Lily Collins

Horror Headlines: Wednesday, January 25th, 2012

Tonight I'm going to Hooters with some former co-workers and I'm not going to lie, I had some trouble sleeping last night from all the excitement. I've been listening to the band Hatebreed all day getting myself pumped up for the big event. If you've never been and you think Hooters is depressing then I suggest you come to the one in NYC because you're 100% right. You see in a lot of locations Hooters gets really hot girls to work there but in the city there's really expensive restaurants where girls can get really big tips and not have to be harassed by drunk pricks downing wings.

How the hell the Germans have kept this clip from "Psycho" a secret for so long is beyond me but here it is, extended scenes from some of the film's classic shots that were apparently too hot for us American's back in the day but were A-OK for the Krauts. I wonder if they have the real ending for "The Sopranos" sitting around somewhere too.

"Snow Piercer" sounds like the name of a terrible cover band but it turns out it's the titled of Bong Joon-ho's new film. The movie tells the story of a group of people trapped on a train after the earth has been completely frozen. Who would you want as a fellow passenger on that train? If you said "Alien" alum John Hurt then you're in luck because he's been confirmed for the cast. If you said anyone other than him though you're kind of screwed.

Yesterday I told you how "The Crow" remake looks to be back on and today it appears a new writer and director have already been selected. Jesse Wigutow, who wrote some short films I will never see has been tapped to pen the script and F. Javier Gutierrez who directed "Before the Fall" which I'm 75% sure I saw will take the lead. Seriously, if you've never been to Hooters you should give it a shot. Their wings are so god damn good.

This can't be good news. It looks like that Lily Collins has officially dropped out from the lead role in the upcoming remake of "The Evil Dead". Apparently the drop out is because of "date issues". I assume this means she wants to go out on a date with me and just found out I'm married so she's too depressed to act. That's just my guess.

In Real People News: 

Managers of a park in England are toying with the idea of releasing honey bees in order to deter vandals from damaging historic buildings. I think the way this goes is they release the bees, then they need to release birds to eat the bees, then something else. It all ends with giant shark robots killing us all.

Here's a smart guy who decided to lock himself in an airplane bathroom and smoke some pot. I don't know if he also tried to tamper with the smoke detector but I'm pretty sure that alone will get you the chair.

Horror Headlines: Thursday, January 5th, 2012

James Merendino directed "SLC Punk" and all the kids love that movie but he also directed some really crappy low budget horror flicks so don't get too excited when I tell you he's been tapped to direct a new horror comedy titled "The Bitch". The film is about a woman who finds herself trapped in a mansion that is haunted by an evil spirit called.... wait for it... "The Bitch". Ya know, cause the ghost is a big jerk and she won't let you watch the game and she hates all your friends and she complains anytime you want to go out for drinks with your buddies. Man I hate her. Breaking up with that ghost was the best thing I've ever done.

Word around campus is that "The Evil Dead" reboot may have found its new leading lady in the form of Lily Collins, who you might remember from last year's flick "Priest". Apparently she'll be playing the new "Ash", which will be a woman in the retelling, because girls have different parts than boys and therefore the film is completely different now. I love girl parts.

This shouldn't be any sort of surprise but it looks like a release date for "Paranormal Activity 4" has been set for October 19th of this year. No director or story have been assigned to the project but seeing how these things probably take a week or two to make I wouldn't expect to hear anything till around August.

If you've never seen the original "The House on Sorority Row" but loved the remake then you might want to get your fat ass out to the DVD store on January 24th when the original comes out on a a 2 disc special edition DVD. It'll be packed with all kinds of behind the scenes videos, audio commentary, storyboards and god knows what else. Well alright I know what else too, I just don't feel like typing out every freakin detail of the thing. Sometimes you have to do a little work for yourself. I'm not going to be around forever.

In Real People News: 

If there's one sure fire way (it's a pun, you'll get it in a second) to win an argument with someone it's by setting yourself on fire (see, there it is). Of course this Michigan man did that after a dispute with his sister over cereal but who am I to judge what is and isn't important. he also died, which is the best way to make sure your opponent has no chance at a rebuttal to your argument.

And here's a Chicago man who went in a completely different direction to win an argument with his uncle over the remote control. He gouged his uncle's eyes out. Again who am I to judge...

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