Courtney Ford

Horror Headlines: Friday November 12th, 2010

If you're like me then you're still climaxing from the new "Season of the Witch" poster we talked about yesterday. Well get ready to reload because here's a new trailer for the Nic Cage flick. God I pray you're nothing like me, it's sad sad existence.

Great news for all you sickos who love looking at young Asian girls dressed up in school uniforms. "Battle Royale" looks to be finally making it's way to US theaters and in 3D no less. It's been ten years since the film warmed it's way into the hearts of deviants and it's about time that it was presented to the "hole in the bottom of the popcorn" crowd.

Courtney Ford will be joining the cast of next season's "True Blood". Ford will play a southern bell who owns her own law firm and I assume she'll end up screwing someone and turning into the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Darren Lynn Bousman, the guy who's currently working on the "Mothers Day" remake is also working on a new film called "11-11-11". The film focuses on a bunch of people who have guardian angels and the rest of the plot confuses me and the fact that it's all based on a date on the calender already annoyed me. Oh and it'll be released on December 21st, 2012. I kid!

In Real People News: 

Alright we all agree that assaulting a cop is bad but just think about how much worse is it to assault a cop with a dildo. What makes it worse? Doing it after walking out on your bill at Joe's Crab Shack. You enjoyed those delicious crabs now you pay for them, asshole!

I'd love to make fun of this guy from Idaho but I really can't. He was arrested shortly after robbing an inn when police found him hiding out at the bar right next to the scene of the crime. People get thirsty, it happens.

On this day in history: 

2001 – In New York City, American Airlines Flight 587, an Airbus A300 en route to the Dominican Republic, crashes minutes after takeoff from John F. Kennedy International Airport, killing all 260 on board and five on the ground.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday June 3rd, 2009

The director of "Ultraviolet" has been tapped to write and direct the remake of "Total Recall". The film will not go back to the original source material, Phillip K. Dick's novel "We Can Remember it For You Wholesale", but will rather be a direct remake of the film.

So I'm sitting here, wondering to myself, how you call this a remake of "Scream" when in the announcement you discuss getting original actors back in their original roles. Isn't that just... you know... a sequel?

I can't possibly be the only one who's a tad uncomfortable by Elizabeth Shue's giant muscles from this paprazzi pic on the set of "Piranha 3d", could I?

The lovely Courtney Ford, who should be familiar to you from the highly recommended scifi romp "Alien Raiders", has just joined Season 4 of the hit Showtime series "Dexter". She will play "a reporter who crosses paths with our favorite forensics expert/serial killer, Dexter Morgan".

Reports are coming in that the first trailer for "The Final Destination" will be landing in some theaters this Friday. So keep your eyes peeled when you go back to see "Drag Me To Hell" for the fourth time, k?

In Real People News: 

Woman loses 95 pounds over 8 months by restricting her diet to only 13-15 Red Bull's a day, has a heart attack. Bummer, you were THIS close. Doctors also claim she went through "widthdrawals" while in the hospital, typically seen in hardcore drug addicts.

Thank God I never have to worry about having my corpse cut up so it will fit inside a coffin because I'm too tall. No, I suppose all I have to worry about is being stuffed into a box with another short person to try and save space. Ah shit, that doesn't sound very fun either.

On this day in history: 

1791: The French Assembly passes a resolution bringing decapitation to the common criminal: "Every person condemned to the death penalty shall have his head severed."

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