No news today guys. Sorry I just don't have it in me. I'm kidding of course there's a bunch of stories right below this. Man you'll believe anything I tell you.
Nick Swardson is pretty damn funny when he isn't playing a bucked toothed porn star in movies so I'm fairly excited for the new stop motion flick titled "Hell and Back" in which he stars. If you can star in a stop motion film. I don't know how that works. Anyway the movie is about a couple friends who have to travel into hell to save their friend who's been dragged down into the fiery depths and today we've learned that Mila Kunis has been cast as a spicy demon who is one of the few people who know how to navigate the underworld. Man it took us a long time to get to that didn't it? I just like spending time with you.
I don't know what it means when a company "options" something but the good people at Sony have optioned a big screen adaptation of the comic book "Bloodshot". For those of you not familiar with the comic book it tells the story of a former gangster who finds himself injected with microscopic computers that make him a super weapon after he goes into the witness protection program. For those of you not familiar with Sony they're a big company that makes a bunch of electrons and apparently puts out movies also.
Director Eric England has been hand selected by the powers that be to direct a new film titled "Contracted". The movie focuses on a young girl who has a one night stand and contracts what she thinks is an STD. It turns out to be something much worse though. A baby? Is it a baby? I'm guessing it's a baby. My money is on baby!
Didn't Darren Lynn Bousman's "11-11-11" already come out on VOD? Am I wrong here? I'm so confused. Well it's coming out again on march 6th. Or maybe for the first time. I don't know. It will then be available on DVD April 24th. So if you're itching to see a film based on a would-be world ending 6 months after the date passed then you're in luck.
In Real People News:
If you crash and blow up your car while crying drunk you really don't have anything to loose so why not make up a story. Saying another car started shooting at you for no reason might not be the most believable but it's still worth a shot.
If you're on meth there's a good chance the job opportunities aren't flying in so if you happen to get an interview you might want to not show up naked like this guy in Sacramento. Although if you do there's a good chance you're not going to get the job so feel free to go ahead and fight the cops who come to take you away.