Horror Headlines: Monday August 15th, 2011
If you liked "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" then get ready because it looks like the writers have a trilogy in mind. Or have always had in mind. How quickly they decided this after the film made a boat load of money no one knows but let's pretend it was always the plan. That makes it nicer.
It looks like the long awaited sequel to "The Wicker Man", the original not the Nic Cage masterpiece, titled "The Wicker Tree" will hit theaters in early 1012 thanks for the good people at Anchor Bay. The sequel tells the story of two newcomers who come to Scotland only to run into a strange group of religious fanatics. I hope they wear weird animal head dresses again.
Showtime is pushing the "Dexter" promos so much you'd almost think season 6 isn't still a month and a half away. But anyway there's a new poster for your peepers to view and it's crafty because it's got Dexter with a bunch of blood behind him. But wait, the blood looks like wings. You just mind f'ed me lonely designer who spent hours on this and 74 other posters only to have some jackass on a horror website mock it. I'm so sorry.
Good news America. It looks like Tom Six will be setting "The Human Centipede 3" in the good old U.S. of A. Wait, it gets better. According to Six the third installment will make the second look like a "Disney film". I love Disney films so I can't wait for the second, which will see a limited release in the states on October 7th. Disney films and America? I believe you have warmed your way into my heart Mr. Six.
I'm not sure what kind of standards Olympic skiers have to live up to in the US but I'm pretty sure urinating on an 11 year old on a flight is not considered appropriate. Unfortunately that's just what an 18 year old team member did on a red eye flight to NY the other day. But hey the swimmer guy smoked a lot of pot. That's worse, right?
If you've ever driven through Pennsylvania than you know those back woods hicks drive like mental patients. To drive home the point here's a lovely story about an Aunt who didn't think she could handle getting out of a tight parking spot. Her solution to the problem? Having her six year old niece give it a go. Sure, why not.