Blake Sheldon

Horror Headlines: Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

I'm not the least bit ashamed to admit I've had Carly Rae Jepsen's soon to be classic hit "Call Me Maybe" stuck in my head for three days now. It's so joyous.

Michael Kenneth Williams had what might be my favorite line ever in a TV show or movie on "Boardwalk Empire" but unfortunately I can only quote it in the shower, with music on and after a quick scan of my neighborhood to make sure no one is home. It's pretty bad. What I'm getting at here is Michael Kenneth Williams has been rumored to be joining the "Robocop" remake at Alex Murphy's partner and family friend. I mean partner in a police sort of way, not like life partner. Although they may have changed the story for the remake. I don't judge.

Blake Sheldon is apparently not the country singer. That guy has a T in his name or something. This Blake is an actor and he's been tapped to play not 1 but 2 roles in the upcoming season of "American Horror Story". Young Shel Shel (patent pending) will play the role of "Devon" and "Cooper" in the next chapter in the series. I have no idea who those characters are but they're powerful names so I have high hopes.

Do you like classic horror movies? Of course you do. Even if you don't you're too embarrassed to admit you don't like them. So most likely you and a group of friends will be too ashamed to call each other's bluffs about wanting to see "The Birds", "Frankenstein" and "Bride of Frankenstein" when they are restored and put into theaters this coming September and October. Make comments like "oh this is classic" and "did you know 'The Birds' is a reference to the threat of communism". You're going to look so cultured.

Don't ask me why but I'm here to tell you that Lindsay Lohan and Charlie sheen have both been added to the cast of "Scary movie 5". I'm also here to tell you that I've been wearing the same clothes for 2 days... to work.

In Real People News: 

Hey here's a guy who is going to jail because he went around giving BJ's to men who passed out at local bars. One man's public service is another man's forced sex act. It's a crazy world.

I want to tell you about this kid who got disqualified from the Olympics for, according to him, accidentally eating pot brownies. Not because I really care about the story but because he went to my high school and is from my home town and that makes me proud. Go America.

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