dracula 3D

Episode 284 - "Dracula 3D"

alt

In which we subject ourselves to Argento's latest...

Direct Download (mp3) (right click and Save As)

Horror Headlines: Friday, December 16th, 2011

I've had a frozen pumpkin pie sitting in my freezer for over two years now and on Christmas I plan on finally eating it. There's a 75% chance I'll become violently ill, which is ok because I could stand to lose a few pounds. Either way I win.

"Gone" sounds like the worst idea for a movie ever imagined. A girl comes home to find her sister missing and is convinced the serial killer who kidnapped her 2 years ago has returned. The best ending for this would be that she just went out for ice cream. But hey, Amanda Seyfried is in it and there's some new posters with her on them. So we should probably see it. You know, to help the economy or whatever.

Dario Argento's "Dracula 3D" has got a new trailer today but I should warn you, it's chock full of spoilers. I should also warn you that it's a new Dario Argento movie so you know it's not good and stuff. I should also warn you that I get very emotional around the holidays so you may have to put up with some random sobbing over the next couple of weeks.

I'm going to come right out and say it, I find Reese Witherspoon adorable. She seems so nice and I'd let her babysit my child in a heartbeat. I know she'd be good at it. And now she's been cast in "The Devil's Knot". A film that sounds like a gay porn but is actually the true life story of The West Memphis Three, a story about 3 teens who were wrongly accused of the murder of three 8-year-old boys. I'm pretty sure this isn't a romantic comedy.

Hot diggity dog! Here's a couple of posters for "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter", a movie based on the book with a title that should give you a pretty good idea of what the movie is about. Did that sentence confuse you? It's like a strange riddle, isn't it? I wrote it and then fell to the floor and convulsed for about 15 minutes.

In Real People News: 

Two things you should never do at McDonald's. Fall asleep there and look at child pornography on your laptop. And for the love of god you should never do those two things together like this guy from Indiana. Of course you should probably never do that first one anywhere.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday February 22nd, 2011

Rutger Hauer has landed the role of vampire hunter Van Helsing in upcoming Dario Argento film "Dracula 3D". That combined with his role in "Hobo With a Shotgun" has made Hauer the hottest new item in Hollywood. You'll see him on the cover of Bop! and Tiger Beat next month. The girls are going gaga for him.

Rob Zombie recently sat down to discuss his next project titled "Lords of Salem" saying it's the "bleakest of all my films". He goes on to state that the "Blob" remake is no longer happening with him at least and that he won't be touching another remake for a while. Seems he's found there's no real winning with horror fans when it comes to remakes. Kind of makes us sounds like jerks, which is true but still it doesn't have to be said. I have feelings too, Rob!

Australia seems like a happy fun loving place with their Kangaroos and Vegemite but I'm here to tell you they're a bunch of sickos. Case in point is the trailer for the new flick "Bad Behavior" which has a kind of "Clockwork Orange" type vibe to it. Meaning if "Clockwork Orange" had a bald fat man vomiting blood on a women, which I'm 99% sure it didn't.

With its release being only a year away we're all getting really excited for "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters". Did I mention it's going to be in 3D? Anyway Ingrid Bolsø Berdal is the latest witch to be cast in the flick and I assume that means she will in fact be hunted. Of course she should be hunted in real life also, never trust anyone with one of those o's with a line in it in their name. 9 times out of 10 they're complete pricks.

In Real People News: 

A town in Australia (I told you they're nuts) has decided to kick out 22,000 grey headed flying foxes, aka giant freakin bats, from the national botanical gardens. Where the bats will go no one really knows but I hope it isn't into my apartment complex. We just got rid of our possum problem.

A family in Egypt has gone all out with their love for social networking by naming their newborn baby Facebook. This sounds adorable now but just thing of how pissed this kid would have been if he was born 10 years ago and was walking around named Friendster.

Horror Headlines: Thursday September 30th, 2010

Another 3D poster is available for your mind to be blown by for "Saw 3D" and this one has me a little confused. Are they saying that Jigsaw/John is some sort of Mega-Robot that's going to destroy us all? Man what an awesome twist that would be.

There's a new English sub-titled trailer for "Troll Hunter" available and I couldn't be more excited about it. Truth be told I didn't know the other trailers weren't in English but sometimes I get so excited about Trolls I black out. It happens.

There's a new trailer/interview with Dario Argento for his upcoming "Dracula 3D" out on the tubes. The thing kind of looks like his home videos from his summer trip to some spooky castles and by all accounts that may actually be true. I wonder if he hits Disneyworld, I'd love to see him on It's a Small World.

In Real People News: 

It's like I'm looking into my future. A 3 year old's birthday party ended abruptly recently when a beer soaked brawl broke out. God I can't wait to ruin my kid's memories like this someday.

On this day in history: 

1993 - A magnitude 6.4 earthquake struck southern India, killing an estimated 10,000 people.

Around the Web

Syndicate content

What's New?

So this one's quite the... head-scratcher...

Podcast

Let's talk about Ti West...

Podcast

Latest Reviews

Search

Around The Web