Rabies

Horror Headlines: Wednesday May 15th, 2013

Does a "From Dusk Till Dawn" TV series that Robert Rodriguez will be heavily involved in sound awesome to you? I know me too! What if I told you it was going to be on Univision and I was 99% sure it'll be in Spanish? I know I don't know Spanish either but I watch the channel all the time to! I love their stripper/news anchors and the project is just getting off the ground so I think we have enough time to learn the language so we're all going to be good here.

Magnolia Pictures has done gone and picked up the rights to the Israeli film "Big Bad Wolves". The film is written and directed by Aharon Keshales tracks the lives of three men caught up in a series of brutal murders. Keshales also helmed 2010's underground hit "Rabies", which apparently had a lot of really attractive woman in it but also had subtitles so I'm still not sure what to do there.

Juan Carlos Fresnadillo , the guy who directed "28 Weeks Later", has been confirmed to direct "Villain", a new film about two brothers who find themselves lost in the woods. Shia LaBeouf is also set to star in the film and he knows robots so I think we got a winner on our hands here.

Olivia Wilde and Mark Duplass are set to start in a new horror flick from Lionsgate titled "Reawakening". The film focuses on a doctor who discovers how to bring people back to life and the events that follow after he uses it on his daughter. I'm sure there's awful results but if something like this ever comes to be I think we all know that Michael Douglas will be the first one on our lists to bring back to life. Miss you man.

In Real People News: 

Where do people accidentally shot their friends in the leg while waiting in line at Starbucks? You bet your sweet ass it's Florida.

Here's a woman who stabbed her boyfriend after he farted in her face during an argument. Yes also in Florida.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday February 26th, 2013

Did you see the 2011 Israeli film "Rabies"? Me either but some guys I know did and they liked it so that's pretty much an Oscar win in my book. Well the film's creators, Aharon Keshales and Navot Papushado, has set "Big Bad Wolves" as their next project with a 2013 release in mind. The film follows three men who are linked by a series of terrible murders. Kind of like a fun club or something. But without the fun. And no one wants to be in the club.

"The Last Exorcism Part II" may or may not turn out to be hot dookie but that doesn't mean that the folks behind the film can't come up with some pretty entertaining ways to promote the flick. Case in point, a pretty dandy prank they played on a number of beauty shop goers. Is it funny? Yes it is. Is there a chance any of these people will come back to the shop? No. No there isn't.

I think Hot Topic ruined "The Crow" for all of us so I don't think anyone is really excited about the remake that's been kicking around for some time now. But what if I were to tell you that James McAvoy is being tossed around as a possible lead for the film? Would that change your mind? He was good in "Wanted" right? No, you're right. This still sounds awful.

Kodi Smit-Mcphee, the annoying kid from "The Road" is going to be in "Rise of the Planet of the Apes". He may or may not play a monkey. Alright fine, he won't.

In Real People News: 

Remember residents of Florida. When you're fixin to make up a mess of waffles make sure you take your bullets out of the oven before you pre-heat it. Otherwise you're doggum foot gunna get shot off.

A PA woman is under arrest after she apparently attacked her boyfriend with a Playstation controller and a Furby. I had no idea they still made Furby's but then again what do I know. I'm not sitting in Pennsylvania arguing over who gets to make out with the cow first or whatever else they talk about there.

The Barrens (REVIEW)

Every year right before Halloween there seems to be a whole slew of unheralded horror releases that get dumped at your local video store, Red Boxes etc. They tend to come and go without much fanfare because they seem to be either extremely low quality or in this case, like “The Barrens,” films that just didn’t turn out quite right. So I guess you can look at these as last minute emergency rentals for people wanting to watch something scary on Halloween.

Horror Headlines: Friday May 20th, 2011

I don't care how many love children Arnold Schwarzenegger has had, I want to see him in "Terminator 5". Burn an American flag while your soon to be ex-wife cries in the corner for all I care. But now it looks like Arnold is putting his comeback on hold because of his recent troubles with putting his bim bam inside the maids poom poom and we'll all have to wait to see him return as the great robot one. Be straight with me, "Last Action Hero 2" is never going to happen, is it!

The Israeli slasher flick "Rabies" is all the rage with the kids and now that it's been picked up for US distribution there's a new English version poster out on the town for viewing. Of course I have no idea what makes it an English version. There's no copy other than "Rabies" on it. Is that super English? Anyway the film is about a psycho who's loose in the woods and encounters a group of teenagers. In English!

The Jim Mickle directed vampire hunter apocalypse flick "Stake Land" has finally received a release date and the even better news is I'm going to tell you it. Get ready. Are you ready? It'll hit DVD and Blu-Ray on August 2nd! Kind of anticlimactic isn't it.

TV horror shows don't usually end up working out too well, I'm still waiting to find out who the killer was in "Happy Town", but god bless those nutty TV people because they keep trying. "The River" from Paranormal Activity creator Oren Peli has just picked up by ABC and now has a full trailer. The series will follow a family who goes into the Amazon to find their missing loved one who also happens to be a popular animal show host. If I was a betting man I'd put my money on the show being canceled before we find out what happened to him.

In Real People News: 

When I was in elementary school and I would bring in some candy for myself and the dumb ass teacher would always yell that if I didn't bring enough for everyone I couldn't have it myself. Well Mrs. Wilson here's a 7 year old in Pittsburgh who brought in heroin to his school and started handing it out to his fellow students. Hope you're happy you mean old witch! I blame you for the entire thing.

A Wisconsin man recently ate his 25,000th Big Mac after enjoying the delicious treat for close to 40 years, smashing a record that never existed to begin with. I congratulate the man for this feat but lets make one thing clear, if I had been keeping count I am 99% sure I passed 30K years ago.

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