No surprise here, "Piranha 3DD" has been slapped with an R rating by the fine people at the MPAA because of it's gore and boobies. Those aren't the words they used but I think you get the idea. Boobies.
Hey remember "The X-Files"? I do too. Man we have so many memories in common. Well despite the lack luster results of 2008's "X-Files: I Want To Believe" film it looks like there's a solid chance writer Frank Spotnitz will be dropping another installment in the never ending series sometime in the next few years. Sorry fans of.... whatever the hell else he's been doing. You'll have to wait.
Vinnie Jones might be a giant man but for some reason to me he seems like a big old sweetheart. Vincent D'Onofrio on the other hand is probably a really nice guy but I always assume he's got woman locked in his basement. I'm not sure what 50 Cent does with his free time. The point here is that all three have joined Sylvester Stallone in "The Tomb", a film about a prison designer who must escape his own creation. I didn't say it was a good point.
If you like Bigfoot and you like "The Blair Witch Project" then you're going to love "Exists" which will officially start filming next week. The movie is a found footage flick by Blair Witch mastermind Eduardo Sanchez and tells the story of a group of campers in Texas who are stalked by the big one. If you're luke warm on one of those things and still like the other you might still be excited. I don't want to speak for you.
In Real People News:
Something about saying this Illinois woman is under arrest for "tearing" her boyfriends scrotum off is so much worse then just saying she removed it. Or borrowed it. Tearing is so harsh. It makes my baby making parts hurt.
Remember in "Jackass" when what's his name went into the car wash to get all the doody off his ass? Well apparently that doesn't really work because police in British Columbia discovered a man screaming his head off in the middle of a car wash after he thought it would be funny to run through naked. If you can't trust "Jackass" who can you trust?
Hey remember Haley Joel Osment? The little fella who could see dead people in "The Sixth Sense" and creeped his way into all of our hearts back in 1999? Well it looks like he's back in the horror genre with a starring role in the upcoming Frankenstein flick "Wake the Dead". The movie is based on a novel by Steve Niles and it appears Osment will play the mad doctor Victor Frankenstein. So I guess his character will see dead people. Get it? Cause ya know... the Frankenstein monster was dead or something... Comedic gold.
Speaking of 1999, another film called "The Blair Witch Project" came out that year also. Well Eduardo Sanchez, one half of the writing and directing team behind the Blair Witch, is heading back into the woods with his new film "Exists". The movie will follow a group of teenagers who find themselves trapped in a cabin in the middle of a forrest being attacked by a bigfoot like creature. There better be some close up shots of people's snot. You can't top the classics.
Jim Uhls, who adapted Chuck Palahniuk's book "Fight Club" for the big screen, and Trent Reznor are teaming up to create a new mini series for HBO based on the Nine Inch Nails album "Year Zero". The series will take place in the year 2022 and show a world run by a corrupt government. And needless to say I will be both bored and confused by the entire thing.
Lauren Cohan, who wasn't on "The Hills" apparently and Scott Wilson are the latest additions to the ever growing cast of the second season of "The Walking Dead". Wilson will play the owner of a farm that the traveling group ends up on and Cohen will play his daughter. I hope she doesn't end up with that jerk Brody Jenner. She can do so much better than him and he's only after one thing.
In Real People News:
Little tip for the ladies out there. If the cops show up at your house because you've been beating the crap out of your boyfriend a sure fire way to get out of going to jail is not biting the arresting officer. Sounds obvious I know but a 30 year old woman in Ohio is under arrest for just that. And the kicker is now that she claims to be HIV positive. I bet she gets off with a warning.
And fellas this one is for you. If the cops show up because there's been complaints about loud arguments you might want to wait till after they leave before urinating on your significant other like this guy in South Carolina did. Or not doing it at all. I should say don't pee on your loved one at all, right? Yeah.. don't do it.