laurence fishburne

Episode 239 - "Event Horizon"

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No one besmirches the great name of Laurence Fishburne, and other things we learned this week...

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Horror Headlines: Thursday, March 1st, 2011

Welcome to March! In days of old the druids would celebrate the first day of March by taking some time off from Druiding and enjoying some fishing. They would spend most of February building canoes and the person with the best canoe would be given the title of Supreme Kleeton. He would be showered with gifts and given the best fishing pole in all of the Druid town. The person with the worst canoe would be flogged to death. It really sucked.

Steve Watson's book "Before I Go to Sleep", a tale of a woman who's suffering from a injury that has left her without the power to save new memories for two decades, has been in the big screen adaptation bucket for a while now without much action. But today my friends, oh today we have news that Nicole Kidman is in talks to take on the lead role in the film. So I guess that's still not much momentum there. In talks could be she went out to dinner, got drunk and said something like "Hey! I want to play the lead in a movie that sounds a lot like 'Memento' but isn't 'Memento'".

The short film "Archetype", which tells the story of a robot that begins to think on it's own, has been picked up by "Chronicle" producer John Davis with plans to turn it into a feature film. No word on when the movie will start filming but I'm hoping they turn it into "Short Circuit 3". I've been waiting almost 25 years for that movie to happen.

I've never seen "The Day of the Triffids" and to be honest I thought it was a Star Trek episode until now but it looks like Sam Raimi's Ghost House Pictures has picked up the rights to remake the 1962 film. The movie focuses on a couple left with the power of sight after a meteorite shower hits the earth, leaving the population blind and giant plants growing everywhere. "The Trouble With Tribbles"! That's the Star Trek episode I'm thinking of.

Bill Paxton has joined Laurence Fishburne in the cast of "The Colony". The film follows a group of survivors trying to fend off a gang of cannibals after the second ice age hits. How do they cook the meat if it's the ice age? God I hope they answer that question in the movie. That's all I want to know. I'll walk out of the theater once they tell me.

In Real People News: 

If you're going to leave your just-used butt plug someplace you might want to make sure that place isn't the back seat of the cop car you were just thrown into. I don't know proper butt plug etiquette though. I could be wrong on this.

A North Caroline man is with us no more after he accidentally drank gasoline and then lit up a smoke. A mistake any of us could or have made in the past.

Horror Headlines: Thursday, February 16th, 2012

Twice this week a girl has sat next to me on the bus and then gotten up and moved to a different seat after being next to me for about 20 minutes. I'm fairly sure it was the same girl. She got on at the same stop both times and this morning I saw her contemplate standing rather than sitting next to me. The first time it happened I was wearing a larger coat so I chalked it up to me taking up most of the seat. But today I was wearing a thinner one and even tried to push myself up against the wall so she had more room. I don't think I smell but who knows.

If I ever decide to be come a cannibal I'm going to catch the next flight to Laurence Fishburne's house. I bet he would be delicious. And we'll all get to find out when he and Kevin Zegers star in "The Colony", a new flick about a group of survivors living in an underground bunker after the ice age hits trying to fight off a group of cannibals. Deals are not confirmed yet but they look to be locking in sometime in the near future. I don't even think he would need much seasoning...

NBC is banking on "Hannibal" being a hit with the kids and has decided to green light the show for a full series of 13 episodes. The show will be based on the classic characters from the "Red Dragon" novel and will focus on the relationship between Will Graham and his mentor Dr. Hannibal Lecter. Kind of like "Will and Grace" with murdering.

Lara Flynn Boyle is going to play a weed dealing witch in the new film "Black Forest: Hansel and Gretel & the 420 Witch". I have no idea what else to say about that.

I haven't heard much about the new movie "Chernobyl Diaries" but it sounds pretty bad ass. The film is about a group of friends who are stuck in the city of Prypiat in the aftermath of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster. How the hell they got there I have no idea but it looks like they're not alone. Ohh spooky! The film has been just been given a May 25th release date and stars a bunch of people I've never heard of but I'm sure are super hot. Catch the fever.

In Real People News: 

There's nothing funny about death and it's sad that Whitney Houston is gone. What is hilarious though is this woman in England who set her house on fire with a candle she had lit to honor the singer. I can't think of any Whitney Houston songs with the word "fire" in the title but if you know one feel free to make your own joke.

And here's an adorable picture of a puppy sleeping. It looks just like a penis. An adorable penis.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday March 16th, 2010

If you've been anticipating the arrival of Jude Law and Forrest Whitaker's futuristic thriller "Repo Men", be sure to check out the new motion comic.

Not content with just movies and now TV, Rob Zombie is returning to the world of comics with "What Ever Happened to Baron Von Shock" from Image Comics. The first reader to locate the drawn Sheri Moon Zombie cameo in the book wins a cookie!... and a boner.

Summit Entertainment is preparing for new franchise hopes with its newly acquired script "The Last Witch Hunter" written by Cory Goodman. So far, Timur Bekmambetov is definitely producing the film and may direct as well. Despite who's on board, there is no way this movie can stack up next to Nic Cage's hair in "Season of the Witch".

"True Blood" fans rejoice; you do not have to wait much longer to sink your teeth into Sookie Stackhouse. HBO has announced that the hit series will return on Sunday June 13th.

In Real People News: 

Did the CIA secretly douse NYC Subway commuters with LSD in 1950? I don't know, but this article on H.P. Arabellis book on CIA Cold War era weapons testing makes a fascinating read regardless.

It's always good to have goals in life. In some cases though, like Donna Simpson's goal of becoming the fattest woman in the world, these goals really need to be re-thought.

On this day in history: 

1792 - At a masquerade ball, a disgruntled Captain Jacob Johan Ankarstroem shoots Swedish King Gustav III near the heart with a bullet composed of lead and carpet tacks.

Horror Headlines: Friday December 18th, 2009

Well hello there. Louis here, back for Fowler Fridays, the special little crumb I get here on BGH. I was originally planning on not making my return until the first of the the new year, because, well, next week is Christmas and I don't know if we'll be doing the news or not. I'm gonna venture on not. And, then the week after that, it's New Year's Day. Where will I be getting my ego-boosting Internet-attention from??? If not for you guys, I'd be in a constant fetal position, using my arm as a tear-soaked pillow.

The big news of the day? Genre screenwriter Dan O'Bannon is dead. Sure, he's most famous for coming up with Alien, writing Lifeforce and directing Return of the Living Dead, but, for me, his best work was Total Recall. My favorite scene? When Sharon Stone tells Arnold not to shoot her in the head because they're “married”, but he shoots her anyway and says “Consider that the divorce!”. I hope to use that line one day, preferably when I shoot my wife.

Laurence Fishburne has joined the cast of Robert Rodriguez's upcoming Predators. I still await the news that he's been cast as Butterball in my urban remake of Hellraiser, affectionately title Black Hellraiser. “He's Pinhead's Black Soul Brother! A screamin' demon rages inside, turnin' him into Black Pinhead! Don't give him no sass or he'll kick yo' ass! Rated R! Under 17… bring yo' mama, she'll like it too!”

In Real People News: 

A new study finds that the chemicals in plastics are altering the brains of males, making them “more feminine”. Maybe that explains why all the grown men in my Twitter are constantly going on about the Goddamned Muppets.

According to a source close to Angelina Jolie, she “hates” Obama. And, suddenly, I really like Angelina Jolie.

A pair of lovable pugs feast on their owner's body when the douchebag cry-baby committed suicide. Good for those pugs! If you are the type of loser to give up and commit suicide, at least have the decency to give your pets to someone to watch. In other news, those dogs now have the insatiable craving for blood.

On this day in history: 

In 1996, the Oakland school board recognizes “Ebonics” as an official language. We wish you a Merry Kwanzaa and a happy failed public-school education!

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