Pirhana 3D

Horror Headlines: Thursday July 15th, 2010

Fans of director Adam Green have reason to be extra happy this morning. Anchor Bay has announced that they will release the ski slope shocker "Frozen" on DVD and Blu-ray this September. Although the premise sounds a little goofy, the film looks absolutely fantastic. Personally, I can't wait.

IFC will unleash director Stuart Hazeldine's psychological thriller "Exam" to VOD on July 23rd. The film in question looks like a peculiar mix of "Saw" and "Cube", with a bit of David Fincher thrown in for good measure. However, depending on who you are, this might not be a recipe for delicious cinematic success.

In order to get misshapen butts into theater seats, Dimension is promoting Piranha 3D with a series of posters featuring the several scantily-clad women on a boat. Isn't this supposed to be a horror movie? I know genre fans are unnaturally obsessed with naked women, but this just sad. And people wonder why I'm not overly excited about this one.

In Real People News: 

If you need another excuse not to run with the bulls, behold the poor bastard who had his groin savaged by a large, angry animal with murder on its tiny mind. Although it pains me greatly to say it, but the guy had it coming. When you put yourself in these situations, you have to expect a little testicular carnage.

I always knew that the freakshows who play games all day on Facebook are seriously deranged. After all, hosing the blood of maladjusted teenagers off the sidewalk isn't too far removed from "Cafe World".

On this day in history: 

1974 - Florida newscaster Chris Chubbuck committs suicide on live television.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday June 3rd, 2009

The director of "Ultraviolet" has been tapped to write and direct the remake of "Total Recall". The film will not go back to the original source material, Phillip K. Dick's novel "We Can Remember it For You Wholesale", but will rather be a direct remake of the film.

So I'm sitting here, wondering to myself, how you call this a remake of "Scream" when in the announcement you discuss getting original actors back in their original roles. Isn't that just... you know... a sequel?

I can't possibly be the only one who's a tad uncomfortable by Elizabeth Shue's giant muscles from this paprazzi pic on the set of "Piranha 3d", could I?

The lovely Courtney Ford, who should be familiar to you from the highly recommended scifi romp "Alien Raiders", has just joined Season 4 of the hit Showtime series "Dexter". She will play "a reporter who crosses paths with our favorite forensics expert/serial killer, Dexter Morgan".

Reports are coming in that the first trailer for "The Final Destination" will be landing in some theaters this Friday. So keep your eyes peeled when you go back to see "Drag Me To Hell" for the fourth time, k?

In Real People News: 

Woman loses 95 pounds over 8 months by restricting her diet to only 13-15 Red Bull's a day, has a heart attack. Bummer, you were THIS close. Doctors also claim she went through "widthdrawals" while in the hospital, typically seen in hardcore drug addicts.

Thank God I never have to worry about having my corpse cut up so it will fit inside a coffin because I'm too tall. No, I suppose all I have to worry about is being stuffed into a box with another short person to try and save space. Ah shit, that doesn't sound very fun either.

On this day in history: 

1791: The French Assembly passes a resolution bringing decapitation to the common criminal: "Every person condemned to the death penalty shall have his head severed."

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