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Horror Headlines: Monday July 19th, 2010

Will Smith is set to drop beats, old school, as he signs on to The Legend of Cain, an epic story set around the biblical brothers Cain and Able. Smith will be playing Cain, the original badboy, with a vampiric bite.

Draco Malfoy a.k.a. Tom Felton is going to branch out from his bratty bad boy ways with a role in the 20th Century Fox sequel Rise of the Apes.

Are you a fan of elaborate special edition packages for your video game fix? You may want to check out the Zombrex Edition of Deadrising 2! For a fee of $79.99, you'll get the game as well as a heap of other shwag such as pens, notepads and more.

This past weekend AMC released the full list of writers and directors that will be heading up the first six episodes of "The Walking Dead".

In Real People News: 

Salt Lake City workers received a surprise as they forced water through a damn as part of an oil spill cleanup effort. The increased pressure coming from the lake's damn forced a corpse to float to the surface.

On this day in history: 

1692 - Five Salem witches are hung for the crime of witchcraft, based primarily on the accusations of little girls who were bewitched. Eventually, the village executes a total of 20 witches.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday July 6th, 2009

Gore Verbinski has surfaced from the depths to talk about the delays surrounding the big screen adaptation of 2K Games "Bioshock", sighting troubles of maintaining a manageable budget while keeping a hard R rating.

AMC made clear some time ago that director Frank Darabont would only be directing the pilot of their epic undead series "The Walking Dead". As the production of the show hits full steam, AMC starts to look towards their next director with their sites set firmly on "Breaking Bad" helmer Michelle Maxwell McLaren.

Nobody knows for sure what the viral "Patient Zero" is advertising, but the postcards handed out to patrons of this weekend's Anime Expo are intriguing at least.

Who is Roger Jackson? He's none other than that gravely voice we hear on the phone whenever Ghostface calls to flirt with Drew Barrymore in the "Scream" movies. Not that it makes much of a difference on the outcome of "Scream 4", Mr. Jackson has officially signed on to reprise his role.

In Real People News: 

Some guy in England thought it would be a good idea to make jelly out of a piece of Princess Di's hair. Surprisingly, he only made $10 off of his concoction on Ebay.

Indian police rescued a man who had been held prisoner in a 6 foot by 3 foot coffin since 2007.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday March 7th, 2010

20th Century Fox is starting its prep-work for a surprise prequel, "Planet of the Apes: Caesar". Planned to be attached to the Tim Burton remake, the new film will be directed by Rupert Wyatt.

Somebody needs to check Lloyd Kauffman to make sure he hasn't dropped dead from sheer happiness. Dutch TV giant Endemol has acquired the rights to the Toxic Avenger. They have planned a staggering four films, an animated TV series and comic books as well as they prepare to relaunch Toxie as a new 'green' super hero for today's environmentally conscious world.

The big screen adaptation of video game hit Gears of War hits development snags. With the budget cuts and Len Wiseman leaving the team, the writers are now reshaping the film's plot for something more mundane.

AMC's "The Walking Dead" has found its leading man as they have cast Andrew Lincoln as Rick Grimes. Hailing from the UK, you may recognize Lincoln from his roles in "Love Actually" or the series "Strike Back". Or, you may be like me and never heard of him at all! That's not a bad thing though.

In Real People News: 

Two women are busted trying to board a plane in Liverpool while trying to sneak their dead relative on board in a wheelchair. This scam is henceforth known as 'pulling a Bernie'.

If you're shopping for a present for that hard to shop for relative, you might want to contact Ross Talor. He'll be happy to whip you up a cane made out of Bull penis. Warning: If given to a male friend or relative, feelings of inadequacy are inevitable.

On this day in history: 

1970 - The X-rated movie Midnight Cowboy wins the Oscar for Best Picture.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday March 30th, 2010

With "Hot Tub Time Machine" being a moderate success, director Steve Pink is taking aim at a horror comedy for his next project. "The Werewolves of Reseda" will chronicle the suburban lives of werewolves and how it makes their lives better.

With today's rough economy, even our favorite screen stars are feeling the pinch. That's why you can now find Jason, Freddy and Chucky in recent Burger King ads.

According to Production Weekly, "Wanted" director Timur Bekmambetov will be tackling a classic as he has signed on to direct "The Casebook of Victor Frankenstein". A recent novel by Peter Ackroyd, the story tells of the days when Victor Frankenstein meets the lovely poet Percy Bysshe Shelley.

Frank Darabont must be doing something right as AMC has ordered up six episodes of "The Walking Dead", which has yet to begin filming or even cast its main star.

In Real People News: 

After meeting his Wiccan girlfriend just three days earlier, an Albuquerque man finds himself stabbed to death after asking his new girl if he could watch her pee. I'd take that as a 'no'.

After drunkenly asking a girl if she would be interested in a more intimate setting, the girl, her boyfriend and his best friend proceeded to strip the man down, beat him profusely and sodomize him with a mop handle until he died from internal injuries.

On this day in history: 

1968 - Two children in the Bowery come across the body of a homeless drug addict later identified as Bobby Driscol, 31, the voice of Disney's "Peter Pan".

Horror Headlines: Monday March 29th, 2010

We all know now that AMC is working on a "Walking Dead" pilot with director Frank Darabont. What we don't know is who is going to play the show's pivotal lead character Rick Grimes. There has been little speculation up until now, but sources reveal that Johny Lee Miller is currently a front runner for the role.

With MTV canceling the long running and factual portrayal "The Hills", Heidi Montag has set her sights on Hollywood to continue funding her plastic surgery addiction. Next on her slate of plans is writing the world's first 3D beach comedy about a killer shark that she fights off with her 3D DDD sized boobs. I'm not making this up.

The Syfy channel sets its sights high this summer as they plan the release of a new series, "Haven". Based on the Stephen King novella "The Colorado Kid", a tale of a FBI agent visiting Haven, Maine to discover that the entire town is an enclave that serves as refuge for people suffering from supernatural abilities. The show will star Emily Rose, Lucas Bryant and Eric Balfour.

In Real People News: 

Mafia kingpin Salvatore Lo Piccolo went back to court recently and won a pivotal case. Lo Piccolo, despite his murderous mafia ways, is a shy man. The case he won was to be able to poop in prison without being watched by security cams. That there is proof that the Italian justice system works folks.

An Indiana man walks into his local grocery store and begins attacking the hamburger patches with a large hunting knife, then covering the meat with dog food. When finally subdued, Anthony Coffman admits that he committed the act because God told him to save the girls from beef.

On this day in history: 

1979 - A U.S. House of Representatives committee report finds that John F. Kennedy's assassination was the result of a conspiracy.

Horror Headlines: Monday February 15th, 2010

With AMC's upcoming "The Walking Dead" series starting to gel, it's only natural that casting rumors would start flying, including rumors about the casting for the integral role of Rick Grimes. As with all rumors, they have to be taken with a grain of salt, but the three names supposedly in the running include Jamie Bamber from "Battlestar Galactica", Mark Pelligrino from "Dexter" and "Lost" and "Stewart Townsend". Of course this begs the question; who would be your choice to play Rick Grimes?

The vampire trend of the last few years is ready to die down as wolves step up to take their place. In keeping with the trend, Bradley Cooper will be re-teaming with Joe Carnahan in "The Grey" which pits the survivors of a plane crash against a pack of hungry wolves.

Word is circulating that Dark Castle Entertainment is on the verge of distributing Vincenzo Natali's "Splice". From what we've seen of early screen shots, this is exciting news.

In Real People News: 

80 year old Betty Oosterhouse has become the front runner in the "Bad Ass of the Year Contest". Suffering from having her teeth knocked out, her jaw broken, and knife held to her throat, the octogenarian managed to escape from her captor and flee to safety. When told that she would be let go if she gave up her PIN numbers Betty answered with "You'll have to kill me first".

A Stabroek woman was severely beaten by her boyfriend with a chunk of wood and cut with a rusty cutlass, all because she asked him to stop shitting in a plastic bag in the back yard and to use the indoor toilet.

On this day in history: 

1936 - The Volkswagon beetle is brought to life as Hitler challenges German industry to create the Volkswagon.

Horror Headlines: Thursday January 21st, 2010

Fans of the horror-oriented comic book "The Walking Dead" have reason to be more than a little giddy, as AMC has given the series the proverbial greenlight. Frank Darabont is tentatively set to write, direct, and produce.

Bummed that Danny Elfman's score for "The Wolfman" got dropped from the film? Get ready to throw away your anti-depressants, because Elfman's work has been put back into the upcoming remake by Universal. Rejoice.

If you watch only one horror-related trailer during your lunch break today, make sure it's the new preview for Henry Saine's horror/comedy "The Last Lovecraft: Relic Of Cthulu" Trust me on this one.

In an attempt to sway comic book fans into the unstoppable cult of "Twilight", Yen Press is preparing to unleash a graphic novel based on Stephenie Meyer's popular characters this March. You may now sparkle freely.

In Real People News: 

Want to really cheese off your next-door neighbor? Once he's fast asleep, sneak cautiously into his backyard and urinate all over his precious garden.After all, if there's one thing everyone hates, it's urination.

According to felons in the know, the best way to incapacitate a police officer during a fist fight is to bite down firmly on their respective nipples and quickly pull them off. Whatever happened to a good, old-fashioned round of fisticuffs?

If the punks on their skateboards and the hippies playing drums weren't enough to work your nerves, now you've gotta look out for the people having simulated sex with trees whenever you go to the park. I believe I'll be staying inside today.

On this day in history: 

1793: The King of France, Louis XVI, is guillotined at age 39.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday August 12th, 2009

Frank Darabont is looking to shoot an adaptation of the graphic novel series "The Walking Dead", as a television series for AMC. That's one you don't hear every day.

Check out some decent "Zombieland" virals, each one containing a Zombieland "rule", brought to you by Woody Harrelson. Not the worst thing I've ever seen.

"2001 Maniacs: Beverly Hellbillys", the sequel to Tim Sullivan's "2001 Maniacs", has officially wrapped shooting. Expect to hear more from this project in the near future.

Do I want to see a horror/comedy called "Dahmer vs Gacey"? Well, no actually, I don't. But I'll let you make up your own mind.

In Real People News: 

Ah man, there are some things you just don't do, and groping Minnie Mouse is one of them. The Magic Kingdom definitely frowns upon that sort of thing.

Why is it that no matter what the story is, The Daily Mail finds a way to compare it to "Dr. Who"? What do you guys get like 1 television station over there?

Florida man arrested for child porn, blames it on his cat. Surprisingly, the authorities weren't convinced.

On this day in history: 

30 BC: Cleoptara, Queen of Egypt and former wife to Julius Caesar, commits suicide by means of venomous snakebite to the mammary gland.

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