The River

Horror Icon Mini-Marathon: GLEN MORGAN

Until very recently, film and television were antagonistic entities; television was the inexpensive stepchild of film, and the creators of each were unlikely to be found working in the other. It changed in 2005, when Geena Davis and Glenn Close decided to appear on television series, and the act of creators and performers crossing back and forth between the two mediums is relatively common. But in the late 1990’s and early 2000’s, it was unusual that a creator could easily jump back and forth between film and television. One creator who did was Glen Morgan.

Horror Headlines: Thursday, July 26th, 2012

If you have any concerns about Spike Lee's remake of "Oldboy" being less then stellar, then Sharlto Copley is here to tenderly lull you into comfort. In a recent interview, the "District 9" actor praised the film for keeping true to the original and being very "gritty" and "dark". I don't know about you, but I trust anyone with an alien arm so I think we're going to be ok.

It's been over a year since we've heard anything about the small screen adaptation of "Powers," a comic book about a duo of cops who investigate criminals with super powers, but it looks like FX is still very much interested in making the show happen. A pilot for the show has already been filmed and shot down, but Charles Eglee has been brought in to do rewrites. Being that I'm a giant Egleehead, you know that I'm excited.

Producer Jason Blum found a big stinker with "The River," but bless his tender little heart for giving it another go with a new found footage series for MTV titled "The Experiment." The plot of the show has yet to be revealed, but I'm hoping for some sort of "Road Rules" tie in. Maybe they get Puck back on TV somehow. I don't know, I'm just spit balling here. Eric Nies maybe?

I don't toss around the term "ape shit" without some serious consideration, but I'm going to come right out and say it. People go "ape shit" for "Breaking Bad". So people are probably dry humping their meth dealers over the news that Dean Norris has joined the cast of Ridley Scott's "The Counselor." no word on what his role will be (I'm guessing actor), but the film is about a lawyer who tries his hand at the drug game with not so sexy results.

In Real People News: 

A Georgia man is recovering, and a few bucks richer, after he got drunk and bet his friends he could light his head on fire. He won the bet. You see what I'm getting at here now right?

Well this is a new one. A Illinois man is in trouble for apparently exposing a group of kids to mercury after he tried to hide a broken bottle that contained 40 pounds of the deadly chemical in a sandbox. I've read the article four times and honestly I still can't figure out why he thought this was a good idea.

Trailers: Oren Peli's "The River", coming up quick

Oren Peli, the man who masterminded the "Paranormal Activity" series, debuts an ambitious new TV show this coming Tuesday night on ABC. Looks intriguing, the big question being how long can they keep the show on the rails given the gimmicky nature of the story. Thankfully I still have a few days left to find ABC on my TV. Can't remember the last show of theirs I actually watched.

Horror Headlines: Monday, January 30th, 2012

This morning on the way to work I saw a pile of old VHS tapes and a used rubber on the sidewalk. Not in the same pile, that would just be weird. Not that the two things being in separate piles isn't weird. Last week I saw two Sega Genesis' on the street. The point of this story is that someone who lives near me is having a crap load more fun then I am.

Eric Powell, creator of "The Goon" comic recently took to his blog to set the record straight on the current status of the big screen adaptation of the book. Despite rumblings around the net the movie is still very much going to happen and the production company behind it is currently looking for funding. I don't know if that means they're having bake sales or something but honestly that doesn't sound too good.

If you're as excited about ABC's "The River" as I am then you're honestly not that excited. It's on Tuesdays. I already have shows on Tuesdays. I'm not even sure I can work it into my schedule. The new website that just launched for it isn't really helping either. Sure it's all animated and crap and sure it's like a fun game but seriously, there's going to be DVR conflicts out the ying yang for this thing.

I love me some Linnea Quigley, I don't care what age. Alright that sounds kind of creepy but the news here is that the lipstick queen will be showing up in "1313: Cougar Cult". The film is set to go direct to DVD (shocker) on February 7th and revolves around a group of college guys who get a summer job working for three older women who actually turn into cougars. I think that's a pun, or a play on words, or a haiku.

I have no idea what these ramblings mean but Nicolas Cage wants to remake "The Wicker Man"... in Japan... and have "Ringu" director Hideo Nakata direct it... and have the main character be a ghost this time. No sarcastic comments here, folks. Someone needs to help this guy.

In Real People News: 

Ever wonder what happens when you're unconscious in a hospital? Well apparently in one Utah hospital what happens is you get some free oral sex. Weather you want it or not. But you know you wanted it. Sinner.

A homeless man has been rescued after he was stuck in mud for over three days near the Rio Grande. He then went to jail because he had a number of outstanding warrants. It's a happy ending.

Horror Headlines: Friday May 20th, 2011

I don't care how many love children Arnold Schwarzenegger has had, I want to see him in "Terminator 5". Burn an American flag while your soon to be ex-wife cries in the corner for all I care. But now it looks like Arnold is putting his comeback on hold because of his recent troubles with putting his bim bam inside the maids poom poom and we'll all have to wait to see him return as the great robot one. Be straight with me, "Last Action Hero 2" is never going to happen, is it!

The Israeli slasher flick "Rabies" is all the rage with the kids and now that it's been picked up for US distribution there's a new English version poster out on the town for viewing. Of course I have no idea what makes it an English version. There's no copy other than "Rabies" on it. Is that super English? Anyway the film is about a psycho who's loose in the woods and encounters a group of teenagers. In English!

The Jim Mickle directed vampire hunter apocalypse flick "Stake Land" has finally received a release date and the even better news is I'm going to tell you it. Get ready. Are you ready? It'll hit DVD and Blu-Ray on August 2nd! Kind of anticlimactic isn't it.

TV horror shows don't usually end up working out too well, I'm still waiting to find out who the killer was in "Happy Town", but god bless those nutty TV people because they keep trying. "The River" from Paranormal Activity creator Oren Peli has just picked up by ABC and now has a full trailer. The series will follow a family who goes into the Amazon to find their missing loved one who also happens to be a popular animal show host. If I was a betting man I'd put my money on the show being canceled before we find out what happened to him.

In Real People News: 

When I was in elementary school and I would bring in some candy for myself and the dumb ass teacher would always yell that if I didn't bring enough for everyone I couldn't have it myself. Well Mrs. Wilson here's a 7 year old in Pittsburgh who brought in heroin to his school and started handing it out to his fellow students. Hope you're happy you mean old witch! I blame you for the entire thing.

A Wisconsin man recently ate his 25,000th Big Mac after enjoying the delicious treat for close to 40 years, smashing a record that never existed to begin with. I congratulate the man for this feat but lets make one thing clear, if I had been keeping count I am 99% sure I passed 30K years ago.

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