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Horror Headlines: Thursday June 10th, 2010

If you haven't taken a few minutes out of your impossibly busy schedule to check out the latest gore-heavy trailer for "Mutant Girls Squad", then shame on you. The clip is definitely not safe for work, so be sure everyone's out to lunch before clicking the link.

In the land of strange short films, Eric Branscum's "Future Self" is pretty darn weird. Clever, amusing, and extremely entertaining, yes, but weird nonetheless. After all, it's not everyday that you encounter a dastardly villain with a clock for a head.

Although it pains me greatly to say this, the international one-sheet for Alexandre Aja's upcoming cheesefest "Piranha 3D" is pretty freaking lame. I'm starting to have serious doubts about this one, folks. I hope I'm wrong.

In Real People News: 

The next time you see your elderly neighbor doing something incredibly strange in your garage, you might want to make sure he doesn't have your vacuum stuck to his wrinkled genitals. I'm slightly unnerved just writing that sentence.

Desperate to land a husband? I might be wrong about this, but repeatedly calling 911 in search of a suitable mate isn't exactly the proper course of action. Unless, of course, you're just itching to spend three whole days in jail.

On this day in history: 

1692 - Bridget Bishop, the first victim of the Salem Witch Trials, is hanged at Gallows Hill near Salem.

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