The Haunted Mansion

Disney is making a "Haunted Mansion" Cartoon Special and It's Going to Be Awesome and You Can Shut Your Mouth

If there's one thing I love in this world, other than the whole family thing and stuff, it's Disney. It makes me happy and when I'm at the parks I smile like a mental patient and if you don't enjoy that sort of thing I assume you're dead inside and listen to a lot of Radiohead.

And if there's one thing I love in the parks more than anything, it's the Haunted Mansion ride. Now, the good people at Disney have announced they're working with illustrator Gris Grimly and "Phineas and Ferb" co-creator Dan Povenmireon on a animated special for their Disney Channel.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

The nautical chaps over at Anchor Bay have picked up the rights to "The Demented", a new flick about a group of friends who find themselves under attack by rabid townies while on vacation. I assume there will be nudity.

Two years Guillermo del Toro ago dropped that he would be working on a new big screen version of my beloved Disney ride "The Haunted Mansion". I wake up every morning hoping there is news on the project but alas, there has been none. Until today! D-Tors dropped knowledge that he has in fact handed in a draft of the script and is awaiting feedback. He very much still wants to make the film and may even direct, he was originally slated to produce and write. It's hard to explain just how excited I am about this. I throw up every day I get so excited.

Remember that guy from "The Loved Ones" who got kidnapped and all kinds of messed up? I mean he's the main character so if you don't remember him then something might be wrong with you. Well his name is Xavier Samuel and it looks like he's joined the cast of "Plush" about a singer of a band, or something, that gets caught up with a new guitar player who is a prick, or something. Honestly I don't get the plot and it sounds stupid but hey. "The Loved Ones" was pretty cool so let's get excited.

So here's a movie called "Strip Mahjong: Battle Royale". If you couldn't have guessed it's a Japanese flick and if you don't know what Mahjong is it doesn't really matter. The movie is ridiculous. And it's going to be awesome. Watch it, now.

In Real People News: 

A woman in China has come up with a clever idea on how to stop speeders in her hometown. Apparently she's taken it upon herself to tie a sex doll to a tree on a busy street in hopes that the doll will distract speeders and make them slow down. I don't see how anything can go wrong with this idea.

If you attack a cop and try to bite him you're pretty much guaranteed to be spending some time in jail. But if you do the crane stance from Karate Kid before you make your rush, well that's pretty awesome.

Horror Headlines: Friday, January 20th, 2012

Few details have been released around the Ben Affleck fronted retelling of Stephen King's "The Stand" but today it looks like the project finally has a writer. "Blood Creek" writer David Kajganich has been tapped to take on the task of adapting King's book, which has already been made into a TV series so my guess is he'll just find that script and do the old "save as" in Microsoft word and call it a day. That's what I'd do anyway. Maybe take out any reference to Molly Ringwald.

If you've been sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for more details on the Tom Cruise alien battle flick "Oblivion" then today is your lucky day. It's been confirmed that both Andrea Riseborough and Olga Kurylenko have signed on to the cast, one playing his current girlfriend and the other playing the women he falls for. God I can't wait to find out which is which. I hope Olga wins his heart, only because her name is Olga though. You don't mess with an Olga.

I fancy myself a big Disneyworld fan and an uber Haunted Mansion buff so I'm as giddy as a little school girl at at some of the new collectibles Disney will be releasing this year at their parks. Namely a new kick ass Haunted Mansion time piece that's a bargain at any price and makes a great birthday gift for the special BGH news writer in your life. That's me, I'm that person, in case you were wondering.

Lastly it looks like Thomas Jane, Billy Bob Thornton and James Marsden have all been cast in a new flick titled "Red Machine". The movie focuses on two estranged brothers who try to patch up their relationship during a camping trip with their signification others. Unfortunately for them though they end up being stalked by a killer bear. So we've now got Billy Bob Thornton battling bears. Your move, Liam Neeson fighting wolves.

In Real People News: 

Here's a video of an 8 year old performing her first hardcore song. This is my dream for what my daughter will become and my wife's worst nightmare.

I didn't realize there were still door to door salesmen but apparently there are because here's a story about one in North Carolina who talked his way into a woman's home and refused to leave until she A. bought some magazines or B. had sex with him. It's a tough choice. Do they still makes Highlights magazine? If not then I'd go with A.

Horror Headlines: Thursday July 29th, 2010

Another 3D poster for the upcoming "Saw 3D" film has popped up and it's everything you'd ever want and more. Just in case you forgot the producers wanted to make sure you know that "Saw 3D" will be the most 3D movie to ever grace the 3D screens in your 3D theater... 3D.

According to The Hollywood Reporter those nutty Weinstein's are still very much full steam ahead with remakes of "Hellraiser" and "Children of the Corn". Not enough for you? Well how about another "Scary Movie" for you to LOL at? There, I thought that would make you feel better.

Rumor has it that Timur Bekmambetov might be taking the directors role for the upcoming "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" film. The only other film I've seen of his is "Wanted" and I kind of liked it so sorry I just don't have anything sarcastic to say about this one.

Guillermo del Toro sat down with the kids over at MTV to talk about his ideas for the new "The Haunted Mansion" film which was recently announced at Comic-Con. I'm going to go ahead an apologize now for pretty much talking about it every time Del Toro takes a dump until this movie comes out.

In Real People News: 

I'll admit I'm a dumb guy and know nothing about planning a wedding. But I'm pretty sure I know more about it than the couple in Huston who scheduled their wedding in the Museum of Natural Science at the same time that the museum's "corpse flower" is scheduled to bloom.

And here's another reason why having kids is a bad idea. A 12 year old in New York called 911 to report that her mother was drunk driving. Sure the kid may of saved some lives by doing so but at the end of the day no one likes a snitch.

On this day in history: 

1945 - A U.S. Army bomber crashed into the 79th floor of New York City's Empire State Building, killing 14 people.

Horror Headlines: Friday July 23rd, 2010

The fine people behind the upcoming "Saw 3D" release have put out a pretty dandy 3D poster that will blow your little peepers out of their sockets. There's also a solid chance this will be the best part of this movie, so enjoy it while it lasts.

"Dexter Early Cuts: Dark Echo", which is a brand spanking new animated webisode found it's way to Comic Con and the internerds are all a flutter. The web series gives us all a chance to see what went on in our favorite serial killer's life before the show started. In episode three he goes out an buys all those cool cabana shirts.

Fresh from Comic Con comes news that Guillermo del Toro is going to be making a "Haunted Mansion" movie based on the Disney ride. I can't even begin to explain how excited I am about this but apparently they aren't going to be asking Eddie Murphy to join the cast. Am I the only one who enjoyed the last one? I can't be alone here.

In order to build up the hype around it's estimated 2014 release the fine people behind the "Night Of The Demons" remake have released a poster. Alright the 2014 thing is kind of bullshit, it just feels like we've been talking about this masterpiece forever now. You can't rush Shannon Elizabeth and her perfection.

If you loved "The Mutant Chronicles", and honestly who didn't, you'll be excited to know that its creator Simon Hunter is currently working on a new a new flick titled "Safe House". I'll be honest, I didn't like "The Mutant Chronicles" and I could care less about this, but I thought I should post one thing that didn't come out of Comic Con.

In Real People News: 

I would love to mock this guy in South Carolina who was killed after he got drunk and tried to high five a train but I can't. Not because I'm a sensitive person and it isn't cool to make fun of the dead but because I've gotten pretty wasted and tried to slap the subway a number of times.

A two headed bearded dragon sounds like the most frightening thing Jesus even invented but honestly it's adorable. The kind of adorable that makes you want to go out and slap a train.

On this day in history: 

1984 - Vanessa Williams became the first Miss America to resign her title, because of nude photographs published in Penthouse magazine.

Around the Web

Syndicate content

What's New?

This week we discuss alchemy, camera technology, a first time guest host joins the show, and we review "As Above, So Below".  

Podcast

Latest Reviews

Search

Around The Web