cloverfield 2

Horror Headlines: Tuesday, March 6th, 2011

I have the smallest and most exciting update on "The Dark Tower", the Stephen King adaptation that had Ron Howard attached to it months ago and has yet to gain any traction. Well, it looks like one brave soul took to twitter to ask the man himself if he's still directing and always the gentlemen Richie Cunningham replied back saying that "I hope and plan to. Love it”. What a guy.

Mark my words people, anthology films are going to be the new hotness. "The Profane Exhibit" for example is new in the works and none other than Mr. Uwe Boll has just wrapped his contribution to the film: a short about a married couple, played by Clint Howard and Caroline Williams, who have kept their daughter locked in the basement her entire life. I can't even think of anything funny to say. I'm too shocked that Clint Howard bagged Stretch.

Bob Gale wrote "Back To the Future" and you should love him for that. And now he's going to do the big screen adaptation of Scott Hampton’s graphic novel "Trespassers". The story follows a group of mythbusters who set out to dispel the story of a local haunted house. They come to find out the house is all kinds of messed up with demons and a gateway to hell. And the only way to stop it is to build a car that can take you back in time! Alright that last part isn't true, but man it would be awesome.

I'm probably confused, but I thought "Cloverfield 2" wasn't happening anymore. But now director Drew Goddard has confirmed that he's officially on board for the found footage follow up. Although he kind of said it like he's in, so call some other people and get it happening. I don't know if he wants me to do that. I don't know anyone's number. I've got my own job. What a jerk that guy is. Putting that all on me.

In Real People News: 

I knew that you can go to jail for packaging up flour and trying to sell it like drugs, but I had no idea you could be locked up for exposing fake genitalia to someone. I thank this guy from Maryland for that little nugget of knowledge.

Kicking in the balls is a real prick move when you're fighting another guy. Do the manly thing like this guy in Texas. Bight your opponent's nose off. It's just clean fighting.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday March 22nd, 2011

Matt Reeves has confirmed that "Cloverfield 2" will 100% happen and that J.J. Abrams is for sure involved. Good news if you liked the first. Of course he has absolutely no idea when the film is going to happen so it's most likely going to be a while. Which is good news if you hated the first.

Seth Grahame-Smith may be given the opportunity to co-direct the big screen version of his book "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" along with David Katzenberg. I will go on record as saying that 100% of movies directed by the author of the book it was based on have been awesome. Keep in mind the only one I can think of is "Maximum Overdrive" though.

In "hey I bet we can get these horror geeks to pay for anything" news the good people Shriek Show will bring the cult classic "Zombie Holocaust" to Blu-Day on April 19th. No confirmation on the extras but I assume there's a 5 minute video of the president of Shriek Show laughing hysterically because you paid 30 bucks for a movie that still looks like it was recorded on your parent's VHS camera.

"Wood Wake" director David Keating has tossed his hat in the ring to direct the Hammer Films remake of 1942 classic "Cat People". How do we close the door on this one? Do you need my approval? You can consider this my official approval. You're welcome, Keating.

In Real People News: 

A Texas man recently went bat shit insane when he was informed that his Beefy Crunch Burritos at Taco Bell were going to cost him $1.50 rather than .99 cents. He was so upset by this that he shot a BB gun into the drive-in window and then held up in a local motel for 4 hours while police tried to arrest him. Not saying I'd do the same but when I found out they got rid of the Chili Cheese Burrito I almost burned that mother down.

A 40 year old ice cream truck operator is being brought up on charges after he was caught selling prescription drugs out of his truck. I'm pretty sure this was in the movie "Friday". Was it Big Worm? Did they arrest Big Worm? That guy seemed like a jerk.

Horror Headlines: Thursday January 27th, 2011

Some new behind the scenes photos for "Battle: Los Angeles" have hit the net and they're full of alien goodness. I haven't seen the movie yet but if all the aliens want is one city then maybe we should just let them have it. The place has lost all its appeal since 2Pac died anyway. Or did he!?

According to director Matt Reeves the story for "Cloverfield 2" hasn't even been discussed and the film may never happen. I know I had trouble getting out of bed today too just knowing this! Let me help though, annoying guy runs around with camera while his friends jump around some the city avoiding giant aliens. Let's light this candle!

The newest name to be tossed around Ron Howard and Stephen King's "The Dark Tower" film is Christian Bale. Of course he's being rumored as their first choice so take that for what it is. My first choice for my bus driver tomorrow is Jackie Gleason but he's been dead for 20 years so it's probably not going to happen.

Director David O. Russell recently dropped knowledge on why he decided to drop out as director of the upcoming big screen version of "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". Apparently the studio only wanted to put about 25 million into the budget and Russell was hoping for almost double that. When you think about the fact that they spent 75 million to make "Monkeybone" you start to think David might have a point.

In Real People News: 

When you send a friend request to a man your friend likes, even being family won't save you. Case in point this women from Upstate NY who ran over her cousin not once, but twice after she had the nerve to do just that. If I was him I'd be flattered.

A mother in California has been arrested after her pre-teen kids became sick after eating cookies she had made laced with pot. Apparently no charges are being brought up on the kids for ganging her stash, I'll never understand the legal system.

Horror Headlines: Monday March 15th, 2010

Details have emerged for yet another franchise reboot; this time for "The Howling Reborn". Here's hoping for a Dee Wallace sighting.

Rumors abound this weekend that Joaquin Phoenix may be shedding his homeless side job to portray Edgar Allen Poe in "The Beautiful Cigar Girl".

Director Matt Reeves spoke with MTV giving details on "Cloverfield 2". In true MTV journalistic fashion, these details boil down to 'yah sure, we might do a sequel some day!'.

In Real People News: 

A North Carolina man woke up this morning dealing with his possessive trust issues after being arrested for carving the word "MINE" in his girlfriend's stomach during a violent argument.

Evelyn Boyd decided that she needed to undertake a prayer fast to ask God for help for her husband, her city, the president and more. On the 26th day of her locking herself in her bedroom, her husband found her dead of apparent starvation and other complications due to the fasting.

On this day in history: 

1937 - H P Lovecraft dies from cancer and Bright's disease in Rhode Island.

Horror Headlines: September 14th, 2009

Here's 5 clips from "Dexter" season 4, which I won't watch because I'm still making my way through season 3, which by the way has been just as kick ass as the first two so far. Highly recommended.

Today sees the announcement of "Never Sleep Again: The Elm St. Legacy", a retrospective documentary on the Nightmare series. It comes co-directed from the man who brought us "His Name Was Jason", but promises to be more in-depth and informational, which sounds good to me. I enjoyed "His Name...", but couldn't get over the fact that it felt like giving Jason Voorhees a blowjob for 90 minutes. A little more substance this time around would be a great thing.

Another purported "Cloverfield 2" viral video. The only thing that doesn't make sense to me is why someone would be so excited about moving to NYC after what happened just a few years ago (In the "Cloverfield" universe that is). The city looks to be in awfully good shape for one that was decimated by a giant crab-monster thing.

Let me just state this on the record right now... "Ring 3D" sounds like possibly the worst idea I've ever heard. Know this.

In Real People News: 

Nevermind, THIS is gross. Sorry folks, I don't make the news, I just report it.

Thai man lives with 4,600 scorpions because you know, why wouldn't he?

On this day in history: 

1956: Surgeons Walter Freeman and Egas Moniz perform America's first prefrontal lobotomy on a depressed, 63-year-old Kansas woman in Washington, D.C. They successfully create a lethargic dullard, and the duo hails the result for years to come as a medical triumph, despite the fact that two of their next twenty lobotomy subjects end as fatalities.

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