christopher lloyd

Piranha 3DD (REVIEW)

Piranha 3DD

Let's deal with the question on everyone's mind right off the top: Would the sequel to 2010's well-regarded horror comedy "Piranha 3D" be able to match the disembodied male sex organ quotient of the original? Happily -- or perhaps unhappily, depending on your feelings -- the answer is yes, sweet lord yes!

Horror Headlines: Wednesday November 2nd, 2011

Some new artwork and an adorable featurette have popped up online for the A&E adaptation of Stephen King's "Bag Of Bones". The mini series tells the story of a grief stricken father dealing with the loss of his wife while dealing with a bitter custody battle. As you might expect the show takes place in Maine, which if you haven't visited before I suggest you drop what you're doing and head there now. The foliage... I can't even to begin to describe the foliage.

Ron Jeremy and Linnea Quigley star in a new film "Girls Gone Dead" which just so happens to have a new poster available for viewing. I'm not sure there's any other information you really need to know about the movie. Alright fine... I'm a giver. The flick tells the story of a group of college students going wild on spring break while a serial killer roams the area surrounding their vacation home. See, you're still focusing on the porn stars aren't you.

I think it would be a hoot to see Vince McMahon at the Oscars but I'm not going to hold my breath. But maybe, just maybe, the WWE funded "No One Lives" which revolves around a group of criminals who find themselves hunted by a killer will get some Oscar buzz. There's little to no chance of that ever happening but a gal can dream can't she.

I love me a Zombie comedy. Alright I really liked "Shaun of the Dead", the others I've seen have been kind of crap. But here's some new stills from "Dead Before Dawn 3D", which has none other than piranha expert Christopher Lloyd on it's cast list. I'm willing to be open minded here. But that's just the kind of guy I am.

In Real People News: 

The Utah Chainsaw Massacre? Doesn't have the same ring to it but a man was assaulted on Halloween night by a masked man tossing around a chainsaw. The man is still on the loose so I look forward to a sequel sometime in the near future. I wonder who they'll get to replace Dennis Hopper.

Don't mess with a kid and his candy. A 10 year South Carolina boy is in custody after he pulled a gun on a 28 year old woman who was trying to steal his candy. I don't even know what else to say about this. He's like a little tiny Chuck Norris or something.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday July 13th, 2011

Christopher Lloyd has signed on to play an occult shop owner in the upcoming 3D Canadian indie horror flick "Dead Before Dawn". April Mullen, who looks like she smells like sunshine, is the director behind the project that currently filming in Niagara Fall, Ontario. Because no one does anyone on the U.S. side of Niagara Falls. It's the one and only thing Canada has on us.

Sue Rock, who according to IMDB I have seen in a few movies before, is the latest name to be added to the ever growing "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D" cast list. She'll play someone I'm guessing gets killed within the first 20 minutes so I'm not really going to bother explaining the role. In short the only reason I'm mentioning this is when I first read about this I thought the headline said "The Rock" was joining the cast. Which got me really excited and I was already typing the post up.

Yesterday the internet was all ablaze with the exciting news that "Evil Dead 4" was slowly rolling into production. And now to stoke the fire in your loins just a little more the mighty Bruce Campbell has commented on the status. According the him that project is very much real, very much scary and very much a remake. Oh boy... remake. I want to believe every word Bruce Campbell says so I'm keeping the faith here. Please don't hurt me, Bruce. I'm not sure my tender heart could take that.

I'm not 100% convinced that Bill Moseley didn't fight in the civil war and for that reason I am not convinced that the new horror flick "Exit Humanity" isn't a documentary. Of course I don't believe I remember anything about zombies being a large problem in the post civil war era but to be honestl I wasn't very good in social studies. In any case there's a new trailer for the flick so you can make your own conclusions.

In Real People News: 

Well this is a creative 'eff you to the former love of your life now isn't it. A Washington man is under arrested after breaking into his ex-girlfriends house and shaving her head. Of course he reportedly tried to shove her into a dryer the week before this so a shaved head sounds alright in comparison.

And you might want to sit down for this one fellas. It's a story about a women who drugged her soon to be ex-husband, tied him to the bed, cut off his junk and then tossed it into the garbage disposal. But in all fairness she did call 911 for him after. Evens out I think.

Horror Headlines: Thursday May 5th, 2011

If you saw "Catfish" and were as disappointed as I was then get ready because the duo behind the film have officially signed up to disappoint you with "Paranormal Activity 3". Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman are on board to direct that magic that will be "PA3: Back in Da Hood" which is currently plotting an October 21st release. And no that's not actually the title of the movie. It would be pretty awesome if it was though.

Well this should be interesting. Along with Paul Scheer and Christopher Lloyd none other than Mr. Ving Rhames has signed on to return in "Piranha 3DD". This of course is very exciting because Rhames' character had one of the best deaths in the original flick and now we're all moist to see how he's going to return for the sequel. I apologize if you haven't seen the first film yet and I just ruined it. I also apologize for using the word "moist"

Andy Garcia, William Fichtner, Ed Harris and Natascha McElhone have all been added to the cast of the upcoming supernatural thriller "Phantom". The movie focuses on a Soviet submarine captain who discovers there's something about his vessel that could end the lives of him and his entire crew. I'm also happy to announce that this is the most amount of legitimate actors I've ever mentioned in one news post. I think I might cry.

What's better than a found footage flick? How about a low budget one! Ladies and gentlemen I present to you "051: Confidential", a new movie that was supposedly found outside of Area 51 and is now being used as a training video by the military. Who found it? Now one knows! Let's go with me. I found it! You're welcome, America. Now kiss my grits!

In Real People News: 

What would Jesus do? Apparently stab her boyfriend like crazy so he can get to hell. I know it's insane, a woman! Anyway a Minnesota woman is currently under arrest after going bonkers and claiming to be big J and then attacking her boyfriend. Hell hath no fury like our Lord and savior while she's on the rag.

It's got to be upsetting to find out your kids are downtown with the cops being booked for shoplifting. So much so that you might want to knock a few back to take the edge off. Of course when you go to pick up your kids you might want to not be wasted, much like this mother of the year in Louisiana did. Are you crying from the beauty of it all? I hope so.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday May 13th, 2009

Were you eagerly awaiting a sequel to Tobe Hooper's "Toolbox Murders" remake? Me neither, but they're trying to placate me by throwing Jeffrey Combs, Tony Todd and Lance Henriksen into the mix. Did it work? You can check out the teaser trailer at the site and tell me.

Jaume Balaguero to direct "Flatmate". Balaguero is one half of the duo behind the original Spanish film "[REC]", but little else is known about the project at this time.

Sweet Jesus, a sequel to "The Messengers"? ME NO WANT. If you want, there's a trailer at the link.

Simon Baker to star in "The Killer Inside Me, as a really handsome murderer who kills other handsome people, like Casey Affleck, Jessica Alba, and Kate Hudson. It's just so realistic!

Christopher Lloyd has joined the cast of "Piranha 3D". I'm officially going to start having wet dreams about this movie. Stay tuned for details.

The adaptation of Steve Niles "Wake the Dead" is delayed because the WETA workshop has to work on "The Hobbit" for Guillermo Del Toro. Jesus, the guy's so freaking busy that now he's delaying other people's projects? Will his reign of pudgy Mexican tyranny ever end? (I kid, I kid)

In Real People News: 

Prostitute bites man's penis off after he tells her he can't pay. I'm no expert at this, but wouldn't you wait until afterwards to tell her you can't pay?

Hawaii, a great place for vacations, honeymoons, and apparently, flesh-eating bacteria. I'm guessing that won't be in the brochure, though.

On this day in history: 

1913: The latest brainchild of Russian aircraft design genius Igor Sikorsky embarks on its maiden flight. The Grand, easily the world's most luxurious passenger plane, includes such innovations as upholstered seats, a balcony, and even a lavatory.

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