paranormal activity

Paranormal Activity 3 (REVIEW)

"Paranormal Activity 3" takes viewers back to see where the activity began.

After a legitimate breakout and a strong follow-up, it was safe to say that we're now stuck with "Paranormal Activity," for better or for worse. And while that type of success is usually a recipe for Hollywood studio scrimping and laziness, this series may mark one of the first instances where producers have managed to grow a series both in ambition and quality as it progresses.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday August 2nd, 2011

In the new action flick "Area", which has a new trailer, Samuel Jackson plays the mastermind behind an online gladiator show where folks can vote on whether contestants get to live or die. Yes this is pretty much the same thing as "The Running Man", "Death Race" and countless other flicks but those have all been missing one thing. That's right, Samuel Jackson doing the same "I'm a bad as" shtick he did almost 20 years ago in "Pulp Fiction". I know the rest of those movies are going to suck after this.

Against my better judgment I've been on board for the "Fright Night" remake since it was announced. You know me, I'm an optimist. And from the first few trailers and clips I've been pleasantly surprised that the flick doesn't look that bad but I also realized I hadn't seen much of Peter Vincent, the lovably old timey horror host from the original. Well here's a new clip which is chock full of Peter and can someone tell me who the hell this Russell Brand looking ass-clown is? Booo on your "Fright Night". Boo!

Ethan Hawke has signed on to play the lead in a new found footage movie from Jason Blum, the producer behind "Paranormal Activity" and it's sequel. The film will reportedly have a budget of only 5 million and Hawke will play a writer who investigates murders and discovers home video footage that helps to unravel the details of one grisly crime. Jason Blum will play a producer who keeps doing the same crap and makes millions off of it.

The much discussed Kevin Smith hate letter to the Midwest in video form "Red State" will finally find it's way onto DVD and Blu-Ray on October 18th and now there's a gaggle of new details emerging around the special features. Audio commentary with Smith, Smith's Sundance speech, a making of documentary, and deleted scenes and posters both introduced by Smith. Sounds like like a lot of exciting stuff but you should know that anything including Smith is going to mostly be him shoveling Ring Dings into his giant gullet and rambling about being "underground" and "indie" because he charges people 70 bucks to see his movies.

In Real People News: 

A Louisiana man is under arrest after he passed out drunk in his car and decided to let his 8 year old son take over the driving duties on their trip from Texas to Mississippi. Not going to lie this sounds more like something that deserves a slap on the wrist. I mean the guy did find a designated driver.

And here's a video of a nice couple who was driving down the highway when out of nowhere a giant freakin snake crawled out from under their hood and started riding on their windshield. Mother of god snakes are the most awful creatures ever imaged.

Horror Headlines: Friday July 29th, 2011

Kevin Bacon has signed on to the big screen adaptation of "R.I.P.D.", a comic book that follows two undead cops who still walk the beat. Bacon looks to be playing a villain in the film and Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds have already been confirmed as the cop duo. Bacon in between Reynolds and Bridges? Sounds delicious.

It's about time a horror movie was set in Poland. Yes "Haunted Poland", which has a new trailer, looks like it's a pretty bad rip off of "Paranormal Activity" and yes it looks like it had a budget of about 9 bucks but still. Poland! Land of kielbasa and perogies. Exporters of some of the finest strippers ever to take the stage. If I knew their national anthem I'd be singing it right now.

Concept art for Robert Rodriguez flick "Fire and Ice" has hit the tubes and it looks like it's taken from the most bad ass white trash van in 1984. Based on the artwork of Frank Frazetta the film's synopsis gave me a headache when I tried to comprehend it but from what I can understand there's some guys who fight glaciers and have to find some sort of fire thing and then get help from a wolf. I'm way off I'm sure but the way I explain it sounds pretty awesome so they should make a movie out of that too.

Finally the movie we've all been waiting for will get its DVD on August 30. I'm speaking of course about "Lizard Boy" the heartwarming tale about a doctor who fuses human DNA with a lizard and raises the freak outcome as his son... only to find he's developed a pretty hefty taste for human blood. What, no Blu-Ray version? How am I suppose to watching this when it isn't in pure crystal clear HD?

In Real People News: 

This is very very wrong but I can't say I'm not a little impressed by the guy who put hidden cameras in a Florida apartment being rented by two Bulgarian women in their 20s. Ya know what, I'm not sure if I believe this story. I'm going to need to see this footage before I can make any judgments.

A woman in South Carolina is currently facing obscenity charges due to the fact that she was driving around town with a plastic ball sack hanging off her truck. The case is currently in front of a judge and honestly I've never wanted to be called for jury duty until now. I'd probably be dismissed for giggling like a school girl though.

Trailers: Paranormal Activity 3 Official Trailer!

As cynical as I am about this franchise, I've got to admit that "Paranormal Activity 2" was way better than it had any right to be. They've chosen to continue with the same story for this film, going with a prequel setting complete with "shot on VHS" footage. How retro. Can the third film continue the success of the first two?

Horror Headlines: Thursday September 16th, 2010

Alright this one is pretty exciting. Carl Ellsworth has signed on to write a live action in your face version of "Goosebumps". For those of you who don't remember the original "Goosebumps" TV series back in the 90's it was fairly awesome and scared my over sized teenage boxers off.

"Paranormal Activity: Tokyo Night" is an actual movie apparently and is currently in development. Sounds ridiculous I know but it's given me a great idea for a movie called "Paranormal Activity: New Jersey Nights". It will just be a video of me sitting in my living room, playing Call of Duty and shoving Cheetos into my mouth for two hours. You'll laugh and you'll cry... mostly cry.

In Real People News: 

Police in Michigan are on the look out for a man who robbed a convenience store wearing a Darth Vader mask. He was only wearing the mask? Not the entire outfit? You deserve to go to jail for half-assing this whole thing buddy.

On this day in history: 

1776 - British forces occupied New York City during the American Revolution.

Horror Headlines: Friday September 3rd, 2010

The guys behind both "Paranormal Activity" films have plans to create a show for the small screen in the near future. The show will be called "Paranormal Activities" and will feature real ghosts doing everyday fun tasks just like us livin' folk. Alright that's a lie, but they are working on a show.

Much to my surprise "Let Me In" has received a big old R rating from the MPAA. Apparently the movie's going to feature "strong bloody horror violence, language and a brief sexual situation". Brief sexual situation? So much for being toned down.

Are Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Scarlett Johansson attached to the big screen adaptation of "Breathers: A Zombie's Lament"? Sounds iffy but I've actually read the book and I feel it's important for my self esteem to report on movies that have to do with the dozen or so books I've read over the years. Me read pretty one day!

Liam Neeson is all fired up and ready to star in "The Grey". The film focuses is on a a group of pipeline workers who come in contact with a pack of wild wolves after their plane crashes in Alaska. Liam Neeson, he's what's for dinner.

In Real People News: 

Over 300 goats have been killed in the state of Puebla down in Mexico and shepherds are pissed! The prime suspect in the crime? Chupacabra! Holy crap I love Chupacabra and everything it does. I want one as a pet.

On this day in history: 

1939 - Britain and France declared war on Germany, two days after the Nazi invasion of Poland.

Paranormal Entity (REVIEW)

Late last year the horror world became abuzz with the release of “Paranormal Activity”. Shot completely in POV style, the movie captured the attention of a lot of movie watchers and scared a good many of them. Naturally, when a horror movie comes along that generates a ton of buzz and box office cash, The Asylum is going to pay close attention and try and spin off their own feature. Thus is the story behind their film Paranormal Entity. Absolutely nothing is changed here as far as what counts.

Horror Headlines: Friday March 12th, 2010

So we have two more weeks until Horrorhound Weekend. Did you get your tickets yet? All of our various cliques are coming together and making our plans, from a Friday night karaoke bash where I plan on starting with Neil Diamond's “America” to Saturday's “Cheeseburger in Horrorhound Weekend-idise”, where I will intrusively push my love of Jimmy Buffett on everyone. Horror is great and all, but c'mon, even you gotta admit it gets old fast.

After the success of the ultra-tepid and mega-overrated “Paranormal Activity”, Paramount is hoping that lightning will strike twice by starting Insurge Pictures, an in-house effort that will distribute films budgeted under $100,000. While this sounds awesome at first glance, we all know this'll just become another home for Hollywood vanity project for the likes of Steven Soderburgh and George Clooney to “get back to their roots” by using digital cameras to make scathing indictments of the US military complex starring porn stars and cameos from former teen-stars trying to shed their pretty boy image. On the plus side, you might get to see James Van Der Beek's dong.

Eric Roberts has signed the dotted line to star in the SyFy movie “Sharktopus”. I know that I've been a champion of these movies in the past, but, after the release of “Mega-Shark vs. Giant Octopus”, I find it hard to give a damn anymore. These movies used to be reviled and spit on, which, for me, added to their charm, but, for some reason, with the release of “MS v. GO”, they became a part of the hipster culture and they became “cool” bad movies. “Hey bro, I can't make it to our Brooklyn-based indie art-rock collective band meeting tonight! SyFy has Cyndi Lauper is taking on a Spider-Megalodon!” (And, even more, am I the only one who feels like a total dick actually writing “SyFy”? That channel has gotten so pretentious I'm surprised they haven't done a Phillip K. Dick miniseries yet, with a soundtrack by Joanna Newsom.)

In Real People News: 

According to a recent study, huffing—the act of inhaling vapors to get high— has surpassed "street drugs", like marijuana, among 12-year-olds. Remember that story last week about the small condoms for 12-year-olds? WHAT THE FUCK ARE 12-YEAR-OLDS DOING? When I was 12, I had just discovered masturbation by rubbing my dick vigorously against the rim of the tub. Sex and huffing were a looooong way off.

Devotees of a Miami man claiming to practice a traditional African religion say they had to ingest the mucus of a Giant African Snail that sickened them. Call me crazy, but I like to worship a God that doesn't make me drink snail mucus to prove my love to Him. I'm old-fashioned like that.

A Mexican military helicopter was spotted hovering over a South Texas neighborhood. While many residents are wondering why the military would cross into our country, I'm wondering how they were able to stuff 23 soldiers, a crate of chickens, a taco-stand and a goat named Jorge into one helicopter.

On this day in history: 

In 1930, renowned pussy Mahatma Gandhi leads a 200-mile march to the sea to protest the British monopoly on salt. This was followed a week later by a swim in the Ganges to protest the high price of Mrs. Dash.

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