Tobey Maguire

Horror Headlines: Wednesday, August 15th, 2012

Oikos Greek yogurt is on sale at the Palisades Park NJ Shop Rite. 10 for 10 bucks. RUN! Don't walk.

I'm just going to come out and say it. Tobey Maguire is a creepy little man child. He weirds me out and I haven't slept well since I knew he existed. And now he's been added to the cast of the big screen adaptation of "Z for Zachariah". The film tells the story of a girl who runs the only farm left on the planet with breathable air after the world ends. Well I mean I guess it doesn't end. She's alive. People come and meet her. This doesn't sound so bad after all.

Everyone's favorite.... I don't really know, Lara Jean Chorostecki has been added ot the cast of the upcoming NBC show "Hannibal". She'll play Freddy Lounds in the series I've explained too many times to count so I'm not going to bother doing it again. I've still only seen "Silence Of the Lambs" so I have no clue what all this means.

Terry Crews is both lovable and frightening. It's kind of amazing. I wish I was him... a lot. And now he's been cast in "Scary Movie 5", a film which is both unnecessary and not wanted. Wait no, those two things mean the same thing. I'm awful at this. Anyway I don't know what role he's going to play but if I was going to guess I would say big hulky man who is afraid of everything. Just taking a shot here.

I know we're all still very upset about K-Stew-Pat-Son Gate 2012 and I'm not sure this new development is going to make things any better. It looks like Kristen Stewart has in fact been dropped from the sequel to "Snow White and the Huntsman." I know, it hurts. Apparently there's three films planned and K-Stew will no long appear in any of them. They may also go back and digitally remove her from the DVD version of the first film. Probably not though.

In Real People News: 

Remember that old SNL skit where Dan Aykroyd plays a sleazy toy maker and one of the toys he tries to sell kids is a broken bag of glass? Well I think this woman from Oklahoma saw it too because she' under arrest for spanking her 5 year old son with just that. Seriously, the skit is hilarious.

Looks like one of the guys who invented Crocs has been picked up for drunk driving. Wait no, it gets better, apparently he blamed his drunken antics on his girlfriend. Who did he claim was his girlfriend? Well Taylor Swift of course. I'll be honest I don't believe she's his girlfriend but I 100% believe this is all her fault.

Horror Headlines: Monday, March 12th, 2011

If forced at gun point to pick a favorite The Real Housewives show I would have to go with "The Real Housewives Of Orange County". It's the original so it'll always hold a place in my heart. Yes I know New Jersey brings the drama but if you didn't cry this season when Tamra and Gretchen became friends then you probably don't have a heart.

Sony Pictures has snatched up the rights to "Lockdown At Franklin High", a new monster flick set in a High School. Joe Ballarini and Gregg Bishop, the super duo behind "Dance Of The Dead" penned the script and none other than Mr. Michael Bay himself is apparently in talks to produce the film. You know what that means fellas. Supermodels who can hardly speak English!

The "Robocop" remake is on the fact track all of the sudden. It seemed like just a couple weeks ago we had no director, leading man or release date. Now the holy trinity is complete with the announcement that it'll hit theaters on August 9, 2013. Yes that's over almost a year and a half away but I'm confident with some hard work and a little bit of elbow grease we can all make this happen on time.

A while back we told you about the short film "Myctophobia" and how our friends over at Drunken Zombie were on the prowl for funding to get the project off the ground. Well it looks like all that shaking babies and kissing hands worked because today they've got a trailer for the project that will premier at Days Of The Dead in Indianapolis July 7th. So.. you're welcome and stuff.

I have no problem with Tobey Maguire but for some reason his name makes me want to punch him in the face. This in no way has anything to do with his production company Material Pictures going full steam ahead with a new alien flick titled "Fifth Wave" but I thought you might want to know. GK Films also has there tootsies in this hot tub about a girl searching for her brother after an alien invasion. What a gross word. Tootsies.

In Real People News: 

The worst possible way to start off your vacation is sitting on a plane while the flight attendant is being kicked off for telling everyone the plane is going to crash. Well I'm sure there are worse things but that's got to be in the top 20 for sure.

You must feel like king of the world when you're crowned Pokémon Champion so in turn there must be no worse feeling on the planet than having that titled stripped away from you after the judges learn that you snuck out into a hotel hallway the night before and took a crap on the floor. Only Vanessa Williams could possible know this kind of pain.

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