the ring

Sadako 3d (Ringu 5) (REVIEW)

I've got a lot of nostalgia for movies like "The Ring" and "The Grudge." I didn't really grow up with horror movies, so at the time these came out, "horror" basically meant: "I Know What You Did Last Summer" movies, the later and more embarrassing sequels of "Halloween," and a whole host of "Scream" knock-offs.

Horror Headlines: Monday, April 30th, 2011

It looks like everyone's favorite sailor boy Sam Raimi has been confirmed to produce the upcoming "Poltergeist" remake. This puts an end to the rumors that he would be taking the director's chair for the film. But if not him then who!? And why do we call him "sailor boy"? It's almost like I'm making all of this up or something.

Fans of "The Ring" will be excited, shocked, disgusted and/or neutral on the news that there may be another film in the works. According to Paramount Film Group president Adam Goodman there's an idea being tossed around that would see the next installment in the film series going the found footage route. Ya know, cause why not?

I don't want to say this is the worst news day ever but I'm about to give you an update on casting for "Wrong Turn 5". Ready? Simon Ginty, Oliver Hoare, Amy Lennox, Paul Luebke, Duncan Wisbey, Kyle Redmond-Jones and Peter Brooke are all in. I honestly have no idea who any of these people are.

Blah blah blah Asylum is making a "Battleship" rip off called "American Battleship" and Universal is pissed about it and going to sue. They're just mad because they didn't think of putting Carl Weathers in his Apollo Creed shorts on the poster. Ya know, cause it's a lot cheaper to get Carl Weathers than Rihanna. I just assume.

In Real People News: 

An Indiana man is under arrest after he forced another man to moonwalk at gun point. Wasn't this in a movie? I feel like it was Gene Wilder holding the gun. That can't be right though. Someone help me out here. It wasn't "See No Evil, Hear No Evil" was it?

It's got to be a fun night for a cop when you're called to a trailer court because a shotgun just went off and there's a guy who calls himself BeeSting wrestling with a resident. Beats traffic duty I guess.

Trailers: "Ringu" is back, J-Horror cycle will never die

I always thought the American remake of "Ringu" was the better film when compared to the original. It's an opinion I realize isn't widely shared in the greater horror community, but then again, being a contrarian is kind of my thing, I'm ok with it. Anyway, Japan has decided to resurrect the series with "Sadako 3D", named after the original film's antagonist. She was by far the scariest thing about that original, so let's hope they bring back the original actress. I didn't feeling like sifting through terrible Babelfish translations all day to find out if they did.

Horror Headlines: Monday May 23rd, 2011

A new poster for John Carpenter's new flick "The Ward" has come out and don't even bother clicking the link because I'm going to explain it so well you won't even need to see it. Remember that scene in "Labyrinth" Jennifer Connelly falls down the hole and all the hands hold her up? Well it's just like that but with Amber Heard in a short skirt. See! No need to look at it now.

You know what "The Ring" was missing? An all female Japanese pop group! I know it's so obvious now that I've said it. Luckily the movie "White" is here to fix that with a gaggle of new photos and a full out trailer. The movie revolves around the pop group Pink Dolls (I think that's a pun) and the strange events that happen to them after they discover a mysterious video. Sounds super spooky and as a bonus, dance numbers!

Confused as to why there's a "Carrie" remake in the works? Well so is Stephen King. In a recent interview with Entertainment Weekly he asked the bold question "why, when the original was so good?". The remake is set to stay truer to King's original book but by his own admission the movie version was actually scarier. He then went on to ask "what's the deal with airplane food?" but by then I assume the interviewer had walked out.

While we all wait for a new "Child's Play" movie to happen the good people at TikGames have decided to bring Chucky to your console in the form of a new video game they hope to have out this fall. The game will apparently be the original story and allow players to control the little killer himself. Will it be awful? Probably. Will I pay money for it? You bet your sweet ass I will.

In Real People News: 

Police in Ohio are on the look out for a bank robber sporting a mullet who is apparently responsible for at least two robberies and countless broken hearts. Serious hold up in the front, party in the back. Of course I'm 99% sure that 3 out of 4 men in Ohio have mullets so narrowing this down might not be so easy after all.

Well the rapture came and went without so much as a Billy Crystal public stoning but tossing the words "zombie apocalypse" in a headline about hurricane season drove so much traffic to the CDC's website that it actually crashed. Unless the CDC's website crashing was the rapture. I thought there was suppose to be fire shooting out of the sky but a server reboot can be pretty awful too.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday April 27th, 2010

The 3-D craze has donned its leather jacket and pointed its motorcycle towards the ramp as Paramount Pictures has announced plans to make a new "Ring" movie, this time in 3-D. David Loucka has already been tapped to pen the script in what Paramount hopes is a reinvention of the franchise.

"Scream" scribe Kevin Williamson put to rest the rumors that Jamie Kennedy will be returning for "Scream IV". "We're not that universe where you can bring people back from the dead. That would be just a cheat." Good to see that there's still some integrity in Hollywood!

While not really news in and of its self, be sure to keep your eyes peeled for this sweet "Nightmare on Elm Street" popcorn bucket when you head out to catch the remake this weekend!

In a recent press junket for his latest feature "Robin Hood", director Ridley Scott let slip that the both of the upcoming "Alien" prequels will be released in 3D. If you're paying attention, you'll notice that I used the word 'both'. Scott also let it be known that he is planning on two prequels for the franchise.

"Machete" is no longer the only feature to spawn from the fake trailers shown in 2007's "Grindhouse". The next trailer to be stretched to full length will be "Hobo With a Shotgun" starring none other that Rutger Hauer.

In Real People News: 

Christina Cifaldi has a beef against Wal Mart's clothing lines as she has been arrested for $163 worth of clothes, taking them into the fitting room and urinating all over them. It was pretty easy for officials to deduce who the culprit was as Cifaldi had left her wallet and drivers license in the fitting room next to her stinky leavings.

A Brazilian woman decided to go for a drive after one too many drinks, and ended up causing the death of another woman and her unborn child. When the drunken 24 year old tried to leave the scene of the accident, a group of onlookers drug her from her car and shot her five times for her crime.

On this day in history: 

4977 BC - God creates the universe, according to calculations by mystic and part-time astronomer Johannes Kepler.

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