"The picture takes everything that made the first two films a success and ignores them entirely, opting instead to spoon feed its built-in audience..."
"If you look at 'Boot Camp' as a made for TV drama, it is not a bad movie."
"It's fairly easy to figure out whos, the whys, and the hows in 'Mad Detective' -- the experience is more focused on the journey than the destination."
"The new film picks up right as the first remake ended, following the aftermath of Michael Myers' murderous rampage through the eyes of the sister he hunted..."
"A major accomplishment and is a very rewarding watch for those with the patience to put up with the sometimes overly-ambitious pretensions of a talented, rookie director."
"'What Have You Done to Solange?' stands shoulder to shoulder with all of the great Giallos."
"Watching human beings pointlessly torment other human beings doesn't sound like a good time to me, especially if cruelty is the only thing the film offers up."
"Stutter and Kan never seem to know what, exactly, their movie wants to be when it grows up."
"Every inch of "Frankenhooker" is coated in deep-fried sleaze, its humor dripping like yellow infection from a pair of soiled underwear."
"Though I am sure no child of a famous filmmaker relishes the idea of having their work held up next to their more famous parent, here the comparison is unavoidable."
"This B-grade cinematic equation keeps getting tastier by the minute. How I ever lived without it is beyond me."
"These days, thanks to the internet, the average person sees things before breakfast that in the past required a trip to Mexico, Amsterdam or maybe even a jaunt into international waters."
"Crowley is the brainchild of Iron Maiden frontman Bruce Dickinson and director Julian Doyle. It is a very ambitious concept backed up by what would seem to be a good amount of research."
"By the time the end credits were rolling, my head was effectively whipped into submission, violently subdued by what can only be described as an amateur film perpetrated by a frenzied madman."
"[Bell serves] her duties well enough as did her co-stars, but the movie falls short with over ambitious writing. It's definitely a case of too much style over not enough substance."
"Last of the Living has more strengths than faults, though I suspect most genre-happy individuals will despise the film rather than appreciate it for what it is."
"Some of the inconsistencies and questionable ethics of “Deadgirl” can be somewhat forgiven on the basis that it is a startlingly original story that is like no other horror movie I’ve seen."
As satisfying as a melted margarita: sure it will get you drunk, but it's just not cold or sweet enough to be worth your time.
"If Dario Argento is the Italian Hitchcock, then the temptation would be to label Fulci the Italian H.G. Lewis.
"Rewiring your brain may be required before viewing, especially if you are fond of ripping films apart for the sheer pleasure of it."
"All of these putrid, stomach-churning images are having their way with Ed's fragile little mind, causing him to experience a series of horrific hallucinations."
"It’s beyond me how the protectors of Mother Nature end up looking like the bugs from 'Starship Troopers' with the head of a moose."
"If you aren't yet bored of traps 'n' torture, this film will more than satisfy your bloodlust."
"Demons that bludgeon a couple of people to death off screen and kidnap a woman only to let her free without harm just don’t prime the tension pump."
"How James Cummins' 1991 gore-soaked freak-out The Bone Yard slipped under my expensive, state-of-the-art B-movie radar is beyond me."
"There was a time when Steve Zahn, Leelee Sobieski and Danny Glover were all hot commodities in the film world..."
"In fact, what keeps the production from imploding altogether is its rich stable of likeable characters, powered by an intrepid cast of veteran players."
Wherein no one talks about people they banged in high school...
In which we try to make sense of "Return to Nukem High: Volume 1"...