american psycho: the musical

Horror Headlines: Tuesday October 8th, 2013

Viral videos are always fun. Here's one to promote this weekend's "Carrie" release where a girl in a coffee shop makes a bunch of crap move and freaks out everyone in the store. It's funny because people who go to coffee shops are obnoxious usually and it's fun when bad things happen to them. Except if someone pulled this crap in my Starbucks when I'm there. Joey needs his big boy coffee to make the grumpies go away.

Do people watch horror movies on New Year's Eve? I mean I guess some people have to right? You get all your friends together and talk about how lame Dick Clark is and then you watch some god awful horror movie you all make fun of. You think you're so cool don't you! I ask because After Dark's "Ritual" has just been slapped with a December 31st release date on VOD and I'm wondering if anyone will watch the film, which follows a former couple as they try to escape a satanic cult. How do you hate Dick Clark? He's a god damn American treasure. And he's dead. You're a real sicko jag off you know that?

Much like "Breaking Bad" and anything Joss Whedon has created for TV I refuse to watch "Dr. Who" because I find it annoying how much people talk about it. But I'm sure all the boys and girls are going to go ape doodie over the fact that the show's star, or former star I guess, Matt Smith will be playing the role of Patrick Bateman in the upcoming "American Psycho" musical that's coming to London this December. No word on if or when the show will find its way to the US but you have to figure it will and you have to figure it will be better. Because America is awesome and drinking tea is stupid.

Just because you can shoot a movie on your iPhone doesn't mean you should. Just like because you can travel to Barcelona doesn't mean you should either. But here's the trailer for "Hooked Up", the first horror film shot entirely on the iPhone. It's about two guys who head to Barcelona looking to find fun and some easy ladies but find themselves trapped in a house with all kinds of bad mojo going on. It looks like it was shot on an iPhone and I will not be able to get the image of 300 pricks standing around an Apple store not buying anything when I watch it.

In Real People News: 

The most perfect letter to leave your neighbor if you've heard him having sex all night. Enjoy.

Snakes in tiny top hats and mustaches. What the hell is wrong with people? Feel free to insert your own Schnaars joke here.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday December 7th, 2010

As expected Sunday night's "The Walking Dead" season finale went balls out with the rating, pulling about 8.1 million viewers between the 10 pm and 1 am showings. That's up 9% from last week's show and the series had the highest average for a cable show since 1993. That's a lot of math and to be honest the most amazing part is that I somewhat understand it.

It's no surprise that the producers of "American Psycho: The Musical" are promising tons of gore. Well maybe it's a little surprise since it's going to be on Broadway but that's nowhere near as surprising as the fact that Tom Cruise might be making a small cameo in the show. I know this isn't sarcasm but somehow I still feel like I'm being a wise ass here.

Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman, I've had dreams that start with those two names. Nightmares, I meant nightmares... I swear! Anyway there's a bunch of new interviews with the two up on the tubes with them talking about how exciting their new flick "Season of the Witch" is. Get hot and bothered!

Hammer's next film titled "The Resident" will apparently not be released in theaters but instead see a DVD/Blu-Ray release on March 29th, 2011. My guess for the change in plans is that putting both Hilary Swank and Jeffrey Dean Morgan on the screen together would cause theaters to burst into flames from all the heat. Now it'll just be your home.

In Real People News: 

Butcher vs. Boar 2010 took place recently at a shop in Germany when a wild hog ripped apart a butcher shop for close to an hour. Who won? Well one of the gladiators is now being sold as pork chops. You try to guess which one.

Douglas Allen Smith Jr. of Eugene Oregon has officially changed his name to Captain Awesome. That's really all I can say about that.

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