the box

Video: Richard Kelly Talks About "The Box"

I like when movies that didn't do well put all kinds of special features on the DVD and Blue-Ray to trick you into thinking the movie is great. "The Box" for example has writer/director Richard Kelly babbling on about how clever the story is in the clip you can check out below. I'll agree the guy has talent but just because Joe Eszterhas wrote "Showgirls" doesn't mean I want to hear him talk about "Basic Instinct 2". See what I did there?

Episode 97 - "The Box"

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This week the crew discusses Richard Kelly's "The Box".

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Box Office Special - "2012" Splits the Uprights

If the moderate temperatures (in the Northeast, anyway) and blockbuster fare at the box office have anyone feeling a little confused, well, join the club. It turns out though, that Sony's idea of rolling out their late season tentpole "2012," on this the 46th weekend of the year, has some precedent. In fact, you have to go all the way back to 2002 before you hit a group of new releases that doesn't feature a $150+ million film. So we probably should be thinking of the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving as a mini-blockbuster season.

Box Office Special - Abductions Trump "Box"

If you're wondering why Milla is so startled, it might have have something to do with the fact that her snoozy alien abduction pic posted a surprisingly nice opening. Coming in at $12.5 million, "The Fourth Kind" was strong enough for a fourth place finish in a crowded weekend that included four new films. "Fourth Kind" managed to outperform the other new horror flick of the week, Richard Kelly's "The Box," which slunk home just shy of $8 million.

Horror Headlines: Friday November 6th, 2009

Thanks God this Halloween crap is over. Why don't horror fans get as excited about Thanksgiving? I'll take turkey and potatoes any day over bullshit candy. Grow up, people. Put on some khakis, that sweater your grandma made you and give thanks that we live in a country that allows a pathetic, 30-year-old man the right to spend $300 at a Halloween store for a crappy Freddy outfit that they are way too fat to wear. Amen. Pass the stuffing.

Zombieland? No, STAKE LAND, you dumb bitch! With the exception of the stupid tagline-- “A road movie...with teeth!” -- I think this might be cool. But, seriously, what is the deal with vampire film promotions and the use of the cliches “...with teeth!” or “...with bite!” Do you think that, the PR people, when sitting around in their offices, shooting wads of paper into a waste-basket with a basketball hoop over it, stumbling over one tagline after another that doesn't work, when they hit upon the “teeth” thing they high-five each other and snort coke off each other's balls in a celebratory circle-jerk because they think that they are the first ones to come up with it? They probably do.

Amy Heckerling, the has-been director of “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”, “Clueless” and some other shit, has signed on to direct the vampire romantic comedy “Vamps”, about “two young female vampires living the good life in New York until love enters the picture and each has to make a choice that will jeopardize their immort....”, oh shit, sorry, I just got my period all over the place. And on the day I chose to wear white pants!

Notorious schillers Bloody Disgusting have proclaimed that no-hit wonder Richard Kelly's “The Box” is “sure to deliver in more ways than one”. I learned this after trying to figure out how to close the annoying, full-screen roll-over ad for the damn movie, with absolutely no success. I ended up just opening another window to look at another site as the trailer continued to screen without any hope of skipping it. I think that, right now, we should all get on our knees and thank Eric and Mark for creating a website with no roll-over ads, pop-up ads or reviews based on how much the advertisers pay us. On the other hand, DRINK PEPSI, THE CHOICE OF A NEW GENERATION!

In Real People News: 

A Denver Blockbuster video employee stabbed himself in the leg to get out of work because he was afraid of getting written up for his torn work-pants. Whatever happened to faking diarrhea? Hell, I almost faked diarrhea just to get out of writing today's news!

Have you ever wanted to die, just to see how people at your funeral would react? A Brazilian bricklayer, thought to have been killed an a car-crash days earlier, showed up at his own funeral. According to witnesses, a loud “DUN-DUN-DUNNNN!” played on the soundtrack while an aged dowager proclaimed “Gasp and swoon, I've got the vapors!” while passing out in the most dramatic way possible.

A Dallas Cowboys cheerleader is in deep diarrhea after donning black-face to complete a Li'l Wayne costume. When are white people gonna learn that there's no place for black-face in today's culture, especially when entertainers like Li'l Wayne do a good enough job of putting it on themselves?

On this day in history: 

In 1918, The Second Polish Republic is proclaimed in Poland. The celebration was put on hold though as the country's citizens were unable to get out from inside their locked cars. Don't get me started on the screen-door submarine fleet! POLISH!

Horror Headlines: Monday August 3rd, 2009

Richard Kelly's "The Box" has been pushed back a week to November 6th, 2009. The studio is continuing their trend of treating this film like a dirty whore, so I wouldn't set your heart on a release date until you're actually sitting in a seat.

So, yesterday Lindsday Lohan seemed to indicate via her twitter page that she had signed on to Robert Rodriguez's "Machete". A quick perusal of the page now reveals that the tweets in question have been deleted. So... that may or may not have happened.

In Real People News: 

There is now an online archive of the biggest criminal trials from the 18th, 29th and 20th centuries. The archive does include the trial of "Jack The Ripper", Dr Thomas Neil Cream, who confessed to the murders despite the fact that he had been in jail when some of them had been committed.

If you're going to pass a bad check, you might not want to have it be to a voodoo priestess. I hear they're pretty good at the whole revenge thing.

These declassified Russian documents on UFO's are pretty saucy... at least if you're like me and love a good UFO conspiracy theory. Check it out.

On this day in history: 

1966: Comedian and social critic Lenny Bruce dies of a morphine overdose in his Hollywood Hills home, two years after his original obituary was published in The Realist. At the time of his death, Bruce was being maliciously harassed by police and districts attorney in various states for his groundbreaking standup performances, causing great difficulty in finding venues at which to perform.

Horror Headlines: Thursday June 25th, 2009

Zac Efron has signed on to do a thriller for Mandate Pictuers, from the writer who brought you "Hairspray". You know what, that's just too easy.

The "Sorority Row" remake gets moved up, from October 2nd to September 11th.

The trailer for Richard Kelly's "The Box" has finally landed. This actually looks really solid considering it's been pushed back so many times. But opening opposite "Saw"? Really? Sort of sounds like giving it an excuse to fail to me.

In Real People News: 

Bumfight erupts over a conversation on quantum physics. Why homeless men were debating the splitting of atoms... your guess is as good as mine. What I do know is the weapon of choice was a skateboard, which makes the story even wackier.

Even if you believe this odd piece of Chinese folklore stating that drinking soup made from a man's brain would cure mental illness, do you really think the ideal brain would be that of a drunk 75 year old? Let's set our sights a little higher here, people.

On this day in history: 

1876: Custer's last stand. After being tricked into thinking his Indian adversaries were retreating during the Battle of Little Bighorn, Custer and his 210 men were ambushed, with all losing their lives. He was found two days later almost entirely naked, with an arrow through his penis.

Horror Headlines: Friday April 3rd, 2009

Check out 3 stills from the "Saw" video game, a project which we knew was in development but haven't heard anything about in a long time. The game from Konami is set to hit shelves for the 360, PS3 and the PC this October, to coincide with the release of "Saw VI". Sounds smart to me.

"Cirque Du Freak" has a new release date, January 10th, 2009. The film stars Salma Hayek, John C. Reilly and Orlando Jones, and is about a vampire who drafts a 14 year old to serve as his assistant. This date puts it on the (for now) same date as the US remake of "Let The Right One In". Thinking about all those vampire movies in one weekend is making me sick to my stomach already.

Richard Kelly hits up his Myspace to set the record straight on all things "The Box", his latest film set for release opposite "Saw VI" this October. If you take his words at face value, he seems to be tempering the bad buzz that all of the release date shifts have caused. Then again, doesn't every director do that? I guess we'll find out who was right in about 6 months.

I don't know anything about this movie other than the fact that it's called "Slave" and stars Natassia Malthe. And strangely, that's enough for me.

In Real People News: 

British man has hand chopped off in bar fight, and doesn't seem to notice, as he started to beat his assailant with the bloody stump. Later on as he was being taken to the hospital, paramedics overheard him rambling on about how it was "merely a flesh wound".

Funeral director takes cues from an awesome episode of "Tales From the Crypt", cuts off man's legs to make him fit into a smaller coffin. The only difference is instead of this one ending with the man being reanimated and taking his revenge, the guy just got arrested. Bummer... I always liked that ending.

Unemployed workers in Michigan turning to road kill for sustenance, joking about how Cannibalism is next. Consider yourselves warned, Michiganites.

On this day in history: 

1996: The Unabomber, Theodore Kaczynski is arrested in his Lincoln, Montana cabin. After eluding capture for years on end, he was finally caught when his brother recognized the thoughts in the "manifesto" he demanded be printed in National Newspapers.

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