Horror Headlines: Friday September 15th, 2012

Writing the news in an airport is kind of weird but people walking by don't really seem to give me weird looks when they see what's on my screen. When I get to the real people news though... that's when things get uncomfortable.

It's been a while since we've talked about Rob Zombie but now that his "The Lords Of Salem" is close to seeing the light of day it's time to thrust his loins back into your face. Sounds awful, right? Well it appears Mr. Zombie's witch revenge flick has sparked quite the bidding war with Anchor Bay being the front runner, offering close to $1.5 million for the film. I think we should start anew with Rob so I'll hold back on any stupid comments... I will mention how annoying his wife is though, but that's all.

If you've been on the edge of your seat waiting for the new "Godzilla" reboot then I am happy to tell you the wait is over because the good people at Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures have announced that the flick will hit theaters on May 16th 2014. I mean you have to wait till then, and that's a pretty long time away, but you don't have to wait to know how long you have to wait. You get it? "Wait" by White Lion is a great song.

Adam Wingard's "You're Next" has also found itself a release date in the form of August 23rd 2013. The flick is about a family on vacation when they find themselves being hunted by a group of mysterious killers. They wear masks I think. If they wore Godzilla masks this would tie in really nicely wouldn't it. The lead singers of White Lion's name is Mike Tramp, that always grossed me out.

I have no idea why I keep talking about "Scary movie 5" but the rumor going around that Lindsay Lohan has faked having walking pneumonia is kind of awesome so I think you people need to know about it. Apparently she's a little pissy about the fact that the small role she was set to play had her mocking her own career and downward spiral. I for one am also pissed about it. I don't care what she does, she will always be my sweetheart. My cracked out sloppy mess of a sweetheart.

In Real People News: 

Seems a bit extreme but a St. Louis man shot his uncle to death over an argument about the cut of their pork chops. That's not a weird euphemism for something else either. He really killed his uncle over the cut of meat.

Well this is nice to see not happening in Florida. A Pennsylvania man is under arrest after he jumped out of a second story window and started chewing on a passer by's head. Good for you, Florida. You go and let those hicks in PA be the weirdos for a day.

Around the Web

What's New?

Wherein no one talks about people they banged in high school...

Podcast

In which we try to make sense of "Return to Nukem High: Volume 1"...

Podcast

Latest Reviews

Search

Around The Web