christina ricci

Horror Headlines: Tuesday January 28th, 2014

Just to be clear, I have plans tonight and I'll probably get a little tipsy so the chances of you seeing three days in a row of news from me are slim to none.

The wait is over my friends, Troma's "Return to Nuke Em High" will finally hit DVD and Blu-Ray on March 18th. Lloyd Kaufman takes to the director chair again for this sequel to the beloved 1986 classic "Class of Nuke 'Em High". The disc will be chock full of commentary tracks, behind the scene features and all kinds of other magic. You like magic don't you? What kind of jackass doesn't like movie magic?

The other day I was clicking around the old boob tube and stumbled upon something called "Lizzie Borden Took An Ax" which turned out to be a new film staring Christina Ricci as the infamous parent killing ax wielding nut bag. I immediately though "Hey is this Lifetime? Wow I'm not going to watch this! Hey let's not watch that." Then I moved on. Now I read that the flick is being released on DVD this coming April 8th. So just in case you don't have Lifetime but still want to enjoy a movie that was made for Lifetime... ya know this might be important news.

Who doesn't want to see Jennifer Lopez lose her mind and go on a killing spree? No one I want to be friends with that's who! The film is called "Lila And Eve" and it's just been picked up by A+E Networks for an early 2015 release. The project also stars Viola Davis who along with Lopez goes on a killing spree of the local bad guys after their children are murdered. So ya know... I guess it's not that sexy of a movie after all.

Content Films have picked up "The Heist", a new film about a group of robbers who plan to hit a bank that just so happens to be built on top of another bank that just so happens to be haunted by a group of robbers who tried to rob the original bank. Confused? It just so happens to be a slow day and this just so happens to be the best I have right now. I swear I'll stop writing the news again.

In Real People News: 

Here's a guy in Philly who's been arrested for approaching woman and asking them to please him with Swiss cheese. The whole thing is ridiculous. Everyone knows Philly is a cheese wiz kind of town. Know your market buddy.

Oh brothers. They always got each other's back. That is of course until you're drunk watching football and your brother takes the last can of Pepsi. That apparently is when brothers lose their shit and stab each other. God I miss New Jersey.

Horror Headlines: Monday June 10th, 2013

Roland Emmerich, who directed "The Day After Tomorrow", "2012" and "Independence Day", has bought the rights to "Emergence", a new heart warming coming of age story about a young boy's struggle to reconnect with his father. I'm kidding, it's an alien invasion flick that I'm sure will have all kind of crap blowing up and whatnot. Good old Roland doesn't care about kids! He doesn't care about love. He cares about people getting their faces blow up by giant ships and crap. I don't know where I'm going with this.

Well good for them! "The Purge", which was released this past weekend went ahead and earned back its budget this past Thursday night thanks to late night and midnight showings. The film was made for about $3 million and pulled in close to $3.4 million Thursday night, eventually bringing in over $36 million over the weekend. I can't do the math on what kind of profit that is but I'm pretty sure it's a lot.

No real surprise here folks, "Halloween" will get a special 35th Anniversary release later this year from the good folks at Anchor Bay. What is a surprise though is that director John Carpenter and star Jamie Lee Curtis will reunite for a new commentary track to be included with the release. A special special edition will also be made available with signed yogurt that helps ladies go BM regularly. I made that last part up.

Christina Ricci has been hand selected by the folks at Lifetime to play Lizzie Borden in an upcoming made for TV movie about the famous ax wielding daughter. I assume this means Ricci is only a couple years away from battling giant snakes with fish heads or something on Syfy so that really should be the news here. I'm pretty excited.

In Real People News: 

Between a half hour special on the gang activity in Chicago and this guy who just got arrested for having sex with a pit bull in a local animal shelter I'm starting to think I may have made a bad choice moving here.

Ever stayed in a really gross hotel room? Well it's nothing compared to this Motel 6 in North Carolina that had a rotting corpse under one of the beds. I wonder what kind of star rating that gets on Tripadvisor. I can't imagine a really good breakfast in the lobby could make up for that.

Trailer: Christina Ricci Is Half Naked And Dead In "After.Life"

Ya know, with some different music the trailer for "After.Life" could come off as a pretty nutty comedy. The film stars Christina Ricci as Anna, a sassy young tart who finds herself inside a funeral home with Eliot Deacon, played by Liam Neeson, after a fatal car crash. Eliot convinces her that she is dead and he's the only person who can see her and apparently that she also must wear a red nighty in the great beyond. Sounds like a sick plot to get some girl he's into to run around his funeral home in next to nothing for his own amusement. But whatever, we'll go the horror rout.

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