rosewood lane

Horror Headlines: Friday October 14th, 2011

Apps are all the rage with the kids these days. Why just yesterday I was down at the malt shop and there was a group of kids just going gaga over some apps. So why wouldn't the people behind "Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings" make an app to promote their movie which hits DVD on October 25th? There's no reason! Of course their app is a cookbook that's chock full of all kinds of helpful recipes. I don't see a reason for that either but man... apps, huh!

I don't care if she dated Marilyn Manson I still have a crush on Rose McGowan. I can't just throw away the special times we had with "Jawbreaker" like they didn't matter. So I'm willing to give "Rosewood Lane" a chance. The film is a new thriller which stars McGowen as a radio show host who moves back to her hometown after the death of her father and finds her paperboy is a nut job. You really don't see enough killer paperboy flicks anymore.

We were all giddy about "Tucker and Dale vs Evil" here at BGH so the news that co-writer Morgan Jurgenson has penned the script for a new movie titled "Hyperdrive" where a cop saves a sci-fi nerd who turns out to be the key witness in a murder. Not giddy like pee our pants giddy but still pretty excited. The word "semi" was used in a few descriptions. I'm going to let your mind tell the rest of that story.

Remember that song "Them bones" by Alice In Chains? Man that was a good song. That song has nothing to do with the new trailer for the new AMC 2 night mini-series "Bag Of Bones". I just really like that song. The show is based on the Stephen King novel of the same name and tells the story of a man haunted by the memory of his deceased wife during a bitter custody battle. It's a 4 hour series so they might play the song at some point. Keep your fingers crosses.

In Real People News: 

This might be the most metal thing ever. The bass play of a local Colorado band is under arrest after he punched his lead singer so hard in the face that he went into a coma. If I were them I would change the bands name to "Punched Into A Coma" and go on tour. I should be their manager.

Oh Massachusetts. You silly state of funny accented simpletons. I mean that in the nicest way possible. But here's a family who got so confused and lost in a corn maze that they dialed 911. Apparently they didn't mind staying in the corn maze but they were frightened because they couldn't find anything to eat. Alright I made that last part up. Get it though? Corn maze... nothing to eat? It's made of corn! I hate you all.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday February 9th, 2011

Despite my undying hatred for Kevin Smith, "Red State" actually looks pretty good, and it kills me to say that. Well to keep the ball rolling Mrs. Smith (see what I did there) released a new clip to the fine people at MTV. Because if you want to stay indie, you go to the channel that brought you "The Grind".

Rosamund Pike, who has a stupid name but was apparently in "Doom" so I like her, has been added to the cast of the "Clash of the Titans" sequel currently titled "Wrath of the Titans". The movie will be bad but it's got the girl with the stupid name who was in "Doom" so maybe it'll make me think of The Rock, the wrestler not the movie, and it'll make me happy and I'll like it. That's logic people, logic all over your face.

Victor Salva is the guy responsible for ruining my senior year by making the movie "Powder", bald pale white guys aren't all freaks, people! Now he's got a new movie titled "Rosewood Lane" that has just cast Rose McGowen. If this one turns out to be about a guy with a mild drinking problem and horrible grammar who sits on NJ transit for 2 hours a day I'm going to think Victor has it out for me.

Suck on that "Snakes on a Plane"! David R. Ellis has topped you for best movie name ever. He wants to release his new film under the title "Untitled 3D Shark Thriller". Try to guess what the movie is about and what dimension it'll be shown is. I bet you guess right. If you didn't you might want to get that looked at.

In Real People News: 

Kids, they do the darnedest things. Like these three students in Ohio that set a kid's hair on fire while riding the bus home from school. At least I think it was on the way home, that's an awful way to start the day. It's not really a great way to end it either but ya know.

Sometimes the urge calls and there's no stopping it. A Florida teen was arrested for breaking into a business recently because he stopped to look at porn on a company computer. It's his own fault though, apparently he was just pulling his pants up when the police got there. I'm guess it took them at least 15 minutes to get the call and get there. This guy is doing something wrong.

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