Hidden In the Woods

Horror Headlines: Wednesday December 19th, 2012

Vin Diesel and his alter ego "Riddick" are finally set to return to theaters and IMax on September 6, 2013. For those of you who are stupid and not just sold by the name Vin Diesel, this chapter in the Riddick series finds the blind guy left for dead on a sun soaked planet fighting for survival. I swear I'd see a movie if they just called it "Vin Diesel Doing Things".

If you're like me, and I pray you're not, your big New Years Eve plans revolve around getting drunk in front of the TV and screaming at Ryan Seacrest. It's sad. But now those plans may need to be put on hold because FearNet has announced they'll be doing a 12 hour marathon of the classic HBO series "Tales From the Crypt" hosted by the Cryptkeeper himself. This marks the first time in 15 years that John Kassir has reprised his role as the funny dead-one to pump out new material. It will also be the first time in 4 years that I plan on trying to stay upright till at least 8 pm.

IFC has finally dropped a release date for the much anticipated, by me at least, documentary "My Amityville Horror". The flick is a look inside the murders and spooky-time events that took place at the famous house some 30+ years ago. It also marks the first time that Daniel Lutz, who was 10 at the time, has gone on record about the events. Oh, the release date is March 1st for VOD. I probably should of mentioned that earlier.

It looks like the US remake of the Chilean horror flick "Hidden In the Woods" has officially been picked up for a 2013 US release. The film follows two girls and their fight to escape the horror they've faced all their life while living under the rule of an evil drug lord. No word yet on a specific release date or what sort of distribution the flick will get but stay tuned. If any info happens to be posted on the random days I decide to do the news you'll be the first to know. Or not.

In Real People News: 

A Golden Corral in Wyoming has been temporarily shut down after 167 people reported getting food poisoning after visiting the buffet. Is it wrong that I think I would still go there? I'm a sucker for an ice cream bar.

Cops had to come to a South Carolina home after there was a report of domestic abuse that was apparently caused by the husbands farts. Said farts were apparently so bad that his wife was gagging and couldn't take it anymore. This guy sounds like an American hero.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday, July 31st, 2012

Truth be told I didn't even know they had electricity in Chile but apparently in between mass producing baby back ribs they managed to put out a horror movie titled "Hidden In the Woods". Well hold your poppers kids because Jennifer Blanc and Michael Biehn have already decided to remake the film for your fine English ears. The film focuses on two sisters who are terrorized by their father after they try to report him to the police for dealing drugs and in general being a prick. Those were all Chili's references if you didn't get it.

I've never seen a Kirk Wong movie before but I have seen at least two of his movies available for renting on netflix so I assume he's pretty famous. Well apparently Kirky boy (I call him Kirky boy) has decided to come out of retirement (I had no idea he was retired) to direct a new film simply titled "Six". Not to be confused with "Leonard Part 6" the film follows a doctor who fuses animals and humans together. Wait, that does sound a lot like "Leonard Part 6" doesn't it? Confuse away.

Is it racist that I just assumed that John Leguizamo has already been cast as a drug dealer in Ridley Scott's "The Counselor"? I mean it might be. But he has now so maybe that makes it not racist. I don't know. Let's just go with "no" and talk about how great I look today.

It's confession time here at BGH, folks. Truth be told I tell you about a lot of Blu-Ray releases and pretend to be excited but in reality have no real intentions of buying them. But this one folks I promise you will end up on my book case. Well it's more of a large dresser type thing. It sounds weird but it really completes the room. It's Ikea but surprisingly sturdy. Oh right the movie, it's "They Live" and it will be available on November 16th.

In Real People News: 

You ever go to sleep at night and wake up the next day and have no idea where you put your penis? No matter where you look it just doesn't seem to be in its usual place? No me either, but this guy in China had that happen.

I'll be honest I walk around the fine city of NYC every day and become a giant disgusting mess of sweat and filth. But I've never, ever, thought that washing my man bits in a fountain was a good idea. No one wants to see that. Turns out you can go to jail for it also.

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