danny trejo

Machete (REVIEW)

Machete Don't Fuck Around

Though my records may be incomplete, "Machete" marks what I believe is a notable Hollywood first: the fake trailer that has made it all the way to the big screen. Conceived as part of the Tarantino-Rodriguez "Grindhouse" experience, full-fledged "Machete" rumors began to swirl almost immediately after the original double-bill's opening. It wasn't hard to see why either, as Rodriguez had hit on a near perfect storm of post-modern amazingness. Combining one part down-market character actor, one part brilliant genre homage, and one part inspired casting, the results were virtually guaranteed.

Video: Boat Load of New Clips From "Machete"

A ridiculous amount of clips from "Machete" have found their way online and they're pretty much what you would expect. Lots of blood, lots of strippers and some serious bad acting. I mean all three of those things in the best way possible. Check them out below and look for "Machete" this Friday in theaters.

Trailer: "Machete" Will Blow Your Mind

I do not have any freakin clue what "Machete" is about but I'm not sure that really matters. From what I can tell Danny Trejo plays a guy who is "double crossed" and then starts cutting people up. Then Cheech Marin, who plays a priest, mind you, decides he wants to help so he blows up some cars. Then Jessica Alba comes out and does some really bad acting. Then Lindsay Lohan dresses up like a nun and shoots people in the face. Oh and Steven Seagal and Don Johnson are there too. I'm sure I'm forgetting something but it doesn't really matter.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday April 28th, 2010

It's a new week, that means a new "Predators" character profile. This week you can sneak a peek at Danny Trejo as "Cuchillo".

"Scream IV" makes the news blurbs once again, this time with a bit of a blast from the past. Rumors are starting to float that "Friday the 13th" vet Adrienne King will be in the film. While nothing has been said of the role, my own bet is that we'll see Ms. King in the film's traditional opening montage started by Drew Barrymore.

If you've been patiently waiting for another Paul Bettany fix in his upcoming vampire feature "Priest", prepare to be disappointed. Bumped recently to January 2011 in order to cash in on this whole 3-D craze, the film has now been bumped even further until March 2011. Continued delays? Always a good sign.

In Real People News: 

The Ukraine Parliament handles things a bit differently that most governing bodies. When the parliament approved their lease on Russian Black Sea Fleet for nearly 25 years, opposing law makers erupted by launching a volley of raw eggs at the speaker's podium and lighting smoke bombs in the room.

A 24 year old Oswego man didn't take kindly to his parents asking him to move out of the house. To get back at them, he decided to kill them both with a garden hoe and throw their corpses in the septic tank.

On this day in history: 

1789 - In the middle of the South Pacific, the crew of the HMS Bounty mutinies, setting Captain William Bligh and 18 other crewmen adrift in an open boat.

Horror Headlines: Monday April 19th, 2010

This just in from the odd marketing department, Bloody Disgusting will be hosting the world premiere of Andrew Howard's "Pig" on their website tonight at 6pm PST. In an effort to encourage everyone to download, burn and pass the film around to their friends, the film makers have made a catchy retro DVD cover for you to print out and use as well.

Been waiting to chop into "Machete"? Good news for you then. The official release date for the Robert Rodriguez directed and Danny Trejo starring grindhouse throwback "Machete" has been set for September 3rd, 2010.

Interesting news for horror comics fans as DC announces an "X-Files" and "30 Days of Night" cross over event. As nice as the feral acting vamps were in the far north, I still don't think they stand a chance against the likes of Mulder and Scully!

In Real People News: 

Human sacrifice? Yup, still happening. Indian officials have found the headless torso of a 25 year old male in front of the temple of Goddess Kali.

There is lots of disgusting organisms in the ocean. A recent consensus performed by a joint task force of US and Netherland scientists have discovered that there are many new life forms we were never aware of. Included in these findings was a large microbial mat made up of thousands of living micro-organisms. On it's own, this doesn't sound so bad. When the mat of living critters is the size of Greece? That's a little frightening.

On this day in history: 

1910 - Halley's comet reappears, last seen in 1835. The Earth passes safely through the comet's tail with no perceptible effect, not counting the death of Mark Twain.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday April 6th, 2010

I'll go ahead and say this is a 'thing' now; revamping literary classics to turn them into monster mashups. The newest book to the add to the pile is Sheri Borwning Erwin's "Jane Slayre". If you couldn't tell by the clever title, this is a simple case of turning Charlotte Brontes "Jane Eyre" into a vampire slayer. At this rate, we're only months away from "Of Mice and Monsters".

Are you an Anne Rice fan? Then this is good news for you. Bluewater Comics has announced that Ms. Rice will be the next subject of their Female Force line of biography comics.

While the title of "Red Sonja", Conan's flame haired female counterpart, was previously given to Rose McGowan and director Douglas Aarniokosk, those plans have been scrapped. In fact, they're even shopping for a new writer which pretty much spells out the fact that this latest reboot was a complete disaster. What could be seen as good news by some and questionable news by many is word that Millennium Films has now offered the role to Megan Fox.

In a completely unexpected turn, genre favorite Danny Trejo has announced plans to self finance a basketball drama. Focused on the Utah Jazz player Paul Millsap and his uncle/agent DeAngelo Simmons who kept the player off the streets of Louisiana, the film is tentatively titled "Ambition". Which is apt for Trejo's attempt at self financing this movie as well.

In Real People News: 

A Vermont Policeman opted for some target practice as he fired a pepperball gun repeatedly at an inmate. At an inmate who was locked in his cell.

Uganda has a growing problem that has caused the government to form task forces and start a poster campaign to warn of the dangers. The problem? Human sacrifice.

On this day in history: 

1976 - Howard Hughes dies of health complications related to syphilis.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday February 16th, 2010

If you thought the 2008 "Death Race" was a one shot deal, you were wrong! Universal Home Video has announced the direct to video sequel "Death Race: Frankenstein Lives" starring Luke Goss in drivers seat. Joining him will be the likes of Ving Rhames, Danny Trejo and Sean Bean, which makes you wonder which part of the track their careers crashed in.

"Taxi Driver" appears to be the next film slated for a modern remake but could there be actual hope for this one? Rumors were confirmed that Martin Scorecese, Lars Von-Trier and Robert DeNiro are all involved, with a strong chance of DeNiro reprising his Travis Bickle role.

Just off of the news of Neil Marshall's next epic "Centurion", the director has spoken of his plans to step into the producers chair for Ian D Fleming's "Ghosts of Slaughterford".

Ever read the synonymous trio of books written by Dean Koontz? Neither have I, but they are now slated for the feature film treatment.

In Real People News: 

A group of New York City morgue employees are caught posing corpses in bizarre and humorous poses and taking photos, as opposed to respectfully dealing with the remains.

A woman in Daytona Beach Shores, FL is arrested for trying to set fire to her neighbors condo with a Molotov Cocktail. She was upset because the neighbor was purportedly using the internet. According to the woman, computers were used to murder people on the internet and weren't allowed on the property. It was all okay though because she stated she received a presidential pardon before she pumped the gas for her cocktails. What?

On this day in history: 

1959 - Failed baseball player Fidel Castro is sworn in as President For Life of Cuba

Horror Headline: Monday September 25th, 2009

If "Survival of the Dead" goes well, George Romero plans to make more sequels. At this point, "beating a dead horse" doesn't even apply anymore.

Early concept art for "Night of the Living Dead: Origins", the so-called "3D American Anime" remake of the Romero classic. Although, someone a lot nerdier than me is going to have to explain to you what the hell that means.

Danny Trejo scores a role in Robert Rodriguez's "Predators".

In Real People News: 

I don't know what kind of a person would complain about women taking their clothes off at an espresso bar, but I think it's safe to say that they're not very good Americans.

A great way to judge how terrible war can be, is by recalling the ways in which people try to get out of it..

Wow... this is just... wow.

On this day in history: 

1978: A nun at the Vatican discovers the lifeless body of Pope John Paul I, formerly Albino Luciani, in bed. The pontiff had been on the job only 33 days before unexpectedly dying in his sleep, after having taken some sort of pills with dinner. The church refuses to grant an autopsy.

Around the Web

Syndicate content

What's New?

So this one's quite the... head-scratcher...

Podcast

Let's talk about Ti West...

Podcast

Latest Reviews

Search

Around The Web