The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D

Horror Headlines: Wednesday October 19th, 2011

What the world needs now is more graphic novel adaptations. Now more than ever. So thank the good people at Solipsist Films who are making a big screen adaptation of the GN (let's call them GN's from now on, it sounds hip) "In The Dust". The GN tells the story of a group of families being attacked by vampires in 1930's Chicago. The world also needs more vampire movies but that goes without saying.

There hasn't been a ton of BUZZ around "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D" (see what I did there) but today we've got our first poster from the flick. And while I don't think the poster is going to cause much BUZZ on the tubes I sure am glad I SAW it. Oh man I'm on a roll today. A chainsaw roll! That makes no sense I know but let's just go with it.

If there's been a question on my mind since the announcement of "Piranha 3DD" it's how the hell were they going to bring back Ving Rhames? Well today we've got a teaser for the flick and we find out. I don't want to spoil it but it's pretty awesome. There's also a ton of boobs. It's a good day.

You don't need to know what "Black Butterfly" is about. You just need to know that Nicolas Cage has signed on to the film and that it will be awesome. Alright fine! The movie's about a drunk author who takes in a hobo in the hopes of finding inspiration. Man I can't wait to see how they make this movie awesome because that story sounds terrible.

In Real People News: 

Did you see "The Town"? Man it was pretty great. Ben Affleck has officially warmed his way back into my heart. I forgive him for all that J-Lo crap. A group of Brooklyn fellas must have liked it too because they've been arrested on suspicion of burglarizing 62 small businesses and using the tactics used in the movie as their inspiration. It's that good!

I'm no one to judge people for their turn-ons but I've always made it a point to ask someone before I go around licking their knees and face. But maybe things are done differently in Arizona. I don't know. I'm old fashioned.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday July 13th, 2011

Christopher Lloyd has signed on to play an occult shop owner in the upcoming 3D Canadian indie horror flick "Dead Before Dawn". April Mullen, who looks like she smells like sunshine, is the director behind the project that currently filming in Niagara Fall, Ontario. Because no one does anyone on the U.S. side of Niagara Falls. It's the one and only thing Canada has on us.

Sue Rock, who according to IMDB I have seen in a few movies before, is the latest name to be added to the ever growing "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D" cast list. She'll play someone I'm guessing gets killed within the first 20 minutes so I'm not really going to bother explaining the role. In short the only reason I'm mentioning this is when I first read about this I thought the headline said "The Rock" was joining the cast. Which got me really excited and I was already typing the post up.

Yesterday the internet was all ablaze with the exciting news that "Evil Dead 4" was slowly rolling into production. And now to stoke the fire in your loins just a little more the mighty Bruce Campbell has commented on the status. According the him that project is very much real, very much scary and very much a remake. Oh boy... remake. I want to believe every word Bruce Campbell says so I'm keeping the faith here. Please don't hurt me, Bruce. I'm not sure my tender heart could take that.

I'm not 100% convinced that Bill Moseley didn't fight in the civil war and for that reason I am not convinced that the new horror flick "Exit Humanity" isn't a documentary. Of course I don't believe I remember anything about zombies being a large problem in the post civil war era but to be honestl I wasn't very good in social studies. In any case there's a new trailer for the flick so you can make your own conclusions.

In Real People News: 

Well this is a creative 'eff you to the former love of your life now isn't it. A Washington man is under arrested after breaking into his ex-girlfriends house and shaving her head. Of course he reportedly tried to shove her into a dryer the week before this so a shaved head sounds alright in comparison.

And you might want to sit down for this one fellas. It's a story about a women who drugged her soon to be ex-husband, tied him to the bed, cut off his junk and then tossed it into the garbage disposal. But in all fairness she did call 911 for him after. Evens out I think.

Horror Headlines: Thursday July 7th, 2011

Alexandra Daddario has been in a bunch of movies I've never seen and has devil eyes. That's a fact. And now she's been cast as the female lead in the next chapter in the book of Leatherface currently titled "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D". Set to be released next year on October 5th. Teen heartthrob Bill Moseley has already been confirmed for the flick and I assume having his hot ass on the cast list is what sealed the deal for Daddario. I smell an on-set romance in the works.

Speaking of the Mose-one (I don't know what that means either) it looks like Bill Moseley, Leslie Easterbrook and Ashley Laurence have all be confirmed for a new thrilled titled "Deception". The film follows the son and daughter who begin to be terrorized by a killer 20 years after their parents were mysteriously murdered. Ruben Rodriguez, who you probably know from his "Miscellaneous Crew" credit on "The Hustler's Last Score" is set to direct.

A couple shots from the set of "Prometheus", the upcoming "Alien" prequel movie, have hit the tubes and they're chalk full of H.R. Gieger goodness. And by that I of course mean it looks like the posters on the wall of a D&D addicts wall in his parent's trailer circa 1987. Fun fact here, every time I've read the name "Gieger" lately I've mistaken it for "Ginger" and I've been really confused about why the new "Alien" movie focuses on pasty red headed kids.

The long discussed remake of Chan-wook Park's "Oldboy" had looked to be all but dead but it looks like things might be moving forward after all and none other than Spike Lee might be taking the director's chair. Fan boys of the original will throw a fit I'm sure but keep in mind that Spike Lee directed "Summer of Sam" and a bunch of other awesome movies and he's from America therefore his version will not be anti-freedom like the original. That's Social Studies 101 folks. Read a book.

In Real People News: 

I prey the wife never reads this one because I can guarantee it'll result in me never being allowed out of the house alone with my future child. A 25 year old man in Florida apparently forgot his baby on the sidewalk after a night of boozing. I know the question you want to ask and the answer is yes, he has a faux-hawk.

This seems like an honest mistake. A 56 year old man in Oregon mistook his older brother for a cougar and shot him in the arm. It wasn't till he mounted his bro on the wall that he realized his mistake. I kid of course. People from Oregon don't mount their dead cougars. They have sex with them.

Horror Headlines: Thursday June 30th, 2011

Warner Bros. looking to be courting the ever so dreamy Johnny Depp to take the lead in the big screen adaptation of Glen Gold's book "Carter Beats the Devil". The story, which is a fictional biography about a magician who somehow gets involved with the death of President Warren G. Harding during his long career. I hope that magician had dreamy eyes in the book, cause there's no hiding those beautiful peepers of Depp's. Am I right? Am I? Let's move on.

Fresh out of jail writer Roger Avary has been hired to adapt William Faulkner's 1931 novel "Sanctuary" for the big screen. For those of you not familiar with the book I'll go ahead and say there's no way in hell my explanation would clear anything up so let's just say it's chock full of murder, pervs and violence. I think there might be some animal sex too. I'm not positive. Let's just say there is. Better safe than sorry.

Here's something I never thought I'd type. The trailer for the new MTV show looks pretty decent. I know it's like crazy upside down day. But "Death Valley" has some potential. It's a fake cops type show that follows a special until of the LAPD as they battle zombies, werewolves, vampires and god knows what else. Some decent talent in there also. I think I need to go lie down.

Yesterday we talked about some details about the new "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D" film and from the overflow of comments it looks like you were all pretty excited. So today I bring you a release day. Yes there's no new "Saw" this year so Texas 3D is picking up the torch and getting an October 5th release date in theaters. And yes I know I've called it "Leatherface 3D" also but you know what? So has every other site of the god damn internet so get off my back.

In Real People News: 

Expose yourself to an entire wedding from a 4th floor window once and that's just good plain fun but doing it multiple times, well that'll get you tossed in jail. Of course I assume people exposing themselves is common practice for a wedding in Pennsylvania. The Amish ya know... those sick SOBs.

Oh why can't every day be mother's day? Here's a story about a woman who along with a friend decided the best way to feed their meth habit was by pimping out her 3 year old son. Then again I assume pimping out your child to feed your meth habit is common practice in Oklahoma. Sooners ya know... those sick SOBs.

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