11/22/63

Horror Headlines: Tuesday April 30th, 2013

I know what you're asking yourself right now and here's the answer. If they ever make a "The Real Househusbands Of Chicago" and I'm cast on the show my tag line would be "I showered today, but you'd never know it".

"The Woman In Black: Angel Of Death", the sequel to the 2012 film which made me pee my pants, has cast Jeremy Irvine and Phoebe Fox in the film's leads roles. The film takes place four decades after the events of the first movie and follows a nurse trying to save a group of young children who are being taken out one by one by the woman in black. Am I the only one who sees a great opportunity for a follow up to the 1986 classic Chris de Burgh song "Lady In Red" here?

Gabourey Sidibe is the latest name to be added to the cast of the upcoming season of "American Horror Story: Coven: Based On a Novel By the Guy Who Created 'Glee'" (not the show's real name). No details on what kind of role she'll be playing but we do know that the third season of the show will also feature Kathy Bates and revolve around a witch coven so if I was to guess I'd say I still have no idea what type of role she'll play.

J.J. Abrams' production company Bad Robot appears to be hard at work on obtaining the rights to the big screen adaptation of Stephen King's "11/22/63". The book tells the story of a man who sets out to stop the assassination of John F Kennedy when he discovers that he can travel back in time. I'm pretty sure it's the longest book in the world and I've been reading it off and on for close to 6 months so my hope is that by the time the movie is picked up and made I will be close to finishing it.

"The Last Exorcism Part II" will hit DVD and Blu-Ray on June 18th, be chock full of extras, a commentary track and so much more. You shouldn't buy it.

In Real People News: 

Dennis McCauley, a find upstanding 64 year old man from Michigan, apparently lived for 6 months with the rotting corpse of his 72 year old trailer mate. I get it. Sometimes it's nice to just sit in silence with someone for a while.

It's hard to believe but a drunken gun training session that took place in a couple's Pennsylvania basement ended up with a husband dead and a wife being charged with manslaughter. No one could have seen it coming.

Horror Headlines: Friday December 7th, 2012

Yes I know it's been over a month since I last wrote the news for you and yes I know you probably want some sort of explanation. Well you aren't going to get one I'm sorry. You can get a brief story about how I'm watching "Jurassic Park" right now and loving it. That's pretty much the entire story actually. I love this movie and I'm watching it right now while I type the news. Roll credits.

The big screen adaptation of Peter Heller's post-apocalyptic novel "The Dog Stars" has been picked up by Constantin Films, the same company that brought us the "Resident Evil" franchise, for production. Still being planned, the film will focus on a man who survives a deadly virus outbreak that kills off most of the world's population and his hopes of finding the promise land. I assume that means the last Hooters in America with running water.

If there's one complaint people have about Guillermo del Toro's 2006 acid trip flick "Pan's Labyrinth" it's that there isn't nearly enough singing and dancing. Truth be told that's really the biggest complaint most people have about most horror flicks isn't it. Well good news showgirls, it looks like the musical will be coming to the city that never sleeps sometime in the near future. The good news here is that Guillermo is on board as a producer so maybe this will turn out to be pretty sweet. Maybe the pre-show meal we have over at Bubba Gump shrimp wont give us all the runs either.

"Silence Of the Lambs" director Jonathan Demme has officially stepped down as the director of the movie adaptation of Stephen King's "11/22/63". The film, about a time traveler who tries to stop the assassination of John F. Kennedy was announced over a year ago and has not had much movement since then so what's next remains to be seen. The good news here is I just started reading this book and it's long as hell so if they can drag this out for a year or so I might finish it by the time the film sees the light of day.

If you've been unable to sleep because you're so excited to find out what "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" is going to be about then get your PJ's on because tonight you're going to rest like a baby. Andy Serkis, the guy who played Caesar the ape in the first film has dropped word that the film will focus on Caesar's interaction with the remaining humans left on the earth after a deadly virus breaks out. Serkis will of course play Caesar again and I will of course still have trouble giving a crap about a bunch of monkeys that should of just been drowned in the first act of the last film.

In Real People News: 

A Tennessee woman is facing charges after she accused a man she met online of forcing himself on her and it later turned out that she was just really unhappy with the consensual sex they did have. Thank the lord this story didn't come out when I was in college because there's two and a half women out there that could have really caused some problem for me. Don't ask.

A Pennsylvania woman is under arrest after she stabbed her boyfriend for taking the last beer. If her mug shot didn't look like a entire trailer court got together for an orgy and she was the child produced from it then I think I might have been in love.

11/22/63 Review (REVIEW)

11/22/63

Is there anyone in the history of horror like Stephen King, anyone who has been so relevant in the genre for so long? I almost said “anyone who has been so good for so long.” Let’s be honest, though, he’s put out some clunkers in his time as well as more than a few novels that have been only average (“Under the Dome” anyone?). But when he’s on he’s on, and his best work sits on a pillar with the very best horror has to offer. “11/22/63,” published in 2011, was touted by critics as his strongest in years. And for the most part, it is.

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