hooked up

Horror Headlines: Tuesday October 8th, 2013

Viral videos are always fun. Here's one to promote this weekend's "Carrie" release where a girl in a coffee shop makes a bunch of crap move and freaks out everyone in the store. It's funny because people who go to coffee shops are obnoxious usually and it's fun when bad things happen to them. Except if someone pulled this crap in my Starbucks when I'm there. Joey needs his big boy coffee to make the grumpies go away.

Do people watch horror movies on New Year's Eve? I mean I guess some people have to right? You get all your friends together and talk about how lame Dick Clark is and then you watch some god awful horror movie you all make fun of. You think you're so cool don't you! I ask because After Dark's "Ritual" has just been slapped with a December 31st release date on VOD and I'm wondering if anyone will watch the film, which follows a former couple as they try to escape a satanic cult. How do you hate Dick Clark? He's a god damn American treasure. And he's dead. You're a real sicko jag off you know that?

Much like "Breaking Bad" and anything Joss Whedon has created for TV I refuse to watch "Dr. Who" because I find it annoying how much people talk about it. But I'm sure all the boys and girls are going to go ape doodie over the fact that the show's star, or former star I guess, Matt Smith will be playing the role of Patrick Bateman in the upcoming "American Psycho" musical that's coming to London this December. No word on if or when the show will find its way to the US but you have to figure it will and you have to figure it will be better. Because America is awesome and drinking tea is stupid.

Just because you can shoot a movie on your iPhone doesn't mean you should. Just like because you can travel to Barcelona doesn't mean you should either. But here's the trailer for "Hooked Up", the first horror film shot entirely on the iPhone. It's about two guys who head to Barcelona looking to find fun and some easy ladies but find themselves trapped in a house with all kinds of bad mojo going on. It looks like it was shot on an iPhone and I will not be able to get the image of 300 pricks standing around an Apple store not buying anything when I watch it.

In Real People News: 

The most perfect letter to leave your neighbor if you've heard him having sex all night. Enjoy.

Snakes in tiny top hats and mustaches. What the hell is wrong with people? Feel free to insert your own Schnaars joke here.

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