Dwayne Johnson

Horror Headlines: Wednesday September 26th, 2012

Ivan Reitman wants to remake "Ghostbusters" now. Why the hell not already.

Barry Sonnenfeld, the guy who directed all three "Men in Black" films, has been tapped by the folks over at Warner Brothers to helm the big screen adaptation of the graphic novel "Lore". The film will focus on a man who becomes a member of a secret order that protects the world from folk bands. I kid it's got something to do with beasts or something. Dwayne Johnson is going to star. I adore him.

Holy crap don't you just love a good spoof movie? Did someone say "Scary Movie 19"!? Sign me up! And while you're at it serve me up a hot plate of "Supernatural Activity" which has just been bitch slapped with a November 9th DVD release. I'm not going to bother telling you what it's about because you can probably guess from the title but I will answer that one question that's burning in your loins right now... yes the guy from "My Sucky Teen Romance" is in it.

AMC is just cutting right to the chase and confirming that "The Walking Dead" will in fact get a fourth season. That's got to take a lot of pressure off the third season, huh? Have they finished filming yet? If they haven't I bet they will tomorrow.

In Real People News: 

A Tennessee college student was rushed to the hospital after he nearly died from "butt-chugging". What's that you ask? Well it's when you put a tube up your bum hole and funnel wine into your ass. Turns out that isn't how Jesus intended you to drink his blood.

Wait you can get arrested for having sex with a couch? This guy in Wisconsin only got arrested because he was doing it in public, right? Please say yes...

Horror Headlines: Friday, April 13th, 2011

Hey it's Friday the 13th! There's a horror movie named after that so we should all be excited. Let's promise ourselves that we'll annoy everyone we work with by spouting off ridiculous info about the film series and how much we hated the remake. People love that crap.

Get excited folks! Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller have dropped the bomb that production on "Sin City: A Dame To Kill For" will begin this summer. No specific details on the plot or when the film will see the light of day but aren't you just excited that it's happening? You couldn't stand up right now even if you wanted to could you? God you're sick.

Speaking of The Rock... Dwayne "My Man Crush" Johnson has been tapped to take on the lead role of the upcoming big screen adaptation of "Lore". Based on the comic book of the same name the story will tell the tale of a man who reluctantly becomes a member of a secret order of dream boats who battle mythical beasts. The "dream boat" part I added. Don't judge.

Word around the tubes is that none other than Mr. David Cronenberg is high atop a short list of directors to take on "Catching Fire", the much anticipated sequel to "The Hunger Games". Gary Ross who directed the first installment recently parted ways with Lionsgate due to the short filming schedule so now they're on the prowl. I mean if I was looking for a guy Cronenberg wouldn't be my first choice but I don't like to judge. The Rock isn't free though? Just wondering.

This isn't very exciting news but I wanted to share it with you because it makes me happy. "Alfred Hitchcock and the Making of 'Psycho'", the movie about the making of "Psycho", seriously it is, has had its title cut down to just "Hitchcock" and begun production. Don't you feel better about the world now?

In Real People News: 

Bulldog puppies might be the cutest god damn thing on this earth so it's mind blowing that an Ohio man could shove 6 of them into a suitcase and abandon them. Well maybe not mind blowing. It is Ohio. I'll never understand that godless wasteland.

What if I told you there's a story out there about a person who was pronounced dead and then woke up 12 hours later in the morgue? What if I then told you that person was a newborn baby? Are you creeped out? What if I then told you that you could wash away all your financial debt by following 6 simple rules? Would you be interested then?

Horror Headlines: Friday, February 24th, 2011

Last night I decided to give Wii fit a go. People loved it 5 years ago so I thought it was finally time. Have you ever had a little animated character on the TV look at you and tell you you're fat? I have and it's one of the most depressing things I've experienced in my life.

Dwayne Johnson, also known as "The Rock" just seems like a guy I'd like to hang out with. He's all funny and stuff. God I hope he drinks beer. While we try to find out let's discuss how Mr. Rock is now in talks to play the lead in a big screen adaptation of Steve Moore's graphic novel "Hercules: The Thracian Wars". Can you guess what the lead role is from the title? If you can't you might be stupid.

I really dislike that song "In Your Eyes" and therefore I have already decided I do not like the new movie coming out with the same title. It does not matter that Steve Howey, who's currently on the show "Shameless", has been added to the cast. I don't watch that show. It does matter that Joss Whedon is producing the romantic supernatural people connected by some cosmic energy movie. Because everything that guy does is awful. But I'm just rambling now.

Robert Knepper who was on "Prison Break" has joined the cast of CW's "Cult" about a cult leader who commands his minions to kill. I'm sick of these shows already.

I've seen trailers for "Madison County" flying around for a while now. It's the creepy looking flick about a killer who terrorizes a town while wearing a pig's head if you're wondering. And it looks like it's finally making it's way to DVD on May 8th. See? Today's not so bad. This rain will pass. Let's go get some breakfast together, ok?

In Real People News: 

Ya know if your daughter is traumatized by a TV show then you have every right as parents to file a lawsuit against the company who aired the show. Unfortunately if the show that messed her up is one about sex clubs and swingers and featured you two going at each other in batman costumes then that's all on you.

I've been going back and forth in my head as to what's worse. This PA woman who had sex with a 15 year old or her son who ratted her out to the cops. Probably the woman, right? Yeah I don't know why I was even putting thought into it.

Horror Headlines: Monday November 21st, 2011

Up until now all the shots from "The Dark Knight" have been a big load of CT's. If you're not sure what that means just image me in high school driving a bunch of girls to the mall only to find we're really "good friends". I think you get the picture now. But today we get full release with a couple new photos of Bane and the Batman himself in all their full on glory. Enjoy them, with someone you love.

It is impossible for Dwayne Johnson AKA The Rock to do any wrong in my eyes. Did you see "Tooth Fairy"? It was delightful! I assume "Monster Hunter’s Survival Guide", which has just been announced and will star Mr. Rock as a master of the monster hunting arts, will be amazing. "Walking Tall"? Possible the greatest movie ever imagined.

I had completely forgotten that this movie existed but it looks like filming for "Manson Girls" is finally under way and is hoping to be wrapped in time to premiere the film at next year's Cannes Film Festival. The film tells the real life story of a group of girls leading up to the 1969 Tate murders. Taryn Manning, Tania Raymonde, Monica Keena, Stella Maeve and a bunch of other names I don't recognize lead the cast.

Huh the what now!? FX has decided to cut the season finale of "American Horror Story" from 2 hours to 90 minutes. Citing a tricky production schedule as the cause. The finale is set to premier on December 21st and true be told this isn't that terrible of news. I don't think I could handle two hours of the mother from "Six Feet Under" dry humping people.

In Real People News: 

Sometimes the morning commute is just more than you can take and you need a quick nap. Of course you should probably not do what this woman in Minnesota did and take that nap in the middle of the highway. Unless of course your morning compute is so bad that you want to be repeatedly run over by cars. Then go right ahead.

When you go to a knock off plastic surgeon you've got to expect to not get the best service. But even the worst of doctors shouldn't be injecting fix-a-flat into peoples asses. Even if they are a tranny in Miami that's only pretending to be a doctor.

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