Smiley

Smiley (REVIEW)

"Smiley" is a film that has been bouncing around the news pages of horror sites for some time now. The killer's mask is disturbing and very effective at creating a sense of dread along the lines of the greatest slasher villains. This mask is the reason it's maintained interest throughout the horror community and kept me curious enough that it remained on my radar. The realization that the mask was all the movie had going for it quickly moved my interest from prolonged curiosity, to consisten dread.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday January 14th, 2013

Brad Bird, the guy who directed "Iron Giant" and "Ratatouille" has gotten himself a December 19, 2014 release date for his new flick "1952". No real word on what the alien encounter type film will be about but George Clooney is attached to star so honestly who really cares what it's about. George Clooney. The guy craps ladies underwear. I have no idea what that means.

I have no idea what "Smiley" is about but I've seen the damn slasher from the flick all over the place. Well I mean not like out walking around or anything but on sites and stuff. I'm not crazy. Well the flick is finally finding its way onto DVD on February 12th. If I did see him in public I think I'd tell him to take off his silly mask and maybe we could enjoy some lunch together. I think we would split some wings or something.

A new show titled "They Came Back" looks to be coming to the mighty US sometime in the near future. The show is based on a French movie and TV series and focuses on a group of people trying to find their way home who also happened to have been dead for 7 years. FremantleMedia Enterprises has picked up the rights to the project and I would say if they change one thing about the show it's the whole french thing. They should definitely make everyone speak English.

Good news every half naked girl on twitter who calls themselves "Penny Dreadful", you're about to get a crap load more followers. Sam Mendes and John Logan, the guys behind "Skyfall" are confirmed to be creating a new show for Showtime with that name. The series will place some of the literary world's most famous monsters in Victorian London. I don't know if it would happen but how fun would it be if they put them all in one apartment together? So you know Dr. Frankenstein uses all the toothpaste and Dr. Jekyll looses his shit over it.

In Real People News: 

A convicted Illinois sex offender is under arrest again after he was found wandering the halls of a local school "looking for young boys". Here's the kicker though, it wasn't even his fault. According to him Justin Bieber is telepathically telling him to seek out his prey. Makes the spirit of Dom DeLuise telling me to eat pie all the time not seem so bad.

Necessity is the mother of invention my friends. Proof of this can be found down in Florida where you can meet a woman who was being confronted by a cop, because she had just stabbed her boyfriend for not giving up his food stamps, and decided to throw a cat at him. I like to think there was some confusion down at the station when trying to figure out what the fine for assault with a feline is.

Snapshot: "Smiley" (2012)

I'm not gonna lie, the killer from the upcoming movie "Smiley" is pretty freaky looking. And the plot sounds pretty decent too: After learning of an urban legend in which a demented serial killer named "Smiley" can be summoned through the Internet, mentally fragile Ashley must decide whether she is losing her mind or becoming Smiley's next victim. The film, which is being distributed by Fever Productions, will be using a new hybrid approach for distribution.

Horror Headlines: Monday, July 2nd, 2012

Welcome to July my friends, the most patriotic month in all the land. Unless of course you're not from America. If that's the case you probably just see it as a really hot month where all the Americans wear tank tops with American flags on them. It's a win for everyone.

I've never seen an episode of "Lost" but I know people are nutso for it and I know the final episode was crap. I think that's enough for me. But the rest of the interwebs might be excited to learn that Elizabeth Mitchell is once again teaming up with J.J. Abrams for a new show titled "Revolution." Mitchell will play a loving mother on the show that focuses on a family that must reunite in a post-apocalyptic world. Andrea Roth was originally set to play the role and she was on "Rescue Me" which is a show I did watch and no one hated the last episode of so I disagree with this move.

Olly Blackburn has replaced Gary Fleder in the director role in the upcoming Dimension Films slasher flick "Kristy." The film focuses on a young girl who stays in her college dorm over Thanksgiving break and finds herself stalked by 4 masked men. You might remember Olly Blackburn as the director of 2008's "Donkey Punch." I remember him as the guy who directed a movie I thought was a porn but actually turned out to be just a bunch of rich kids on a boat doing drugs and killing each other.

"Smiley" is a new horror film about a serial killer that can be summoned through the internet and actually looks not too shabby. Sort of. This isn't the news here though. The news is that the film will receive an October 11th release date via something called Tugg, Inc. which allows people to vote on what movies will be available at their local theaters. I don't know how that works so I'm not going to bother trying to explain. The film will also be available for viewing on the movie's website in both a PG-13 and R rated form. Later on it will also be available on VOD, DVD and Blu-Ray. Even later on though it will be available via interpretive dance performed by a local group of elderly tap dancers with hearts of gold.

If you saw "Shark night 3D" and thought "I really hope to see more of these actors sometime soon" then you're in luck because Chris Zylka, who was also on 2 episodes of "Hannah Montana", has been added to the cast of the second season of "American Horror Story". No word as to what role he'll be playing and honestly who cares. The guy fought sharks, in 3D, anything he does is gold baby. Gold!

In Real People News: 

A woman in Australia figured she could get away with robbing a gas station simply by wearing a seriously low cut shirt and letting all her goods hang out, ignoring the fact that she's on camera with her face clearly visible and her glove-less hands put fingerprints all over the shop. Although at this time she's still.... at large... so maybe this tactic does work. I've watched the video 13 times and I still couldn't tell you what she looks like.

And here's a story about a man who had a 5 inch worm living in his eye. Feel free to throw up now.

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