attack the block

Horror Headlines: Friday, June 15th, 2012

I've worked in NYC for over 12 years now and every day on my way to work I pass these guys selling tickets for double decker sightseeing bus tours of the city. They pretty much stand there and attack any couple that looks like they're on vacation. I have waited 12 years for someone to ask me to skip work, hop on a bus and take in all this fine city has to offer, but not once have I been approached. I dress like a homeless person so it wouldn't be out of the realm of possibilities that I'm just wandering around the city aimlessly, so why not ask me?

I swear to god I hate "True Blood" but for some reason I can't stop talking about casting and updates and god knows what other info they release. Like Robert Patrick joining the cast for next season as Alcide Herveaux's father. He's a wolf for those of you not in the know. I know because my wife constantly says "That guy who plays Alcide Herveaux on 'True Blood', I'd leave you for him." Seriously. Sometimes it's the last thing she says to me before I leave for work and the first thing she says when I get home. I cry at night sometimes.

If you're an avid listener of the BGH podcast (AKA not a prick) then you know we went gaga over Joe Cornish's "Attack the Block" last year. Well our loose fitting boxers are all in tizzy with the news that Joe has been confirmed to be tackling the big screen adaptation of "Snow Crash" for his next project. The book is set in the future where corporations rule the world and a strange computer virus is killing people. I hope they still listen to KRS-One in this future.

Judy Greer and Portia Doubleday have been added to the cast of the upcoming "Carrie" remake. Portia, which is a stupid name, will play play the meany Chris Hargensen while Judy will play a gym teacher in the rehash of the Stephan King classic. The stupid name comment is the best thing I can come up with for this one. It's been a long week.

For those of you who have been itching to own 1987's "Chillers" on DVD, the good people at Troma have answered your prayers. The disc will be released on September 11 and be chock full of trailers and other goods. Well all I really know about is the trailer being on there, but I assume there's got to be more. There's just got to be!

In Real People News: 

An Arizona woman is under arrest after she stabbed her husband in the back after they got into an argument over a Cosmo quiz. I've always said those things are trouble. You answer 5 questions and all of the sudden your a convicted serial murderer.

Good old Florida. Home of this woman who gathered a group of teenagers, forced them to cut themselves so their demons could escape and then had them close the cuts by burning themselves over a fire so the demons couldn't get back in. That and Disneyworld.

Snapshots: "Attack the Block" - 2011

"That's an alien bruv, believe it. "

Episode 180 - "Attack the Block"

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Everyone makes room on their "Best of the Year" lists as we review this raucous British horror comedy.

Purchase this Back Episode $0.99

Horror Headlines: Monday June 13th, 2011

Fun fact about Colin Hanks, my wife would leave me for him without giving it a second thought. I know, it hurts me to think about it too. So here's the first trailer for "Lucky" in which Hanks plays a serial killer who strikes it big by winning the lottery. While it looks good I'm not sure how I can watch it with my better half while I know she'd rather be sitting on the couch with him watching a movie about me. Or just sitting on the couch with him. Point is Hanks is a home wrecker.

I'm still not sure this is real but it looks like there may in fact me a "Killer Klowns From Outer Space" sequel in the works. The movie, currently being called "Return of the Killer Klowns From Outer Space" will of course be in 3D and feature much of the original cast from the 1988 classic. If you tell me this is getting a wide release then I know it's bullshit. And I'll also laugh because you said "release".

The U.K. alien invasion comedy "Attack the Block" will finally make its way across the pond on July 29th and even be available in selected theaters. I hope they put subtitles into the movie. Or at the very least CGI in coffee over all the tea that i assume is being drunk in the movie.

If you watched "Laid to rest" for 15 minutes before turning it off like I did then you'll be completely indifferent to the first trailer for "ChromeSkull: Laid to Rest 2". The sequel which will hit DVD and Blu-Ray on September 20th follows the the happenings of the apprentice of our original slasher on his exciting birthing into the world of murder. I make it sound pretty hot, don't I?

In Real People News: 

Douglas Brian Irvin Jr. who apparently had a number of bit parts in films including "The Hangover" has been arrested for impersonating a cop and forcing women to have sex with him under the threat of going to jail. It's got to be a bad point in an actors career when they realize they have a better chance of getting a girl by pretending to be a cop rather then talking about the movies you've been in.

And here's a heartwarming story about some college kids in New Zealand who etched a giant penis into their colleges lawn two years ago and have now discovered it was actually picked up on Google earth. Dream big kids, dream so freakin big that Google earth captures your giant dream penis.

Horror Headlines: Friday April 22nd, 2011

Hey remember when Snoop Dogg was awesome? I know you think it wasn't so long ago but the truth is about two years after "Doggystyle" came out he he started doing VH1 shows and turned into the safe rapper and killed my gangsta dreams. Anyway in 2006 he made an awful movie called "Hood of Horror" and apparently he wants to make a sequel. You broke my heart Snoop, you broke it in two.

All the world has troll fever and the only fix is the Norwegian flick "The Troll Hunter". Well good news! There's a new clip from the film and while it doesn't give much in the way of trolls it does feature one salty looking Norwegian. So that's still good! Just so I'm clear when I say "the world" I actually mean Mark from the Bloody Good Horror Podcast. The guy is obsessed with the freakin thing.

If it wasn't for the fact that "Attack The Block" was made by the Brits I would say it sounds mildly racist. And no I will not explain my reasoning for this. Well there's a new trailer for the teens vs. aliens sci-fi comedy romp for you people and I think it speaks for itself. 100% honest, I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about anymore.

Kate Beckinsale has been offered the role of Lori in the upcoming remake of "Total Recall". Lori of course was played by Sharon Stone in the original and for years I've been saying things like, "Hey that Kate Beckinsale, she's going to go places just like Sharon Stone did after she played Lori in the 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger classic 'Total Recall'". I say that all the time... if you know me you know that.

In Real People News: 

Holy mother of god! An Alabama man is under arrest after he dug out his 72 year old Uncle's eyes with a spoon. Is this legible? I'm having trouble typing with all the vomit on my keyboard.

Here's a video of a baby penguin being tickled that's all over the tubes the past few days... He dug out his uncle's freakin eyes!

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