Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 3D

Horror Headlines: Wednesday April 6th, 2011

Oh boy oh boy! "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 3D" is just 9 years away from hitting theaters, give or take 8 years, and today we've got our first look at pictures from the set. At least I think they're from the set. It's either the set or Germany, I still can't tell. Wait it's being filmed in Germany? This worked out perfectly!

Christopher Nolan has confirmed that next installment in the Batman franchise, titled "The Dark Knight Rises" will be filmed in the fine city of Pittsburgh, PA. I'm pretty sure the move from Chicago is happening solely because Nolan saw that same Food Network show I did about that place in Pittsburgh that makes giant sandwiches with fries on them. If I made movies I would base my locations on places I want to eat too.

I haven't seen "Wolf Creek" but Greg McLean who directed it has dreamy eyes so I feel compelled to tell you about "Crawlspace", a new underground "hey what the hell is going on here" flick. Excited? No? What if I told you the movie stars a bunch of people you've never heard of? Still no huh... How about that weather?

"It's like 'An American Werewolf In Paris' meets 'Fight Club.'" Tell me more Katee Sackhoff! I like both of those movies so I'm going to love your movie "Growl" aren't I?! Wolves fighting each other in underground tournaments while Brad Pitt commands them all to do his bidding! I assume Brad Pitt will be in this movie Katee. You can't have Werewolf Fight Club without him!

In Real People News: 

Driving and talking on a cell phone, bad. Driving and shooting up meth? That's got to be super bad, right? Of course if you're in a rush what are you suppose to do. I'm sure this women from Oklahoma had a good reason.

Ever been at a party that's super fun and everyone's dancing around to the rock n roll music and then some prick comes along and starts puking everywhere and the party is ruined? Me too! Did you want to shoot that guy in the stomach 4 times? No? Well these teenagers in Arizona didn't think it was so insane so now who's the dumb one?!

Horror Headlines: Tuesday February 22nd, 2011

Rutger Hauer has landed the role of vampire hunter Van Helsing in upcoming Dario Argento film "Dracula 3D". That combined with his role in "Hobo With a Shotgun" has made Hauer the hottest new item in Hollywood. You'll see him on the cover of Bop! and Tiger Beat next month. The girls are going gaga for him.

Rob Zombie recently sat down to discuss his next project titled "Lords of Salem" saying it's the "bleakest of all my films". He goes on to state that the "Blob" remake is no longer happening with him at least and that he won't be touching another remake for a while. Seems he's found there's no real winning with horror fans when it comes to remakes. Kind of makes us sounds like jerks, which is true but still it doesn't have to be said. I have feelings too, Rob!

Australia seems like a happy fun loving place with their Kangaroos and Vegemite but I'm here to tell you they're a bunch of sickos. Case in point is the trailer for the new flick "Bad Behavior" which has a kind of "Clockwork Orange" type vibe to it. Meaning if "Clockwork Orange" had a bald fat man vomiting blood on a women, which I'm 99% sure it didn't.

With its release being only a year away we're all getting really excited for "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters". Did I mention it's going to be in 3D? Anyway Ingrid Bolsø Berdal is the latest witch to be cast in the flick and I assume that means she will in fact be hunted. Of course she should be hunted in real life also, never trust anyone with one of those o's with a line in it in their name. 9 times out of 10 they're complete pricks.

In Real People News: 

A town in Australia (I told you they're nuts) has decided to kick out 22,000 grey headed flying foxes, aka giant freakin bats, from the national botanical gardens. Where the bats will go no one really knows but I hope it isn't into my apartment complex. We just got rid of our possum problem.

A family in Egypt has gone all out with their love for social networking by naming their newborn baby Facebook. This sounds adorable now but just thing of how pissed this kid would have been if he was born 10 years ago and was walking around named Friendster.

Horror Headlines: Friday February 17th, 2011

For those of you who have been awaiting to release of "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 3D" get excited because it's only a month and a year away! The fun little flick that follows the two witch murders 15 years after their original story left off will begin filming soon and is set for a March 2nd 2012 release. Let's go camp out for tickets!

There's no arguing that Haylie Duff is in the top 2 of people's favorite Duff sisters and now she's signed up for "Home Invasion" which I assume will be direct to DVD and hurt your eyes. The movie follows two mothers who accidentally murder a home intruder and sign up for a support group to cope with their guilt. But wait a second, is the dead robber's girlfriend in the group too? She is, the imdb page say she is so it's no real surprise.

Two words my friends, dream cast. Sasha Grey, who gets spit roasted for money (look it up, just not at work) and Hailey Glassman who use to lay with Jon Gosselin (you should be ashamed if you look it up at work) has signed on for a new film from the writers of "Cabin Fever" titled "Hallow". Some good news though, filming will take place in Canada, where this kind of crap belongs.

A new clip of the low budget, surprise surprise, Sid Haig flick titled "Blood is Blood" has hit the tubes and it's hot to trot. I don't know what that means but I couldn't think of anything else. The movie revolves around a family who faces a monster on their way to New Orleans in a town where the beast is seen as a God.

In Real People News: 

How do you win a fight with parents who are saying you're showing too much cleavage at your kid's school? You whip out the puppies in front of the whole school and scream "What do you think of these jumbos now lady?!" The screaming part I made up but I assume it went something like that.

A whole gang load of controversy has come out of an off hand comment a police officer from Toronto made to a group of students. Apparently the offer said that women can avoid being sexually assaulted by not dressing like "sluts" and apparently that doesn't go over well with the group. I assume because everyone's definition of "slut" is different. Mine is pretty loose. Get it.

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