines: Friday December 10th, 2010

Inspired by true events? Anthony Hopkins? Exorcism? Movie? These are all words you can read! There also words that describe the film "The Rite" which finally has a trailer. We're off to a good start today.

Patrick Alvarez, someone I have no idea about, has been tapped to direct "Girls", a movie about a girls slumber party gone terribly wrong. Apparently this is not a porn, which might explain the terribly wrong part. Or maybe that's just for me. At the very least there better we a tickle fight.

If you didn't see Duncan Jones' "Moon" then you missed out because it was awesome and it had zero Jake Gyllenhaal's. Unfortunately his follow up "Source Code" has one Jake Gyllenhaal but you should still give it a chance. Based on the new behind the scenes photos of the pic it might have a chance, if that jackass doesn't smile with the stupid goofy face of his.

Johnny Depp on the new Tim Burton film "Dark Shadows" which is based on the cult TV show, "it's gotten f**kin' good". That is all.

In Real People News: 

How do you slow down speeding drivers? Set up cardboard cutouts of police women in mini skirts of course. I can't believe it took this long for us to figure that out.

Even with a cold black heart I still couldn't help but get a little choked up about this one. Scrub is an adorable kitten that found it's way home 5 years after it was lost in hurricane Katrina. If you're not crying then you're a monster.

Horror Headlines: Friday November 5th, 2010

Tim Burton and super hunk Johnny Depp will finally begin filming the big screen version of "Dark Shadows" this April. For those of you not familiar with the original TV show it's kind of like "Soup" but not funny, with vampires and a lot of English accents. Of course I learned all this from a TV commercial selling the entire series on DVD so I could be off.

I've yet to figure out what a producer actually does but John Carpenter is apparently set to be the executive producer on Dennison Ramalho's new film "The Hell Within". Apparently the entire movie will be shot in Brazil so I'm starting to think old John John is just looking for a vacation.

What's next up on the remake list? "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things", the 1973 zombie flick which I'm 99% sure was shot on someone's home camera. Did they have home cameras back then? I have no clue, maybe that's a really good thing for back then. What a strange and wondrous world it must of been back in the 70's.

Oh boy, who's as excited as me for the second episode of "The Walking Dead"? No one, that's the answer, no one could possibly be as excited as I am. Anyway here's a sneak peek at the second episode, don't even try to pretend that you wet yourself like I did. That's Joe's thing!

In Real People News: 

Too far America, too far! San Francisco has apparently passed a low making it illegal to include free toys with unhealthy meals. Meaning the McDonald's Happy Meal is a no-no for kids anymore. You win the world series and all of a sudden you think you can play god. I know I know, it's a long shot making a sports joke on a horror website.

Yes, yes and yes. I want this. It's the world's largest coffee, holding a stunning 2,010 gallons of the good stuff put together together by the people at GourmetGiftBaskets.com. I hope it's black, I only drink mine black. Only hippies use cream and sugar.

On this day in history: 

2009 - A shooting rampage at the Fort Hood Army post in Texas left 13 people dead; Maj. Nidal Hasan, an Army psychiatrist, was charged in the worst mass killing on a U.S. military base

Horror Headlines: Thursday October 14th, 2010

Well here's something you don't see every day. The release of the "Fright Night" remake has actually been pushed up from an October 2011 release to August. I don't think I've ever heard of a horror film actually having a release date moved up. This has to be one of the signs of the apocalypse.

Luke Evans and Alice Eve have both joined the cast of the big screen version of Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven". It's already been announced that John Cusak will play Poe and I will not understand a word of the dialog. Can't wait!

If you don't have "Walking Dead" fever by now there's a solid chance you're a commie. There I said it. Commies won't be excited to see the new TV spot for the AMC series and they hate freedom. Therefore if you're not excited after you watch thee new trailer than you hate freedom and you are of course a commie. That's simple math, folks.

Hollywood's El Capitan Theater will be showing "The Nightmare Before Christmas" in 4D this month, meaning the movie will be in 3D and the theater will also feature wind and fog along with some special guests. I love this movie and to date I've paid to see it when it was released, paid to see it in 3D, bought it on VHS, bought it on DVD and finally on Blu-Ray. Well played on the 4D Mr. Burton but you've already got enough of my money.

In Real People News: 

You ever get drunk and go over to your buddy's house to mess with him? Well Two guys in Uniontown PA took that idea to the next level by getting hammered and knocking on the local police station door. Apparently they don't look kindly on that sort of thing. Good to know.

On this day in history: 

1968 – An earthquake rated at 6.8 on the Richter Scale destroys the Australian town of Meckering, Western Australia, and it also ruptures all nearby main highways and railroads.

Horror Headlines: Friday August 20th, 2010

A new super hot super spooky poster for the upcoming Ryan Reynolds flick "Buried" has been released. Most of the quotes are cut off in the poster but I assume somewhere in there is "Please bring back Two guys, a girl and a Pizza Place"

The screenwriters behind "Ed Wood" have signed on to write the upcoming Tim Burton stop motion animated "The Adams Family" film. I was pretty excited about this and then I saw they also wrote "Problem Child 2" and "Agent Cody Banks". After that I got super excited!

"Hellraiser: Revelations" is confirmed to start filming next month and will in fact not be a remake of the original classic, which is apparently still on the table. This one will be a small budget continuation of the Hellraiser franchise and will most likely go direct to video. Small budget meaning they can only afford four nails for Pinhead's face. Hey, time are tough for everyone.

Emily Montague from "Melrose Place" has been added to the cast of the upcoming "Fright Night" remake. Don't get too excited though, she'll apparently play a victim of our head vamp so I'm guessing her screen time will total about 5 minutes. I have no idea why you would have been excited anyway... you watch "Melrose Place"?

In Real People News: 

A bull went batshit insane recently at a bullfight in Spain and leaped into the crowd. The best part? There's a freakin video of it! Of course now that I think about it, maybe leaping into the crowd at an event where the entire focus is on you being stabbed to death isn't that nuts.

On this day in history: 

1998 - Retaliating for deadly embassy bombings in East Africa, the United States launched cruise missile strikes against al-Qaida training camps in Afghanistan and what was described as a chemical plant in Sudan.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday March 24th, 2010

Wes Craven is a busy man this month! Rogue Pictures has announced that they will release his next film "My Soul to Take" on October 29th. Here's hoping that grand master Wes can give us horror fans a better Halloween treat than 'Yet Another Saw Movie'.

Lars von Trier has let it be known that he will next be visiting the end of the world with his apocalyptic thriller "Melancholia". Few details are certain at this time but early rumors claim that the movie will involve Earth colliding with another planet. So far, there has been no mention on whether or no Willem Dafoe's penis will make an appearance or not.

"Alice in Wonderland" scribe Linda Wolverton is working on a live action "Maleficent" screen play. If you're currently scratching your head, Maleficent is the evil queen from Disney's 1956 classic "Sleeping Beauty". Even stranger, Tim Burton is said to have taken keen interest in the project and may be lining up to direct.

After finally un-wedging his bulk from the seats of Soutwest Air, Kevin Smith lets it be known via his twitter account that they are finally ready to begin on "Red State". From Smith, "Looks like we start shooting this July. Took nearly three years, but we're finally ready to roll on Red".

In Real People News: 

A 62 year old Hong Kong man was fed up with life, and poor health decided to take his life in what he claimed were the ancient ways of his ancestors; by shoving a large zucchini into his rectum. His daughter was surprised when she came home to find him writing in pain on the floor, bleeding from the anus.

Cheaters never win and sore losers are never fun. Sometimes, people are just better than you. Frustrated after getting 'pwned' in Counter Strike at a local net cafe, a swearing gamer stabbed his 17 year old opponent in the head with a large kitchen knife when he suspected the 17 year old was cheating. "IM IN UR BASE, STABBIN UR DOODS"

On this day in history: 

1973 - Lou Reed is bitten in the ass by a rabid fan while onstage in Buffalo.

Horror Headlines: Monday March 22nd, 2010

Warner Brothers has their sights set firmly on bringing the hit manga and TV series "Bleach" to the live action space.

According to everybody but Tim Burton himself, the director's next movie will be a feature length version of his 1984 short "Frankenweenie", a spoof on Mary Shelly's classic book surrounding a man who brings his dog back to life after being hit by a car. Expect confirmation from Burton any time now along with casting news announcing Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp in the lead.

If you were hoping to catch more 'Keifer Sutherland afraid to look at himself in the mirror' action, your dreams will be coming true. Kind of. October 19th will see the direct video sequel "Mirrors 2" released to the public. Shifting focus to a boutique store in New Orleans, the sequel will star Nick Stahl, William Katt, and Emmanuelle Vaugier.

In Real People News: 

Manhattan area police are on a vampire hunt. During a routine pickup, a passenger tried to rob Mouhamodo Seck at gunpoint. When Seck managed to knock the gun out of his attackers hands, the man then started to bite Seck about the arm, shoulder and back.

Phil Spector is winning friends and influencing people in prison. The famous music producer recently had a few teeth knocked out by a fellow inmate after mouthing off in the rec yard.

On this day in history: 

1931 - William Shatner, the great actor, is born.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday March 3rd, 2010

While there are no details on what the homage will actually be, word is that 82nd Academy Awards will feature a segment dedicated to horror. That's saying a lot for the group that has all but ignored the genre since they awarded "Silence of the Lambs" Best Picture 19 years ago.

Tim Burton is aiming his sights on his next production as he makes plans to team with Russian Timur Bekmambetov for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Based on best selling author Seth Grahame-Smith's novel, in the same vein as his hit "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". Both film-makers will be taking on producer duties as a director has not yet been listed.

Warner Brothers has announced their plans to bring the classic "Space Invaders" to the big screen. This joins the long list of other classic arcade games that will be mentioned as in the works for big screen treatment and never heard from again!

Stefan Ruzowitzky, Austrian director of the Oscar winning "The Counterfeiters" is in talks to direct the period piece "The Last Voyage of the Demeter" which has been written for nearly five years now. Concentrating on the over seas voyage of Dracula as he fled Transylvania, this could be something fun on the horizon.

In Real People News: 

PETA has decided that the Berlin Zoo will be its next target as they urge the facility to have Knut the Polar Bear castrated. Not just an idle request, they are trying to prevent Mr. Knut from having incestual sex with his partner Giovanna who has the same grandpa polar bear as Knut.

O.J. Simpson has donated the suit he wore when acquitted of is wife's murder to the Smithsonian Museum. An official at the Smithsonian told TMZ "It's highly unlikely that we'll accept it".

On this day in history: 

1934 - John Dillinger escapes from an escape-proof jail in Crown Point Indiana, using a wooden pistol he carved himself. It's his second escape.

Horror Headlines: Friday July 24th, 2009

Hey guys, Louis Fowler here, live from Comic-Con '09! And, by Comic-Con '09, I mean my office in my underwear. Crap...I just dropped Toaster Strudel on my chest. The jelly is getting all mingled in my lush chest-hair. This wouldn't happen if I was wearing my homemade Flash costume...

Forest Whitaker and 50 Cent will play “intense” dueling personalities in the umpteenth retelling of “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”, according to MTV. This makes me a bit mad because they both turned down my cop movie “Lazy Eye and Mumble Mouth: NYPD” to do it.

After he's done with “Alice in CGI-land”, Tim Burton's next movie will be a remake/retelling/reimagining of the 1960s cult vampire soap opera “Dark Shadows”. Let's place bets now that Johnny Depp is in it. Is it just me or is Tim Burton out of ideas? When he's not destroying the Ozone Layer applying copious amounts of Aquanet to his Robert Smith-like coif, I think that he's too busy rolling around naked in piles of money made off the fleshy backs of 30-year-old women who's wardrobe mainly consists of “Nightmare Before Christmas” hoodies to come up with anything original ever again. Seriously ladies, it's called TJ Maxx. Get yourself a nice pantsuit, on me.

Swarthy homunculus Danny DeVito, taking a break from banging that hot piece of ass known as Rhea Perlman, has started an original horror film website called “The Blood Factory”. Danny DeVito? Are they “short” films? Hahahahahaha...oh, wait, they are. I give the website a year, but, then again, that's what I said about Ted Danson's “Becker”, and that lasted at least three years, two of them HILARIOUS.

I don't know why it hasn't been pimped here, but how about you do yourself a favor and download “Who Wants a Tortilla?”, a joint project between BGH and Night of the Living Podcast, starring me and Chiz, and filmed at last spring's HorrorHound Weekend! We make Tom Savini uncomfortable!

In Real People News: 

In the past ten days, $10.2 billion dollars worth of marijuana have been confiscated in Fresno, California. When I asked my pot-smoking neighbor Chad “Kind Bud” Budderson for comment, he said: “Hey man, this is like, bullshit! Man, did you know that, like, President Obama has his own private field of weed, just like Kennedy and Thomas Jefferson, man? People gotta tell City Hall that, you know, you can make rope and glaucoma out of weed, bro! War on drugs, let's make it a war on shwag! Hahahahahaha...dude! Do you ever stop to think about...the universe?”

Gidget, the beloved illegal immigrant chihuahua who won America's hearts through her “Yo Quiero Taco Bell” ad, passed away at the ripe old age of 13 this week. And who had to pay for her medical care? The American Taxpayer, I'm sure!

Speaking of lovable chihuahuas, who doesn't want a five-legged one? We all would—that little vestigial leg is just more to love! The adorable puppy, named Lily, was rescued from a freak show on Coney Island at a cost of $4000. The fifth leg, located in the puppy's butt, made it impossible for Lily to sit, lay down or really even walk, but I would be two busy hugging and kissing her little nose to notice. Luckily, the new owners did notice and had the leg surgically removed, to the tune of $2000. I LOVE YOU 5-LEGGED PUPPY!

Trailer For Tim Burton's “Alice” UPDATED!

So for the past month or so we’ve been seeing more and more images coming out for Tim Burton’s “Alice In Wonderland”. Well not we’ve got the first official teaser trailer for the film which is currently set for a March 5th, 2010 release.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday July 7th, 2009

"The Gate 3D" has secured $1.9 million and will begin shooting in Germany shortly, under the direction of Alex Winter. Winter starred in "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" in the 80's, and also directed the 1993 cult classic "Freaked".

Vanity Fair has a few, slightly new pics from "Alice in Wonderland", directed by Tim Burton and starring Helena Bohnam Carter, Johnny Depp and Anne Hathaway.

Darren Lynn Bousman lines up comic adaptation for after he's finished shooting the "Mother's Day" remake.

In Real People News: 

Naked man arrested for running into an arcade on the California/Nevada state line... says he took some LSD and thought he was "the Terminator". Awesome.

This is what happens when internet fights turn into real life fights complete with ear-biting. Just let it go people, let it go.

Gay lumberjacks protest teabaggers. Easily the best headline this week.

On this day in history: 

1665: King Charles II and his entourage flee London, a city suffering the ravages of the black plague. At this point, about 2,000 Londoners are dying weekly.

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