Sid Haig

Creature (REVIEW)

There’s a lot to be said about a movie that goes down the same path as dozens of other horror films and still manages to keep the viewer entertained. “Creature” happens to be one of those movies. It’s chock full of gore, a ridiculous back story, tons of nudity and Sid Haig. Within the first 10 minutes you’re seeing so many similarities to the “Hatchet” films that you start to get a little dizzy. The film does a good job of keeping you entertained though, seriously there’s a ton of nudity, and really only seems to fault when it tries to differentiate itself from the pack.

Trailers: "Devil in My Ride" sprang from my brain

I have literally wanted this to happen at every wedding I've ever been to. Sid Haig usually isn't there, but I agree with the filmmakers that it makes the fantasy even better. "Devil in My Ride" is hitting the festival circuit this summer.

Snapshots: Sid Haig fits right into "Lords of Salem"

A lot of Hollywood directors have their "stable" of go-to actors. For instance, Adam Sandler casts Rob Schneider in everything, presumably because they touched swords once at summer camp and he doesn't want him to tell anyone. Rob Zombie has gone in... a different direction. Creating his own traveling side-show of B movie actors who scare the shit out of me in real life. Does that translate to the big screen? Sometimes? Either way, he posted this pic of Sid Haig in "Lords of Salem" to his Facebook, and now I'm posting it here. Isn't the internet neat?

Horror Headlines: Wednesday November 9th, 2011

I have no idea why anyone would want to visit Russia when their greatest commodity is already dancing at Private Eyes up on 45th and 8th, but the movie "The Darkest Hour" tells the story of a group of travelers stuck in Moscow during an alien invasion. A new poster for the flick has popped up online and it looks like all hell is breaking loose in Mother Russia. I hope this doesn't make people lose their place in line for bread.

Everybody hates clowns. Unless they're slutty clowns on Halloween, most people are on board with that. But an undead clown, that changes everything. The movie is titled "Stitches" and it tells the tale of a clown who returns from the grave to take out his vengeance on a group of teenagers who caused his death some years ago. It's a horror comedy and it's British so that means there's going to be a lot of bad teeth gags and Spam jokes. I assume. Most of what I know about the UK comes from Austin Powers and Monty Python.

"Hatchet" director Adam Green has confirmed "Killer Pizza", a new romp about a teen who takes a summer job at a pizza parlor that turns out to be the front for a monster hunting agency. The good people at MGM will be putting out the film so it might actually have some money behind it. God willing that doesn't mean they'll leave out the Kane Hodder sex scene.

If there's one thing Rob Zombie's witch revenge flick "The Lords Of Salem" has been missing it's sex appeal. Well good news you ornery little skanks, Sid Haig has officially joined the project as one half of a witch hunting duo. Boner time!

In Real People News: 

I like it! A Colorado man when ape shit yesterday when his local Best buy ran out of "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3". The 31 year old became so upset that he threatened to shoot employees in the parking lot and blow up the store if they didn't get him his game. I hope they have Xbox in jail.

A threesome can ruin any relationship. Sure you want to see your wife go to sexy town with another woman now but once things start to actually happen you get to thinking about how this might effect the long term relationship. So it's understandable that this guy in Florida might have freaked out a little when his wife brought another women into the bedroom. What isn't understandable is that he took out his frustration on the two women by going all Ike Turner on them. That's going to probably cause more damage than the hot action.

Horror Headlines: Friday February 17th, 2011

For those of you who have been awaiting to release of "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 3D" get excited because it's only a month and a year away! The fun little flick that follows the two witch murders 15 years after their original story left off will begin filming soon and is set for a March 2nd 2012 release. Let's go camp out for tickets!

There's no arguing that Haylie Duff is in the top 2 of people's favorite Duff sisters and now she's signed up for "Home Invasion" which I assume will be direct to DVD and hurt your eyes. The movie follows two mothers who accidentally murder a home intruder and sign up for a support group to cope with their guilt. But wait a second, is the dead robber's girlfriend in the group too? She is, the imdb page say she is so it's no real surprise.

Two words my friends, dream cast. Sasha Grey, who gets spit roasted for money (look it up, just not at work) and Hailey Glassman who use to lay with Jon Gosselin (you should be ashamed if you look it up at work) has signed on for a new film from the writers of "Cabin Fever" titled "Hallow". Some good news though, filming will take place in Canada, where this kind of crap belongs.

A new clip of the low budget, surprise surprise, Sid Haig flick titled "Blood is Blood" has hit the tubes and it's hot to trot. I don't know what that means but I couldn't think of anything else. The movie revolves around a family who faces a monster on their way to New Orleans in a town where the beast is seen as a God.

In Real People News: 

How do you win a fight with parents who are saying you're showing too much cleavage at your kid's school? You whip out the puppies in front of the whole school and scream "What do you think of these jumbos now lady?!" The screaming part I made up but I assume it went something like that.

A whole gang load of controversy has come out of an off hand comment a police officer from Toronto made to a group of students. Apparently the offer said that women can avoid being sexually assaulted by not dressing like "sluts" and apparently that doesn't go over well with the group. I assume because everyone's definition of "slut" is different. Mine is pretty loose. Get it.

Horror Headlines: Monday February 14th, 2011

Carlos Fresnadillo, the guy who brought you "28 Weeks Later", my second favorite of all the "amount of time later" films, is now the latest name being bounced around to direct the on again off again "The Crow" reboot. Eric Draven is also being rumored to take the lead role but since nothing is confirmed I'd like to announce that I am officially the front runner to take the role.

A few years back I got all excited when I found a "Night of the Living Dead" remake done in 3D staring Sid Haid in Target. I bought it, brought it home and watched a big giant disappointing turd, in 3D. Well they made a sequel titled "Night of the Living Dead 3D: Resurrection" and Andrew Divoff has been confirmed as playing the lead in the film. Learn from my mistakes people.

Not going to lie, I thought "11-11-11" was the dumbest name for a movie ever but now there's a teaser for the film, which has yet to be completed, and it looks pretty damn creepy. It's also got giant shrubs trimmed into cool shapes and I'm a sucker for clever landscaping. I've never hidden that fact.

Get ready kids because March 5th "Re-Animator the Musical" hits Los Angeles. Not some crappy art student knock off either, Stuart Gordon is producing and directing the stage version and what's better is the theater has a splash zone. I assume that means blood might be flying and not that there's a dolphin show going on. Maybe a bloody dolphin show, that would be awesome. PETA would throw a fit though.

In Real People News: 

A 48 year old window washer in Florida is being brought up on charges after a woman caught him manhandling himself while doing his "job". Apparently the best thing he could come up with to say was "I'm almost done", which honestly could have meant a number of things at that point.

Germans, they're freakin nuts! They've got a cross eyed possum named Heidi that apparently can predict the Oscars. Of course the possum is going to be on "Jimmy Kimmel Show" so if you think about it there's a German cross eyed possum out there with a better life than most of us. Have fun crying yourself to sleep.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday October 24th, 2010

Here's some good news. Some jackass thought it would be a good idea to make a full length film based on the video for Michael Jackson's "Thriller" and now there's a bidding war going on. I hope this starts a trend, because I always wanted to see what happened to the couple in the "Take On Me" video. I hope those crazy kids got married.

Here's some hot new details on the story line for the next season of "True Blood". Cage fighters, crappy palm readers and me still feeling like less and less of a man with each passing episode.

Darren Aronofsky has set "Machine Man" as his next project. The movie will focus on a man with a talent for robotics who finds a way to upgrade his own body, with sexy results. Alright I don't know about that last part but if I was writing the script that's how it would go.

Karen Black, Sid Haig, Bai Ling and Traci Lords are set to star in a new horror flick titled "Go Straight to Hell". The movie will focus on the four strangers who have to confess the one sin they didn't repent for while on earth or be sent to hell. I'm just guessing Ling's has something to do with rolling around like a sex doll on TV and Lords' will most likely have to repent for that while underage porn thing.

In Real People News: 

A short clip from a 1928 Charlie Chaplin film has got the internerds all a buzz because there appears to be a women on a cell phone in one shot. Some say the women could actually be a time traveler while I'm just amazed people are still watching silent films. Hasn't anyone seen what awesome full color movies we have now days? With actual words?

I have no idea why you would set out to eat the same thing for two months but a man in Washington is already regretting his 60 day goal of eating nothing but potatoes after the first month. He should have chosen chicken McNuggets, I could eat those things for 4 months straight. They're so good!

On this day in history: 

1967 - Catholic priest Philip Berrigan and others of the Baltimore Four protest the Vietnam War by pouring blood on Selective Service records.

Retro Poster: "Spider Baby" (1968)

In writer and director Jack Hill's cult classic "Spider Baby", we are introduced to the three Merrye children, Elizabeth (Beverly Washburn), Virginia (Jill Banner) and Ralph (Sid Haig), who suffer from a genetic condition that causes its victims to mentally, socially and physically regress into primitive, murderous cannibals. Lon Chaney Jr. plays caretaker Bruno, who has managed to keep the children out of harms way and maintain the family secret.

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