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Horror Headlines: Wednesday December 19th, 2012

Vin Diesel and his alter ego "Riddick" are finally set to return to theaters and IMax on September 6, 2013. For those of you who are stupid and not just sold by the name Vin Diesel, this chapter in the Riddick series finds the blind guy left for dead on a sun soaked planet fighting for survival. I swear I'd see a movie if they just called it "Vin Diesel Doing Things".

If you're like me, and I pray you're not, your big New Years Eve plans revolve around getting drunk in front of the TV and screaming at Ryan Seacrest. It's sad. But now those plans may need to be put on hold because FearNet has announced they'll be doing a 12 hour marathon of the classic HBO series "Tales From the Crypt" hosted by the Cryptkeeper himself. This marks the first time in 15 years that John Kassir has reprised his role as the funny dead-one to pump out new material. It will also be the first time in 4 years that I plan on trying to stay upright till at least 8 pm.

IFC has finally dropped a release date for the much anticipated, by me at least, documentary "My Amityville Horror". The flick is a look inside the murders and spooky-time events that took place at the famous house some 30+ years ago. It also marks the first time that Daniel Lutz, who was 10 at the time, has gone on record about the events. Oh, the release date is March 1st for VOD. I probably should of mentioned that earlier.

It looks like the US remake of the Chilean horror flick "Hidden In the Woods" has officially been picked up for a 2013 US release. The film follows two girls and their fight to escape the horror they've faced all their life while living under the rule of an evil drug lord. No word yet on a specific release date or what sort of distribution the flick will get but stay tuned. If any info happens to be posted on the random days I decide to do the news you'll be the first to know. Or not.

In Real People News: 

A Golden Corral in Wyoming has been temporarily shut down after 167 people reported getting food poisoning after visiting the buffet. Is it wrong that I think I would still go there? I'm a sucker for an ice cream bar.

Cops had to come to a South Carolina home after there was a report of domestic abuse that was apparently caused by the husbands farts. Said farts were apparently so bad that his wife was gagging and couldn't take it anymore. This guy sounds like an American hero.

Attack of the Killer Hamburger

Yes, your Connoisseur of Crap has found another gem!!! I don't know too much about this: it's an animated short I found over at Fearnet.com about killer hamburgers, developed by students at the animation school "Supinfocom Arles" - and I LOVE it. It starts off as innocent as any Pixar family favorite, and quickly becomes a twisted gore fest. Sure, the story about hamburgers out for human flesh is a bit bizarre, but that's how I like it, and the animation is pretty damn amazing! Check it out.

Celebrate Easter with FearNET!

It's almost the halfway mark to Halloween, and it just happens to coincide with Zombie Jesus Day...I mean, Easter! To celebrate, FearNET invited Trick 'R Treat director Michael Dougherty to bring his special talents, and wish the FearNET viewers a happy Easter Holiday. And as a added treat, everyone's favorite mayhem causing, bag wearing, mischief maker Sam even makes an appearance. This video hit close to home, reminding me of the wholesome holidays spent with my family.

Enjoy! This is hilarious!

Horror Headlines: Tuesday June 22nd, 2010

Now becoming a daily occurrence, the upcoming "Fright Night" remake is in the news once more! The official casting appears to be over as the movie has been given a release date of October 7, 2011.

Even though the current season of HBO's "True Blood" is only two episodes in, the big wigs love it so much they've already renewed the show for a fourth season in 2011.

There's a new horror channel coming to your TV on October 1st, even though it's not exactly new; FEARnet has announced it will become a linear cable channel as opposed to its current on demand status. The channel will be broadcast in high def and hopefully remain uncut.

Disney appears to be poised to start on its first movie property after their buyout of Marvel comics as they've hired "Conan" scribes Thomas Donnelly and Joshua Oppenheimer to pen a feature length Doctor Strange film.

In Real People News: 

A man working the late shift at a Vernon meat packing plant lost both legs after falling into a meat grinder. Suddenly my drab cubicle doesn't see so bad.

A French prisoner removed his cellmate's lung and proceeded to cook it on a makeshift burner with a few onions before devouring it. He didn't mean to eat his lung though, he was after his heart so he could steal his soul.

On this day in history: 

1633 - The Holy Office in Rome forces Galileo Galilei to recant his scientific view that the Sun, not the Earth, is the center of the Universe.

Horror Headlines: Thursday October 8th, 2009

Brad Anderson, of "Session 9" fame, has signed on to direct "The Living and the Dead" for Solipsist films. The story is about a "monstrous character who engages in the 19th century version of snuff theater, luring innocent poeple in a Grand Guignol of flesh and blood".

"Paranormal Activity" producers ready to sell spec for "The Jealous One".

I'm just as surprised as this guy is that Syfy has yet to make a film about the Mongolian Deathworm. Looks like we're both getting our wish?

Check out the trailer for Rob Hall's web series "Fear Clinic". Hall is fresh off his direct to video slasher "Laid To Rest". This new series will be airing exclusively on FearNET.

In Real People News: 

You may have thought that owning 80 cats had something to do with the fire that destroyed this woman's home, but you'd be wrong... it was actually a colony of ants who were nesting around an electrical outlet. That is some seriously impressive hygiene, right there.

Tough guys think they're going to beat up on a couple of fellas in drag, turns out they're cage fighters on a "fancy dress stag night" out with friends. Fierce ass-kicking ensues.

This is officially the first time I've ever heard of someone being murdered over a BAM-BAM pendant. Or really, anything BAM-BAM related. He must have been a huge Flinstones fan.

People trying support local farmers by buying locally grown marijuana in California are putting financial hurt on Mexican drug cartels. Go Mom & Pop!!

On this day in history: 

1966: Lysergic Acid (LSD) is enrolled on the list of controlled substances.

Horror Headlines: Tuesaday June 30th, 2009

David Twohy has confirmed what I've known all along, that most "director's cuts" are just extended cuts put together for the sole purpose of the Studio releasing another DVD and making some money off of it. Not sure it makes me happy to be right on this one.

The duo behind "Jack Brooks Monster Slayer" is moving on to a new project called "Shrine". It sounds like your basic "hikers get lost in shady European country" deal, and occult wackiness ensues. The news to me is that they're not working on a "Jack Brooks 2", although based on conversations I've had with Knautz I assume that they've just put that project on the backburner for now. I'll let you guys know when we have confirmation on that.

Robert Englund and Kane Hodder to star in 5 episode web series for FearNET called "Fear Clinic". The story follows a doctor (Englund) using controversial and potentially dangerous methods to help patients overcome their biggest fears. It will debut this October and is being directed by Robert Hall of "Laid To Rest" fame.

Matt Reeves talks about directing the "Let the Right One In" remake. He sounds like a big fan and genuinely into the material, but every director seems to know how to sing the right song when it comes to genre fans these days, so I remain skeptical.

In Real People News: 

Ladies and gentleman, I give you, this year's "World's Ugliest Dog".

Coolio has been convicted on cocaine charges, and ordered to go to rehab. I wonder if they'll let him keep the wacky hair while he's there? We can only hope.

On this day in history: 

1882: Charles Guiteau, the assassin of President Garfield, is hanged. Tickets for the event went for as much as $300.

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