Horror Headlines: Friday May 3rd, 2013
It looks like "Frankenstein's Army" will find itself with a limited theatrical run on July 26th. The film takes place at the end of the second world war when Russian soldiers discover a secret Nazi lab where scientists are using the work of Dr. Viktor Frankenstein to build an army. I can't think of anything funny to say here that doesn't make me sound like a monster.
Every book Stephen King has ever written will be made into a movie including "Joyland", which he hasn't put out yet. Tate Taylor of "The Help" fame will adapt the story which follows a student in 1973 who begins working at a carnival and finds himself wrapped up in the legacy of a murder. It's only a matter of time before we start making movies out of his drunken crossword puzzle mishaps.
I can't think of anything worse right now than a new "Dracula" movie but Sarah Gadon has been cast in one. I don't know who she is but she was on some show called "My Dad the Rock Star" which sounds like the second worst thing.
Rob Zombie says "The Lords Of Salem" will be his last horror flick for a very long time... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Here's a Florida guy who broke into a couple's home, masturbated, played with their toy helicopter and then ate a salad. Don't worry though, he brought the salad with him.
I have always said if you see any sort of animal smaller than a deer crossing the road you should speed up and hit it head on. The reason? This guy in North Carolina avoided a dog and ending up hitting an old guy on a lawn mower. Animals are dumb is the point here.