mad max fury road

Horror Headlines: Thursday, December 29th, 2011

The band Phish is playing near my office for the next three nights and I'm not going to lie I'm kind of tempted to go see them. In my hometown during the summer there wasn't much to do so you would pretty much go to any concert at the local outdoor arena. And when I say go I mean you would get to the parking lot 4 hours before the show, drink and smoke till you could barely walk and then hop the fence into the concert. You know what it's like to be the only guy in a sea of hippies wearing a Megadeth t-shirt?

The Cure and Linkin Park park all on one CD!? Tell me their songs are also remixes and I'm going to punch someone in the face from excitement. They are?! I can be speaking only of the "Underworld: Awakening" soundtrack, who's track listing of hot lix has been released. Lacuna Coil and Evanescence too? You shut your god damn mouth.

When I'm looking for the straight dope on a topic I always look to Charlize Theron. She's no nonsense and up until about 2 weeks ago when I heard her speak for the first time I thought she was adorable. So when she says that she thinks "Mad Max: Fury Road" is neither a prequel or a sequel to the much loved post apocalyptic road warrior series, I think I believe her. She also thinks the lead role is still being played by Tom Hardy. She's not positive though. I don't want to sound sexist but she should probably stop talking and just look pretty.

I have no idea what the hell TomCat Films is but they released a trailer for their new film "Panman" and I think I might be smitten. It's a movie about a demon chef who kills people and the best part is he does all this while wearing a pot on his head. It's a hoot. Check out the trailer and dig into the new poster for the film. Get it... dig in... like you would food. I'm awesome.

I'm not going to bother telling you the plot of Syfy's new film "Arachnoquake". I'm just going to tell you it stars Edward Furlong and Tracey Gold. If you've forgotten, Tracey Gold was the nerdy sister on "Growing Pains" who was arrested for driving drunk with her husband and their 3 kids in the car. Edward Furlong, well he was in the "Night Of the Demons" remake recently and was once arrested twice in the same day for driving without a license and being drunk behind the wheel. What I'm saying is this is going to be the greatest wrap party ever.

In Real People News: 

Big brother is watching my friends. And he's also tweeting and posting on facebook while he's at it. According to a recent report it appears that there's a gaggle of Homeland Security agents who spend their days making fake twitter and facebook accounts to follow suspected criminals. What's better is they've also discovered some of the hot words and phrases that will trigger your account to be followed. Strangely enough "I'm going to blow up the nearest landmark" is not on the list.

It's just about lunch time, right? Here's a story about a teenage girl who's been arrested after putting human feces in cake frosting and serving it to her fellow classmates. Eat up.

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