battleship

Horror Headlines: Monday, April 30th, 2011

It looks like everyone's favorite sailor boy Sam Raimi has been confirmed to produce the upcoming "Poltergeist" remake. This puts an end to the rumors that he would be taking the director's chair for the film. But if not him then who!? And why do we call him "sailor boy"? It's almost like I'm making all of this up or something.

Fans of "The Ring" will be excited, shocked, disgusted and/or neutral on the news that there may be another film in the works. According to Paramount Film Group president Adam Goodman there's an idea being tossed around that would see the next installment in the film series going the found footage route. Ya know, cause why not?

I don't want to say this is the worst news day ever but I'm about to give you an update on casting for "Wrong Turn 5". Ready? Simon Ginty, Oliver Hoare, Amy Lennox, Paul Luebke, Duncan Wisbey, Kyle Redmond-Jones and Peter Brooke are all in. I honestly have no idea who any of these people are.

Blah blah blah Asylum is making a "Battleship" rip off called "American Battleship" and Universal is pissed about it and going to sue. They're just mad because they didn't think of putting Carl Weathers in his Apollo Creed shorts on the poster. Ya know, cause it's a lot cheaper to get Carl Weathers than Rihanna. I just assume.

Horror Headlines: Friday, December 9th, 2011

What are you doing April 12th, 2013? Washing your hair?! How can you possibly have plans already? Well you might want to cancel them because that's the date you'll finally get a chance to see the "Evil Dead" remake in theaters. And in turn that's the date you'll finally get a chance to lose your shit over the "Evil Dead" remake because you think it's a pile of garbage and the original is sacred and girls didn't talk to you in High School and now that your acne has cleared up they should probably give you a chance. All of those things will happen.

Alexandre Aja, the fella who directed the "Piranha" and "The Hills Have Eyes" remakes has officially been tapped to directed the upcoming big screen adaptation of Joe Hill's "Horns". The books tells the tale of a man who awakes one morning after a night of hard drinking to find he's sprouting horns out of his head. Then a bunch of other stuff happens, like he finds out who killed his girlfriend and stuff. There's some snakes too. The point is I read the book and I want people to know I'm literate.

Horror hot pocket Neil Marshal (I don't know what that means) is being eyed by the good people at CBS Films for their upcoming film titled "Hellfest". The film is about a Halloween themed park where one of the workers is actually going around killing people. This all sounds pretty awesome to me. The director, the story... the killing... well alright the killing part isn't awesome. Ya know, in real life and all. In the movie it's probably going to be cool. And I love roller coasters.

The trailer for "Battleship", a movie about the classic board game, hit a couple months back and looked like one of the most ridiculous things to ever be put on film. But reasoning be damned because Peter Berg is already talking about a sequel. And why shouldn't he. They've made three of those "Alvin and the Chipmunks" movies already and two "Garfield" movies. Alright to be 100% honest I watched the first Chipmunks movie over Thanksgiving break and it was delightful. They're so tiny and adorable.