Prometheus

Wild Speculation: Who are Ridley Scott's Space Jockeys?

iO9 has a great article about Ridley Scott and his "Space Jockeys" (pictured above). They made their first mysterious appearance in "Alien" (1979), and are starting to pop up in promotional materials for "Prometheus". So since this is the internet, they decided to dig up every reference that exists to the creatures to try and make sense of how they fit into the universe.

Snapshots: "Prometheus" is just messing with us at this point...

I mean, am I still supposed to pretend this isn't an "Alien" prequel? If I am that's fine, I just want to make sure I'm playing by the rules... (Release date: June 8th, 2012)

Horror Headlines: Tuesday, December 20th, 2011

Before you read today's news I should probably clarify that I am not into tall men or old dudes. Jessica Biel is good looking sure but there's something about her face that kind of throws me off. What can I say, I'm a hard man to please. Uncomfortable yet? Wait till you get to the part where I accuse you of being a jerk because I like "The Big Lebowski".

Get excited folks because there's a now video online with some hot behind the scenes action from the upcoming "Alien" prequel "Prometheus". Now get depressed because there's not one freakin alien to be seen in the clip. There is a lot of Ridley Scott though. So if you're into old guys this video will really do it for you. You should also check out "Cocoon". Tons of old guys in their bathing suits. I won't judge.

"Paranormal Activity 3" is headed to DVD on January 24th and today we've got a stockpile of features that are going to be included. I realize stockpile is not the right word but it sounds really cool so lets just go with it. Both the DVD and Blu-Ray will feature the theatrical and unrated versions of the film and the later will also give a gaggle of additional clips that didn't make it into the film. Alright that's not really much at all is it. This would be the worst stockpile ever imagined if it really was one.

I like Dennis Quaid but I have a tendency to mistake him for Jeff Bridges who I really like, mostly because he was in "The Big Lebowski" and that movie was awesome and I love it. I know I know I'm a hipster prick who references The Dude at least once a day. Well 'Eff you buddy I saw it in the theaters opening weekend so get off my back. Man you're such a jerk sometimes. Here's the trailer for "Beneath The Darkness", which stars Quaid as a local funeral home director with a dark secret. Wow it took us a while to get here didn't it?

And if you're into Jessica Biel, which I'm assuming everyone who isn't into old guys is, here's some new shots from her upcoming flick "The Tall Man". The film is about a small town haunted by the urban legend of a "Tall Man" who kidnaps children. So today we've had old guys, tall men and Jessica Biel. If my news didn't get you all hot and bothered there's a good chance you're already dead.

In Real People News: 

I've always wondered what the shipping costs would be if you die somewhere far from home. I wonder this because there's a good chance I will drop dead in the middle of the World Showcase in EPCOT and have to be FedExed back to New Jersey. Well the costs must be high because here's a story about a guy who opted to drive 225 miles back to Canada after his wife died on their US vacation.

Here's a story about some sort of nuclear waste that is growing and might be alive... or something. Honestly I'm confused as hell by the article but I'm pretty sure the gist is that we're all going to die at the hands of a toxic zombie.

Horror Headlines: Thursday, December 15th, 2011

I love me the holidays! But if there's one thing that really irks me it's those giant inflatable lawn decorations that have become so popular in the last 5 years. I feel like everyone who has those thinks they've invented some amazing decoration for their front lawn that we're all suppose to look at in amazement when in reality they just went down to Target and paid 75 bucks for a giant Snow Globe with a Santa trapped inside.

I'm going to go on record as saying I am actually looking forward to seeing "The Darkest Hour". Yes it comes out on Christmas and there isn't a chance in hell I will see it until months after it comes out on DVD but that doesn't make me any less excited to see the teens trapped in Russia because of an alien invasion flick. Look at these new photos. Just look at em! Kids all running around in tank tops fighting aliens. Russia ain't so bad, man! Alright you got me, I'm still trying to hide the anger about these stupid lawn ornaments.

Color me confused but it looks like Darren Lynn Bousman's end of the world but Jesus is cool flick "11-11-11" if going to be getting a wide release on February 14, 2012. That's right the film specifically tied to the date 11/11/11 only got a limited release back in November so why the hell not shoot for Valentines Day in 2012. It's the perfect date movie for that special girl you want to break up with.

Check it son! The First poster for Ridley Scott's "Prometheus", the much anticipated prequel to his beloved "Alien" films. Yes there's no aliens to be seen in the poster but no one goes to see these movies for the aliens. That's a well known fact. People go to see the acting. And to see the girl who we say is hot but in the back of our minds secretly question if they were once a man in their skivvies. The aliens are really just a time filler.

I don't know what it is about Christopher Meloni but anytime I see him in a comedy I think he's awesome and anytime I'm flipping the channels and see him on "Law & Order" I want to punch him in the face. It's a crazy mixed up world, huh? But now he's been confirmed for season 5 of "True Blood" as a ye old vampire who controls the fate of our merry group of blood suckers. I'm thinking he's probably not going to be very funny in that role.

In Real People News: 

Wow, you'd think there is some sort of family bond on Thanksgiving but apparently not with this family in Texas who ratted out their 23 year old relative after they caught her having sex with a 15 year old boy. It's the Holiday's folks, everyone gets a pass on one illegal act.

And if you needed more proof that everyone from New Zealand is going to hell here's a new billboard that's popped up in a few locations there showing the Virgin Mary holding a pregnancy test. Just in time for the holidays.

Horror Headlines: Thursday July 7th, 2011

Alexandra Daddario has been in a bunch of movies I've never seen and has devil eyes. That's a fact. And now she's been cast as the female lead in the next chapter in the book of Leatherface currently titled "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D". Set to be released next year on October 5th. Teen heartthrob Bill Moseley has already been confirmed for the flick and I assume having his hot ass on the cast list is what sealed the deal for Daddario. I smell an on-set romance in the works.

Speaking of the Mose-one (I don't know what that means either) it looks like Bill Moseley, Leslie Easterbrook and Ashley Laurence have all be confirmed for a new thrilled titled "Deception". The film follows the son and daughter who begin to be terrorized by a killer 20 years after their parents were mysteriously murdered. Ruben Rodriguez, who you probably know from his "Miscellaneous Crew" credit on "The Hustler's Last Score" is set to direct.

A couple shots from the set of "Prometheus", the upcoming "Alien" prequel movie, have hit the tubes and they're chalk full of H.R. Gieger goodness. And by that I of course mean it looks like the posters on the wall of a D&D addicts wall in his parent's trailer circa 1987. Fun fact here, every time I've read the name "Gieger" lately I've mistaken it for "Ginger" and I've been really confused about why the new "Alien" movie focuses on pasty red headed kids.

The long discussed remake of Chan-wook Park's "Oldboy" had looked to be all but dead but it looks like things might be moving forward after all and none other than Spike Lee might be taking the director's chair. Fan boys of the original will throw a fit I'm sure but keep in mind that Spike Lee directed "Summer of Sam" and a bunch of other awesome movies and he's from America therefore his version will not be anti-freedom like the original. That's Social Studies 101 folks. Read a book.

In Real People News: 

I prey the wife never reads this one because I can guarantee it'll result in me never being allowed out of the house alone with my future child. A 25 year old man in Florida apparently forgot his baby on the sidewalk after a night of boozing. I know the question you want to ask and the answer is yes, he has a faux-hawk.

This seems like an honest mistake. A 56 year old man in Oregon mistook his older brother for a cougar and shot him in the arm. It wasn't till he mounted his bro on the wall that he realized his mistake. I kid of course. People from Oregon don't mount their dead cougars. They have sex with them.

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