mutant girls squad

Horror Headlines: Tuesday, March 20th, 2011

I was at work until 1am last night and back up at 7 to come back in. I'm so tired. Here's the news.

"Beautiful Creatures" is a sassy new love story about two young lovers who find out each others dark pasts. It's going to be oozing with delights. Margot Martindale and Zoey Deutch have just been added to the cast. That's the news here. This morning on the bus I blacked out for a few seconds and when I came to I thought the bus had plunged into the Hudson river for a second. It was awesome.

Jake Gyllenhaal is in talks to star in a new thriller currently titled "An Enemy". The film focuses on a man who rents a video that turns out to star himself five years in the past. Wait does that sound real? I seriously can't even see straight so I may have just made that up. It sounds made up.

Don't ask my why but "The Mortal Instruments" sounds like a porno to me. Alright in all honesty 90% of the movie titles I read sound like porno's to me. But this is a big screen adaptation of the book by the same name and it's about a NYC lass who discovers she's a half angel warrior. News today has dropped that Harald Zwart, who directed "The Karate Kid" reboot a couple years back will take up the directing duty. If you're thinking about having kids I'll give you some insight. Kids do not care what time you went to bed. If they want to wake up at 7 you're waking up with them.

Have you ever had a Trenta iced coffee from Starbucks? Trenta is bigger than their large size. It's pretty much a bucket. I've had two so far today. I can hear colors. The crazy ass Japanese flick "Mutant Girls Squad" is finally getting a US Blu-Ray release on may 22nd.

In Real People News: 

An Arizona man is under arrest after he drank a bunch of Four Loko and then peed on a baby. And as soon as my wife reads this there will be a 0% chance that I will ever enjoy a Four Loko.

I can understand this New Jersey woman's anger. She went into 711 and they didn't have any sausage sandwiches available at 4am so she started throwing crap. I also understand why the police would pepper spray her. But seriously, those sausage sandwiches are super good.

Horror Headlines: Thursday June 10th, 2010

If you haven't taken a few minutes out of your impossibly busy schedule to check out the latest gore-heavy trailer for "Mutant Girls Squad", then shame on you. The clip is definitely not safe for work, so be sure everyone's out to lunch before clicking the link.

In the land of strange short films, Eric Branscum's "Future Self" is pretty darn weird. Clever, amusing, and extremely entertaining, yes, but weird nonetheless. After all, it's not everyday that you encounter a dastardly villain with a clock for a head.

Although it pains me greatly to say this, the international one-sheet for Alexandre Aja's upcoming cheesefest "Piranha 3D" is pretty freaking lame. I'm starting to have serious doubts about this one, folks. I hope I'm wrong.

In Real People News: 

The next time you see your elderly neighbor doing something incredibly strange in your garage, you might want to make sure he doesn't have your vacuum stuck to his wrinkled genitals. I'm slightly unnerved just writing that sentence.

Desperate to land a husband? I might be wrong about this, but repeatedly calling 911 in search of a suitable mate isn't exactly the proper course of action. Unless, of course, you're just itching to spend three whole days in jail.

On this day in history: 

1692 - Bridget Bishop, the first victim of the Salem Witch Trials, is hanged at Gallows Hill near Salem.

Horror Headlines: Thursday May 27th, 2010

If you like snakes, Bollywood, and director Jennifer Lynch, then you're in luck! The first set of posters for Lynch's upcoming horror flick "Hisss" have been released online. A movie about a snake woman's quest for revenge? You already know I'll be all over this one.

Yoshihiro Nishimura, the mastermind behind "Mutant Girls Squad" and "Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl", has begun production on his latest gore-soaked endeavor "Hell Driver". The plot: Japanese schoolgirls battle the undead in Tokyo. Life just got a little bit sweeter.

Speaking of quirky Japanese horror flicks, the trailer for "Neck", a film about a guy forced to watch a horror movie generated by his own mind, is ready for worldwide consumption. And people wonder why I spend so much time watching foreign horror movies.

Have you secretly wished for a horror flick featuring a killer tire? Me, too! Magnet Releasing has apparently acquired US distribution rights for "Rubber", a film about a murderous tire with telekinetic powers. This has been an awesome week for people with bizarre taste in cinema.

In Real People News: 

What's cooler than a playground fist fight? Playground fist fights organized by dodgy parents to help settle teenage squabbles. As long as someone films and uploads these questionable matches onto YouTube, I actually don't have a problem with this.

Only in California: A woman is planning to sue Newport Beach after her finger is ripped off in a hazardous bathroom stall. I'm no expert on such matters, but I've a sneaking suspicion that this is an operator problem, nothing more.

On this day in history: 

1995 - Actor Christopher Reeve is thrown from his horse, causing him to break his neck in two places.

Trailer: The Mutant Girls Squad

Noboru Iguchi and Yoshihiro Nishimura are, simply put, extremely badass. The directing duo's upcoming feature "The Mutant Girls Squad" continues in the tradition set forth by "Tokyo Gore Police" and "The Machine Girl", so it's no surprise that I'm overly excited about the project. The teaser trailer is only 30 seconds long, but it should give you plenty of reasons to pee your pants in shameless, unadulterated glee. I know I did. Twice! One can only hope that a full-length trailer will arrive shortly. When it does, you can rest assured I'll blog about it.

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