Lizzie Borden

Lizzie (REVIEW)

Lizzie

I have run out of words to describe a movie like 2013’s “Lizzie.” Tired, uninspired, insipid, lazy, bland… they all cover this insipid piece of filmmaking. My thesaurus can’t help me anymore, so let me just say this: “Lizzie” is a waste of 93 minutes. If you have a choice between this and any other movie, you’re probably better off going with the latter.

Horror Headlines: Monday June 10th, 2013

Roland Emmerich, who directed "The Day After Tomorrow", "2012" and "Independence Day", has bought the rights to "Emergence", a new heart warming coming of age story about a young boy's struggle to reconnect with his father. I'm kidding, it's an alien invasion flick that I'm sure will have all kind of crap blowing up and whatnot. Good old Roland doesn't care about kids! He doesn't care about love. He cares about people getting their faces blow up by giant ships and crap. I don't know where I'm going with this.

Well good for them! "The Purge", which was released this past weekend went ahead and earned back its budget this past Thursday night thanks to late night and midnight showings. The film was made for about $3 million and pulled in close to $3.4 million Thursday night, eventually bringing in over $36 million over the weekend. I can't do the math on what kind of profit that is but I'm pretty sure it's a lot.

No real surprise here folks, "Halloween" will get a special 35th Anniversary release later this year from the good folks at Anchor Bay. What is a surprise though is that director John Carpenter and star Jamie Lee Curtis will reunite for a new commentary track to be included with the release. A special special edition will also be made available with signed yogurt that helps ladies go BM regularly. I made that last part up.

Christina Ricci has been hand selected by the folks at Lifetime to play Lizzie Borden in an upcoming made for TV movie about the famous ax wielding daughter. I assume this means Ricci is only a couple years away from battling giant snakes with fish heads or something on Syfy so that really should be the news here. I'm pretty excited.

In Real People News: 

Between a half hour special on the gang activity in Chicago and this guy who just got arrested for having sex with a pit bull in a local animal shelter I'm starting to think I may have made a bad choice moving here.

Ever stayed in a really gross hotel room? Well it's nothing compared to this Motel 6 in North Carolina that had a rotting corpse under one of the beds. I wonder what kind of star rating that gets on Tripadvisor. I can't imagine a really good breakfast in the lobby could make up for that.

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