x-files: I want to believe

Horror Headlines: Friday, April 6th, 2011

No surprise here, "Piranha 3DD" has been slapped with an R rating by the fine people at the MPAA because of it's gore and boobies. Those aren't the words they used but I think you get the idea. Boobies.

Hey remember "The X-Files"? I do too. Man we have so many memories in common. Well despite the lack luster results of 2008's "X-Files: I Want To Believe" film it looks like there's a solid chance writer Frank Spotnitz will be dropping another installment in the never ending series sometime in the next few years. Sorry fans of.... whatever the hell else he's been doing. You'll have to wait.

Vinnie Jones might be a giant man but for some reason to me he seems like a big old sweetheart. Vincent D'Onofrio on the other hand is probably a really nice guy but I always assume he's got woman locked in his basement. I'm not sure what 50 Cent does with his free time. The point here is that all three have joined Sylvester Stallone in "The Tomb", a film about a prison designer who must escape his own creation. I didn't say it was a good point.

If you like Bigfoot and you like "The Blair Witch Project" then you're going to love "Exists" which will officially start filming next week. The movie is a found footage flick by Blair Witch mastermind Eduardo Sanchez and tells the story of a group of campers in Texas who are stalked by the big one. If you're luke warm on one of those things and still like the other you might still be excited. I don't want to speak for you.

In Real People News: 

Something about saying this Illinois woman is under arrest for "tearing" her boyfriends scrotum off is so much worse then just saying she removed it. Or borrowed it. Tearing is so harsh. It makes my baby making parts hurt.

Remember in "Jackass" when what's his name went into the car wash to get all the doody off his ass? Well apparently that doesn't really work because police in British Columbia discovered a man screaming his head off in the middle of a car wash after he thought it would be funny to run through naked. If you can't trust "Jackass" who can you trust?

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