Andre Ovredal

I was gaga over this "You're Next" when it was in theaters a few months back. Mostly because I like looping songs, masks and Craig T. Nelson. Well good news for me and everyone else who likes awsome things because it's just been announced that the home invasion flick will hit Blu-Ray and other homeless-people-medias on January 14th. The disc will come with a making-of featurette, two commentary tracks and god knows what else. Just to be clear Craig T. Nelson is not in this movie. I just really like him.

Clive Barker has dropped the bomb that he will in fact write the script for the upcoming "Hellraiser" remake. Want to get moister? The original Pinhead himself Doug Bradley will reprise his role. Want to get moister!? I'm wearing one of those old-timey pajama numbers where the bottom flips down so you can make BM. Alright that last one was a lie, but I kind of wanted to see what sort of sick crap you're into. Sinner.

Andre Ovredal created "Troll Hunter" and because I loved that movie and all things Norwegian I want to be his best friend. I now know why he isn't returning my letters though, it's because he's working on "The Autopsy of Jane Doe", a new film about a father son mortuary team who begin to unravel the mystery surrounding a Jane Doe they receive. No word on a cast yet but the project is set to begin filming in London shortly. Alright, I haven't really written him or anything. No one writes letters anymore. They UPS hair dolls.

Tim Daly, Mario van Peebles, Cody Christian and Willa Ford have all been confirmed to be joining the cast of Steven C. Miller's "Submerged". I read the plot to this film a good 4 times but I really just kept thinking about how I think Willa Ford is probably 300 years old now and is still hot. How is that possible? Wasn't she a pop star back in the 90's? What the hell is going on? Wait no, she's 32. That's younger than I am and I'm hideous. This has taken a terrible turn.

For those of you who have been waiting around for "The Healer", staring the creepy girl from "Orphan" Isabelle Fuhrman, I'm sorry to say it isn't going to happen. It isn't going to happen because the film, about a girl and her father who go camping to try to reconnect and find themselves in haunted territory, has been renamed "The Between". I'm sorry I toyed with your emotions back there. You look adorable when you're frightened though.

Why the hell anyone would want to see "Paranormal Activity 4" in Imax is beyond me but that isn't stopping the folks behind the film from announcing that the next chapter in the spooky camera series will find it's way to roughly 300 large screen on October 18th. They announced it because it's happening. I thought that was sort of implied though. Stupid.

Hey... HEY. Have you ever seen a found footage film... about weed? Well you're not going to see it here but we are going to the African outback with "Safari". If you couldn't have guessed the film is about a group of explorers who find themselves trapped in the desert with all the animals, heat and everything else that would make you wonder why anyone would ever want to go on a safari. You know they have a Safari ride down in Disney World right? There's literally 0 reasons you ever have to go to Africa.

I love the movie "Trollhunter" and I want Andre Ovredal, the director of said film, to sit on my face. Alright maybe that's a bit too far but god damn I love that movie so I'm super excited about the director's next project which is titled "Enormous". Based on the comic of the same name the movie will tell the tale of a world where monsters rule us all. I mean not all of us I guess, no monster is going to rule Brad Pitt. That guy is way too dreamy to be ruled.