Exit Humanity

Horror Headlines: Wednesday April 24th, 2013

The names keep being added to the upcoming murder cover up being advised by a talking cat and dog flick "The Voices". Next on the list of additions is Jacki Weaver, who I find strangely attractive even though she's just shy of 100 I think. No word on what role she'll be playing and honestly I don't know what my deal is with her. I don't understand what's going on with my downstairs half the time in all honesty.

The folks over at Lionsgate and Summit have picked up a new zombie comedy flick titled "You'll Be the Death Of Me". Produced by the same folks that brought you "Warm Bodies". Details are pretty loose but it sounds like it's about a couple falling in love in NYC while a killer's on the loose. So ya know, all kinds of yuk yuks to be had for your funny bone.

I'm still somewhat confused by what the hell was going on in "Pontypool" but the film's writer, Tony Burgess and leading man, Stephen McHattie have both signed up for "Hellmouth", a new film about a dark journey to find the mystery behind a local cemetery. John Geddes of "Exit Humanity" fame is set to direct.

John and Drew Dowdle, the fellas behind "Quarantine" have lined up "As Above, So Below" as their next project. The film is still being cast but is set to follow two archaeologists as they search the tunnels below Paris for treasure. I bet it smells like armpits down there.

In Real People News: 

Ya know if a first date isn't going well why not just take the opportunity to car jack your not fun date's car? I wish I had thought of that back in my crying myself to sleep days.

A Salt Lake City Mormon bishop fended off an attacker trying to assault his neighbor with a Samurai sword. I don't know where we go from here, folks.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday July 13th, 2011

Christopher Lloyd has signed on to play an occult shop owner in the upcoming 3D Canadian indie horror flick "Dead Before Dawn". April Mullen, who looks like she smells like sunshine, is the director behind the project that currently filming in Niagara Fall, Ontario. Because no one does anyone on the U.S. side of Niagara Falls. It's the one and only thing Canada has on us.

Sue Rock, who according to IMDB I have seen in a few movies before, is the latest name to be added to the ever growing "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D" cast list. She'll play someone I'm guessing gets killed within the first 20 minutes so I'm not really going to bother explaining the role. In short the only reason I'm mentioning this is when I first read about this I thought the headline said "The Rock" was joining the cast. Which got me really excited and I was already typing the post up.

Yesterday the internet was all ablaze with the exciting news that "Evil Dead 4" was slowly rolling into production. And now to stoke the fire in your loins just a little more the mighty Bruce Campbell has commented on the status. According the him that project is very much real, very much scary and very much a remake. Oh boy... remake. I want to believe every word Bruce Campbell says so I'm keeping the faith here. Please don't hurt me, Bruce. I'm not sure my tender heart could take that.

I'm not 100% convinced that Bill Moseley didn't fight in the civil war and for that reason I am not convinced that the new horror flick "Exit Humanity" isn't a documentary. Of course I don't believe I remember anything about zombies being a large problem in the post civil war era but to be honestl I wasn't very good in social studies. In any case there's a new trailer for the flick so you can make your own conclusions.

In Real People News: 

Well this is a creative 'eff you to the former love of your life now isn't it. A Washington man is under arrested after breaking into his ex-girlfriends house and shaving her head. Of course he reportedly tried to shove her into a dryer the week before this so a shaved head sounds alright in comparison.

And you might want to sit down for this one fellas. It's a story about a women who drugged her soon to be ex-husband, tied him to the bed, cut off his junk and then tossed it into the garbage disposal. But in all fairness she did call 911 for him after. Evens out I think.

Horror Headlines: Thursday December 2nd, 2010

I have no idea if this is a surprise or news at all, but a sixth season of "Dexter" has been confirmed. In related news the sun will in fact rise tomorrow and I will still not have clean underthings.

If I have to explain to you what "Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus" is about then I don't think we can be friends anymore. All you need to know is it hits DVD on December 21st and there's a new trailer for it. Oh and you should probably know that I want to see other people too, but that doesn't have anything to do with the movie.

This on the other hand is very much news. September 16, 2011 will be the most magical day ever because "Piranha 3DD" will hit theaters. We should all go camp outside the theater now so we can get the first tickets.

Bill Moseley and Civil War horror movies go together like sex and peanut butter. That's a fact. So here's some new pictures of him and the rest of the gang in "Exit Humanity". Of course the movie was filmed in Toronto so maybe this is some other Civil War they had over maple syrup something. Beats me.

In Real People News: 

A Pennsylvania man has been jailed after getting all loopy on a mixture of prescription pills and alcohol and beating the crap out of his roommate. Why did he do this? Well he was so high that he thought he was a Jedi Master of course.

If you can rob a gas station with a 3 foot long tree branch you shouldn't have to face any prison time. That's a fact and I'm pretty sure it's somewhere in the constitution right next to "being awesome" is a perfectly good reason for driving drunk. I love freedom.

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