Bioshock

Frankenstein's Army (REVIEW)

“Frankenstein’s Army” is a found footage film about a unit of Russian soldiers who are fighting Nazis during WWII and searching for other missing Russians. Instead of finding missing soldiers they are forced to fight an army of “steampunk” monsters that have been created by Dr. Frankenstein, who apparently has been attempting to end the war by combining equal halves of communists and fascists brains.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday November 16th, 2011

Bill Nighy, who is apparently not "the science guy" has set his sights on the villain role in "I, Frankenstein". A new film which will starting shooting soon and tells the tale of everyone's favorite reanimated monster and what would happen if he popped up in the modern world. No news as to what the specific role would be but I don't think it would kill him to show us how magnets work or something.

A few months back it sounded like a big screen version of the video game "Bioshock" has some real potential to be made but from the way game creator Ken Levine is talking now it sounds like the film just isn't in the cards. Levine says in a recent interview that there's no real "desire" to have the movie get made and then goes on to give all the reasons as to why it would be bad. What about my desires, Ken? Those don't mean anything to you any more?!

We've all been waiting for a sequel to "Bikini Girls On Ice". Hell I heard some local schools are shutting down in protest until a new film is confirmed. Well get back to math class kids because we've got some new images from "Pin-Up Girls On Ice" for your viewing pleasure. This time around a group of pin up girls are asked to perform at a secluded camp that just so happens to be hunting grounds for a killer obsessed with ice. I can finally get some sleep tonight.

Valentina Cervi, who I'm not familiar with but based on pictures I assume reads a lot, is the latest name to be added to the upcoming season of "True Blood". Mrs. Book Worm will play an ancient vampire with the power to seduce men with all her worldly charms. But then the men get to her house and see she doesn't own a TV and fake some early morning meeting or something. Maybe ask if she has a sister.

In Real People News: 

I'm not even sure this should be a crime but a 26 year old North Carolina womAn is faces charges after she got drunk, broke into a house and ate a bunch of cookies. Honestly if she's willing to replace the cookies can't they just let this one slide? One time I got drunk when I was away with some friends and accidentally crawled into the wrong hotel window and took an hour nap in someone's room. Although I did make the bed when I left so, no harm no foul.

If you're going to dress up like a woman and steal a car, don't txt after you get behind the wheel. We might put up with trannys and car theft in New Jersey. But txting behind he wheel will not be tolerated.

Horror Headlines: Friday May 27th, 2011

Oh boy oh boy! Amar'e Stoudemire of the New York Knicks if currently in discussions to sign on as an executive producer for the "The Strangers 2". I know, a Basketball player and a horror movie. Sounds like a perfect fit! Maybe some of his teammates can take on the acting roles. It'll be like those episodes of "Saturday Night Live" where an athlete hosts and no one watches.

Ken Levine, creative director of Irrational Games, recently sat down to discuss the much talked about "Bioshock" movie that everyone has pretty much given up on. According to Kenny though there's still a possibility and he'd be happy to see a movie be made. Of course based on the interview it sounds like there is no progress whatsoever but who knows. He then went on to use the word "pieces" so many times that I assume he was sitting in a room with a group of people who had agreed to do a shot every time he said it.

If I heard one consistent comment about Trent Haaga's "Deadgirl" it's that all the necrophilia is great but why isn't the picture quality better?! Well good news, you sick pervert who should be locked up, the 2008 sleepy hit is findings it's way to Blu-Ray on August 30th. For those of you not familiar with the movie it's about a couple of kids who find a living dead girl strapped to a table in an abandoned hospital and eventually end up having sex with her. I immediately regret telling you all that.

It's a slow day and everyone here at the BGH office has already taken off for the weekend so here's another new poster for "Super 8" which leads me to believe they're not even bothering to not make this movie look like "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" anymore. Of course Steve Spielberg is the producer of the J.J. Abrams joint so maybe the two were at a bar one night and Abrams was complaining about Third Kind and Spielberg got sick of it and just said "well you try to make it better, prick!". What the hell do I know though.

In Real People News: 

I'm not sure I see the harm in this but some guards at a prison in China are in hot water after they were forcing inmates to work 12 hours shifts "gold farming" in a number of multilayer games. What that means is the prisoners would play games and earn gold in those games and then the guards could sell that gold in the game to people for real money. I can't begin to explain how proud I am of myself for not knowing that before I read the article.

"How am I suppose to get by without my cell phone?!". What no one saw "Doctor Dolittle 2"? Well if this 15 year old girl in Washington did or didn't I don't know but I know she did shoot her dad with a bow and arrow when he tried to take away hers. Which is a lot cooler than being able to talk to deer.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday September 15th, 2010

According to the twitterverse Kevin Pollak has signed on to the cast of Kevin Smith's "Red State". The film is about a group of kids who encounter a gang of crazed fundamentalists in middle America. The good news? No mention of Jay or Silent Bob in the cast list

Gore Verbinski, the guy who directed all the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies, still wants to make a "Bioshock" film and he's willing to murder to make it happen. Alright he probably won't go that far but he's super into making it happen. So into it he would kill! Sorry.

What's better than 6 new clips from "Let Me In"? How about 8! You guessed 7 didn't you? Of course if the movie sucks 0 would be the correct number. Either way there's a lot of math going on here and I need a nap.

Why wouldn't you do a 3D remake of the 1977 film "Kingdom of the Spiders"? Well alright there's really a long list of reasons but at this point who gives a crap. 3D is freakin awesome! Bring on the spiders and whatnot.

Magnet Releasing, which is a part of Magnolia Pictures has acquired the North American distribution rights to "Chawz". If you couldn't guess by the title the Korean film is about a giant crazed pig terrorizing a peaceful countryside. My mistake, there's no way you could have guessed what this movie is about.

In Real People News: 

Two new procedures have been approved by the FDA to help fight obesity. Both break down fat cells by cooling them to the point of no return and flushing them from your body. I look forward to the next release where it warms the fat into a creamy dip for chips and crackers.

On this day in history: 

1982 - Iran's former foreign minister, Sadegh Ghotbzadeh, was executed after he was convicted of plotting against the government

Horror Headlines: Tuesday July 6th, 2009

Gore Verbinski has surfaced from the depths to talk about the delays surrounding the big screen adaptation of 2K Games "Bioshock", sighting troubles of maintaining a manageable budget while keeping a hard R rating.

AMC made clear some time ago that director Frank Darabont would only be directing the pilot of their epic undead series "The Walking Dead". As the production of the show hits full steam, AMC starts to look towards their next director with their sites set firmly on "Breaking Bad" helmer Michelle Maxwell McLaren.

Nobody knows for sure what the viral "Patient Zero" is advertising, but the postcards handed out to patrons of this weekend's Anime Expo are intriguing at least.

Who is Roger Jackson? He's none other than that gravely voice we hear on the phone whenever Ghostface calls to flirt with Drew Barrymore in the "Scream" movies. Not that it makes much of a difference on the outcome of "Scream 4", Mr. Jackson has officially signed on to reprise his role.

In Real People News: 

Some guy in England thought it would be a good idea to make jelly out of a piece of Princess Di's hair. Surprisingly, he only made $10 off of his concoction on Ebay.

Indian police rescued a man who had been held prisoner in a 6 foot by 3 foot coffin since 2007.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday August 26th, 2009

Video game geeks the world over cried out loud when news came awhile back that Gore Verbinski was no longer attached to the big screen "Bioshock" adaptation. Fear not, because Universal has announced that the movie is still moving forward. "28 Weeks Later" Director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo has now been tasked to bring the underwater spook fest to life.

Jeff Gentry, director of 2007's indie horror darling "The Signal", has been given the reigns to MTV Films' "My Super Pyscho 16". While there are no details available for the film, it is said to be a slasher, and judging from his earlier film, Gentry should be up to the task.

Cover art for the upcoming "Night of the Creeps" DVD and Blu-ray has hit the streets and they're different for each format! One looks cool, one looks rushed, you be the final judge!

In Real People News: 

A woman thought her boyfriend was acting a bit off when they were playing around in the hot tub, and it wasn't until they were having sex that she noticed he didn't have his usual cowboy tattoo on his ass. Turns out, it was her boyfriend's twin brother. Whoops!

Australian Police arrest a man dressed as a monkey, randomly hugging mall shoppers and posing for pictures. When asked for his name, he made random squeaking noises and replied only with 'Monkey'. In other news, it is discovered that Australian Police have absolutely no sense of humor.

A fight breaks out in a prison cell when an inmate farts in the face of the guard patting him down. Now THAT'S comedy.

On this day in history: 

1858: The first news dispatch sent via telegraph hits the world. 150 years later, that first form of mass communication has evolved to random people bitching about Rob Zombie 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Horror Headlines: Monday, August 24th, 2009

Due to the "shadowcast" phenomenon (think Rocky horror but with Goth kids), "Repo: The Genetic Opera" director Darren Lynn bousman has launched a website to keep the mythos going. He says this is a "life long project" for him, which I hope means they'll eventually do another version of the film, only this time not so terrible.

The release of "Zombieland" has been bumped up a week. You can now check out the Woody Harrelson zombie film on October 2nd.

"28 Weeks Later" director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo is in talks to direct "Bioshock", the adaptation of the wildly popular videogame.

Todd Mcfarlane has officially started writing a new "Spawn" film. He says that it will be a standalone story, and he's shooting for an "R" rating.

The following is a "Rumble Trailer" for "The Final Destination" over at Break.com. Warning: the video does autoplay when you go there so watch those speakers at work. It's kind of a nifty little marketing thing though, so I recommend checking it out.

In Real People News: 

Hmmm... turns out we really do need our appendix's. And when you find out why, you'll wish you still had yours!

I'm not even sure where to start with this story. A man from Iowa was arrested recently after repeating a joke from a "Seinfeld" episode. Great series, of course, but not so much topical. The kicker? he's not the first Iowan to be fired for an old "Seinfeld" joke. What, is it like 1995 there?

On this day in history: 

1572: Troops loyal to the French crown alongside Catholic civilians massacre the Protestant Huguenots of Paris, estimates range between 20,000 and 100,000 deaths. At news of this carnage of this St. Bartholomew's Day Massacre, a gleeful Pope Gregory XIII ordered celebrations and a medal to be struck.

"Bioshock 2" Delayed Until 2010

The buzz machine has been firing on all cylinders for the past few months over the fall release of "Bioshock 2," including shipments of records, paper dolls, and misc promotional materials to media outlets. Unfortunately, the news broke yesterday that even with such strong hype, we're going to have to wait just a bit longer to get our hands on the game, specifically the (I'm sure intentionally) vague "2010 fiscal year."

Horror Headlines: Tuesday June 2nd, 2009

I'm actually pretty proud that it took me nearly two days to realize that "Twilight" won best movie at the MTV Movie Awards this weekend. If you also didn't know, consider yourselves lucky.

Gore Verbinski says he's pretty much off of "Bioshock", mainly because he doesn't think his schedule will allow him to shoot outside of the US for a year and a half, which will pretty much be a requirement due to the film's logistics and budget.

International trailer for "Train", the remake of "Terror Train" that it turns out isn't a remake but still has "Train" in the name. Got all that? I'm glad, because it was probably the most pointless sentence I've ever written.

Lionsgate is moving forward with a 3D remake of the 80's film "Happy Birthday To Me". The original is a fairly classic 80's slasher with a mess of an ending, that most people seem to love. I was a little peeved. Either way, it will probably make for pretty simple fair to remake.

In Real People News: 

High School teen in trouble for eating pig testicles on a dare. I know that animal testicles are eaten in certain parts of the country, but not like this. The kid ate the nuts off of a fetal pig, that had been soaking in FORMALDEHYDE. So, now you see how that may pose a problem.

On this day in history: 

1793: Jean-Paul Marat recites names of 29 people to the French Assembly, virtually all of whom will be guillotined. Over the next year 17,000 will be executed in the Reign of Terror.

"Bioshock 2" has a Release Date!

Lord knows I've been foaming at the mouth over "Bioshock 2" for months now, and I finally have a date to mark on the calendar!

Are you ready to start counting down the days until BioShock 2 hits store shelves? You can start now! BioShock 2 will be arriving on October 30th internationally and November 3rd in North America for the Xbox 360®, PLAYSTATION® 3 system, and PC.

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