the box

I like when movies that didn't do well put all kinds of special features on the DVD and Blue-Ray to trick you into thinking the movie is great. "The Box" for example has writer/director Richard Kelly babbling on about how clever the story is in the clip you can check out below. I'll agree the guy has talent but just because Joe Eszterhas wrote "Showgirls" doesn't mean I want to hear him talk about "Basic Instinct 2". See what I did there?

This week the crew discusses Richard Kelly's "The Box".

If the moderate temperatures (in the Northeast, anyway) and blockbuster fare at the box office have anyone feeling a little confused, well, join the club. It turns out though, that Sony's idea of rolling out their late season tentpole "2012," on this the 46th weekend of the year, has some precedent. In fact, you have to go all the way back to 2002 before you hit a group of new releases that doesn't feature a $150+ million film. So we probably should be thinking of the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving as a mini-blockbuster season.

If you're wondering why Milla is so startled, it might have have something to do with the fact that her snoozy alien abduction pic posted a surprisingly nice opening. Coming in at $12.5 million, "The Fourth Kind" was strong enough for a fourth place finish in a crowded weekend that included four new films. "Fourth Kind" managed to outperform the other new horror flick of the week, Richard Kelly's "The Box," which slunk home just shy of $8 million.

Zombieland? No, STAKE LAND, you dumb bitch! With the exception of the stupid tagline-- “A road movie...with teeth!” -- I think this might be cool. But, seriously, what is the deal with vampire film promotions and the use of the cliches “...with teeth!” or “...with bite!” Do you think that, the PR people, when sitting around in their offices, shooting wads of paper into a waste-basket with a basketball hoop over it, stumbling over one tagline after another that doesn't work, when they hit upon the “teeth” thing they high-five each other and snort coke off each other's balls in a celebratory circle-jerk because they think that they are the first ones to come up with it? They probably do.

Amy Heckerling, the has-been director of “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”, “Clueless” and some other shit, has signed on to direct the vampire romantic comedy “Vamps”, about “two young female vampires living the good life in New York until love enters the picture and each has to make a choice that will jeopardize their immort....”, oh shit, sorry, I just got my period all over the place. And on the day I chose to wear white pants!

Notorious schillers Bloody Disgusting have proclaimed that no-hit wonder Richard Kelly's “The Box” is “sure to deliver in more ways than one”. I learned this after trying to figure out how to close the annoying, full-screen roll-over ad for the damn movie, with absolutely no success. I ended up just opening another window to look at another site as the trailer continued to screen without any hope of skipping it. I think that, right now, we should all get on our knees and thank Eric and Mark for creating a website with no roll-over ads, pop-up ads or reviews based on how much the advertisers pay us. On the other hand, DRINK PEPSI, THE CHOICE OF A NEW GENERATION!

Richard Kelly's "The Box" has been pushed back a week to November 6th, 2009. The studio is continuing their trend of treating this film like a dirty whore, so I wouldn't set your heart on a release date until you're actually sitting in a seat.

So, yesterday Lindsday Lohan seemed to indicate via her twitter page that she had signed on to Robert Rodriguez's "Machete". A quick perusal of the page now reveals that the tweets in question have been deleted. So... that may or may not have happened.

Zac Efron has signed on to do a thriller for Mandate Pictuers, from the writer who brought you "Hairspray". You know what, that's just too easy.

The "Sorority Row" remake gets moved up, from October 2nd to September 11th.

The trailer for Richard Kelly's "The Box" has finally landed. This actually looks really solid considering it's been pushed back so many times. But opening opposite "Saw"? Really? Sort of sounds like giving it an excuse to fail to me.