puzzler

Horror Headlines: Thursday October 27th, 2011

Remember when Anne Hathaway hosted the Oscars and I decided I hated her? Probably not because you never call anymore. Well Anne has signed on to star in a new thriller simply titled "Puzzler". On top of that she'll also be taking on the producer role for the first time. Maybe she can get back on my good side again if she produces those boobies on camera again.

Martin Scorsese looks to have his eye on a big screen adaptation of Jo Nesbo's "The Snowman". The story focuses on a detective investigating the murder of a woman in Oslo, Norway that appears to be the handy work of a serial killer. I don't want to get my hopes up but if the killer turns out to be a troll this might be the greatest movie ever made.

"I Am Legend" scribe Mark Protosevich has been hand picked by Mr. Steven Spielberg to put pen to paper for the much anticipated "Jurassic Park 4". Protosevich comes as no surprise to me as Spielberg's selection. With those baby blue eyes and rugged good looks he must have blown the judges away during the swimsuit competition.

Here's some new sales art for Rob Zombie's "The Lords of Salem" that looks like a crappy show flyer for the worst local punk band ever.

In Real People News: 

I blame "True Blood" for this one. A Zimbabwean man was recently caught making dirty love to a donkey and when questioned by police explained that said donkey was actually a shape shifting hooker. Wait, is prostitution legal in Zimbabwe?

Got to give this guy points for style. A Colorado man reported his date as a burglar when his girlfriend came home and caught the two of them together. It didn't fly of course but it was worth a shot.

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